


How The Angels Got Their Wings

by pattons_second_cookie



Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: Blood, Character Death, Crying, Death, Emotional Manipulation, False Identity, M/M, Multi, Pain, Panic Attacks, Sleep Deprivation, Spoilers, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-04-16 03:47:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 44,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14155959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pattons_second_cookie/pseuds/pattons_second_cookie
Summary: All the Sides are guardian angels, but it takes time before they get their wings. They have to prove their purpose in order to be given their true set of wings. What they learn is that earning your wings is an extremely painful process, both physically and mentally.





	1. Chapter 1

Guardian angels always knew that getting wings took time. None of the angels were ever brought into existence with a pre-existing set. They knew that getting your wings meant you had discovered the purpose you serve to the one you guard. Finding your purpose often took time, but the outcome of getting your wings and seeing their exquisite feathers always kept the angels’ hopes high.

The wings themselves would often reflect an angel’s purpose more than the angels themself. Color and size could often reveal quite a bit more than just an angel’s purpose. They can also uncover deep personality traits originally left hidden.

Natural colors always followed similar patterns. White wings were almost always a sign of purity, and many angels could spot who would get white wings based off of another angel’s bubbly and kindhearted nature. Grey wings typically were associated with more analytical and rational angels, the bookworms if you will. Brown wings often went to more free spirited angels, ones who were sometimes too caught up in daydreaming to properly guard their host. Black wings were sinister and dark, most angels were fearful of those who hand black wings because it almost always meant bad news.

Unnatural colors were difficult to understand. They were so rare, it was hard to tell what they meant. Sometimes an angel would come by with bright red or blue wings, and another could follow with the faintest shade of green across their feathers. Unnatural colors meant something special, but no one could really figure out what.

Earning your wings was one thing, but actually getting them was an entirely different story. They’re buried within an angel, literally- they exist inside of them until an angel’s full potential is reached. When the wings escape, it’s painful to say the least. No angel has ever really described it, they just say every muscle in their body hurt, then there was a release, and then they had wings. No one ever seemed to want to give a detailed explanation.

But then again, no set of guardian angels was as close as Thomas’.

Thomas’ angels were almost too close by the accounts of some, but they always argued that it made them better at guarding Thomas. And ‘they’ mainly refers to Patton.

Patton was the most caring of Thomas’ angels. He had been with Thomas since the very beginning, and knew every single thing Thomas liked and disliked. The others could practically see the white wings floating behind him, even though none of them had developed theirs yet. Patton always did what was best for Thomas and those Thomas interacted with. His room existed near Thomas’ heart, making sure his feelings were always in the right place. Patton was friendly, approachable, and very dad-like in nature. No one ever had a bad thing to say about Patton, except why he didn’t have his wings yet.

Logan was almost impossible to find when he first started helping. He was always busy bumbling around in his room located in Thomas’ brain- sorting out facts, focusing on schedules, managing tasks of the other angels. He knew Thomas had many things to achieve in life, and Logan constantly overworked himself to make sure everything was perfect. When he finally started easing up on his refinement, he still found himself drifting back into Thomas’ mind without thinking. There was serious work to be done and he was the one to do it!

Roman was a bit of a nuisance when he first showed up. He could not keep a single idea to himself! And the singing- oh goodness the singing- every song Thomas heard Roman had learned in under an hour. On top of that, he would write ideas all over the place- the mindspace was always a mess with Roman’s notes and drawings and ideas. This was partly because Roman never spent much time in his room- located just behind Thomas’ left ear where he could whisper fanciful thoughts to him. He would constantly travel back a forth between Patton and Logan, seeking proper approval and refinement for his ideas. No one would ever admit it, but the others really hoped that Roman had been assigned the wrong host and would leave at some point. But he didn’t, and he eventually got better at finding his place.

Then there was Anxiety. Well, he had a proper name like the others, but nobody knew what it was. He wasn’t the youngest angel to join, they were technically all the same age, but he was the latest to join and no one really knew much about him. He was always tucked away in his room, located behind Thomas’ right ear where he could easily oppose Roman, and none of the other angels really knew what he did there. Whenever he left his room, the others knew that he was going to present a problem. Logan and Roman were not particularly fond of him; he always second-guessed Logan’s “facts” and shut down a lot of Roman’s ideas. Patton did his best to make Anxiety feel welcome, but Anxiety still preferred to stay in his room.

If Thomas ever came upon a serious or major dilemma, they would all gather in the central mindspace to sort out the issue. Everyone contributed what they thought was best, the issue was sorted out, and they always seemed to leave Thomas in a better state than before. That was how everything ran, and it was always neat and orderly. Until things started changing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is developing different ideas of how Thomas should love. It’s taking a major toll on Patton. Also Roman’s an ass for some reason.

The angels had all seemed to get to know each other better over time. Anxiety hadn’t been interacting with the others much, but Patton was still trying his best to make him feel comfortable. Logan was focusing intently on Thomas’ studies; the time fore Thomas to apply for college was coming closer and closer. Roman was loving everything about being with Thomas- the music, the ideas, the chances at love. Thomas was 15, and life was starting to pick up for him and his angels. Sophomore year of high school was becoming rather intense for a multitude of reasons. Thomas had numerous studies to keep up on, he had landed a major role in his school’s production of Grease, and he was trying to work up the courage to ask his crush, Jess, to the winter dance.

The angels, however, did not seem agree with each other on that last bit.

“I just feel like getting all dressed up and spending the whole night with her might go bad,” Anxiety whimpered as he pulled his large hoodie around his shoulders.

“Based off of all knowledge of courtship we have acquired, it is completely customary for a teenage boy to interact with a teenage girl he is fond of,” replied Logan from behind his desk.

“And besides Anxiety, the theme is Beauty and the Beast! We have to go and treat Jess like the princess she is,” Roman belted as he was leaping around the mindspace with a rose in his mouth.

“They’re right, Anxiety. We can’t dismiss the thought just yet. Maybe Thomas will really start to like this girl- maybe he’ll even fall in love with her,” Patton said in his usual reassuring tone.

“Are we even sure that he likes girls? I mean, he never seemed to notice them until a few months ago,” Anxiety said as he stood up off of the stairs and started pacing around the room.

“As a human being entering the early stages of adolescence, it should be normal for Thomas to be presenting heterosexual tendencies quite often,” Logan noted without looking away from his book.

“And what boy in his right mind wouldn’t like a girl?!,” Roman practically shouted. “Especially a girl like Jess! Gorgeous, smart, charismatic- she’s perfect. Trust me, I know love, and Thomas definitely loves her.”

“Should we all really be making assumptions like that?” Patton questioned the other angels. “I mean, I’m not picking agreeing or disagreeing with any of you, but you haven’t been here for as long as I have. I’ve been with Thomas since he was born, and I’m pretty sure I would know if he did or did not love this girl.”

Patton’s voice awkwardly trailed off towards the end of his sentence. He was feeling some weird pit open in his stomach, and he couldn’t place why. He sunk back into the couch and listened as the others continued to argue over Thomas’ sexuality. He knew this day would come eventually, and it tore him apart in a number of ways to not be able to tell them. They would be so upset to know that Patton wanted Thomas to love a boy. Well, Anxiety might have different thoughts; he already seems more suspicious than the others. But he couldn’t risk it. Not yet.

The day of the dance came faster than expected, and everyone had allowed Thomas to ask Jess to the go with him. Anxiety was more than reluctant to the idea, and he annoyed the others by going over every detail pertaining to what could go wrong during the night. From something as simple as Thomas dancing like a fool, to Jess rejecting him in front of a crowd. Roman was on the complete other side of things. He was making sure Thomas would be in his best clothes, that he kept his head high all through the day, and he was running over exactly how Thomas would interact with Jess all day long. Logan was more focused on Thomas’ studies during the day; he wasn’t all that interested in emotions, and someone needed to focus on truly important things. Patton spent the day in his room, and no one had seen him much. He hadn’t been preparing meals for the others, and at moments he was too caught up in his nerves to leave his bed. The most recent days had be stressing him more and more, and now he wasn’t sure what to do with himself. As the school day wrapped up, Patton willed himself out of bed and made his way up to Anxiety’s room. If there was one angel he would trust with this information, it was Anxiety.

Patton sat on the edge of Anxiety’s bed, looking extremely fatigued. “Anxiety… there’s something I need to tell you, but you must promise me you won’t tell the others.”

“Umm… Okay? I-I mean, of course I won’t tell anyone else. You can trust me with anything, Patton,” Anxiety said as he joined Patton on the bed.

“I know you don’t want Thomas going to the dance, and I have to say I agree with you. But I’m pretty sure my reason why is different from yours,” Patton had started to tense up.

Anxiety wanted to tell Patton to say what he needed and then leave so things didn’t get worse, but he thought telling him so would make Patton hate him.

“It’s okay Patton. Take your time, I’ll wait,” Anxiety tried his best to pull off a comforting tone.

The silence in the room was deafening as the two angels tried to think of something to say. Anxiety was about to speak again, but Patton’s voice had cut him off.

“I’m gay!…” Patton blurted it out before he even registered what her was doing. “And because I’m gay, and I look over Thomas’ feelings, I’m more than sure Thomas is gay, too. And… and I don’t want him going to the dance with some girl because there’s no way I could make him love her!” His last sentence was stammered so fast it was almost incomprehensible. 

There was another silence that seemed to last forever, but Anxiety was eventually the one to break it.

“Well… then we have to do something about it tonight,” Anxiety said without hesitation. “Thomas will hate himself if he falls for a girl he doesn’t actually like.”

“But he’s already going to the dance with her! We can’t stop him now,” Patton’s voice was becoming shaky as he became more unsure of himself.

“He has to accept himself now. You can’t force him to live in denial like this. I can tell this is eating you up, and you couldn’t possibly want the same thing to happen to Thomas,” Anxiety’s voice was becoming forceful, as if he was commanding Patton to confess to the others.

Patton didn’t say anything as he got off of Anxiety’s bed and fled to his own room. His head was flooded with what he could do to control this situation. He spent the next several hours pacing around his room, trying to think of what he could do to help Thomas. With an hour left before the dance, Patton had developed an idea: Thomas would kiss Jess, and Patton would make sure he felt nothing. It was an evil idea, but it needed to be done. Patton had been so caught up in his idea, he hadn’t notice the rise in his body temperature or the slight trembling of his muscles.

Everyone had gathered in the central mindspace for the dance, and things seemed to be going well. Roman stood in the center of the mindspace, where an angel could hold the most control, and was having Thomas sing and dance along to almost every song that was playing. Anxiety was trying to stop Roman because Thomas was acting way too foolishly. Logan sat at his desk and simply made sure the others weren’t causing too much damage with one another. Patton was on the far end of the couch, violently shaking and sweating, waiting for his plan to fall into action.

Finally, he heard the words from the DJ echo through Thomas’ ears, “Alright all you young loves, it’s time for the last slow dance of the night, So pull that special someone in real tight for this one,”

Patton suddenly jumped of the couch and exclaimed “I have an idea!” He pushed Roman to the ground as he prepared to make his over-calculated moves. He allows Thomas to hold Jess closely, and soon he starts to take in the surroundings to think of where he can take them. None of the others had seen Patton so forceful before, and they’re all too shaken to try and stop him. 

After finding the nearest exit, Patton has Thomas grab Jess’ hand and makes them run out of the gymnasium together. They stop behind a wall that’s out of sight from any teachers, and before Jess can begin to question what’s happening, Thomas kisses her. It isn’t the most awkward first kiss, but it was completely unexpected for everyone involved.

Just as Thomas pulls back, Patton feels the immediate rush of emotions come through him. Except not a single one of them are good. Anger, guilt, confusion, even some fear; Thomas didn’t get one good feeling from what had just happened. Patton stood in the center of the mindspace, groaning as he holds back all of the feelings. Thomas needs to feel nothing when it comes to girls. This needs to happen. It’s so painful, but it needs to happen.

The other angels have all snapped out of their dazes, but it’s far too late. Before Roman and Logan can do anything about Patton’s actions, Anxiety speaks up from where he sat upon the stairs.

“Patton is gay. And in turn, so is Thomas. This needed to happen but he didn’t want to tell you guys because he figured you would get mad about it. But you have to let him do this,” Anxiety’s words were almost incomprehensible because of how fast he was speaking.

The other angels stood there, mouths agape, trying to think of something to say. Roman was the first to speak up.

“Thomas isn’t gay, and Patton has absolutely no right to make that decision for him!”

“He told me about it!” Anxiety protested, “He’s been keeping track of Thomas’ feelings for his entire life. He needed Thomas to realize it, and you need to realize it too!”

“There’s nothing to realize! He’s not gay! Patton wouldn’t have kept it from us if he was!”

“He didn’t want you guys to know because he figured you would react like this and stop him! If you weren’t such a hetero-normative asshole, we wouldn’t be dealing with this!”

“Oh so I’m the asshole even though you and Patton were the ones keeping secrets from us!?!!”

The two angels’ voices were beginning to overlap as their argument became more heated. After a few moments, the voice of reason interjected.

“As much as I would like to determine which is you has a better opinion on this matter, I believe we have a slightly more important issue to deal with,” Logan stated in a monotone.

“And what is that Boy Geniu-” 

Roman’s insult was cut off short by the sight of Patton in the center of the room. His body had gone rigid, and he was moaning and whimpering; he was clearly in severe pain. Anxiety began to move towards him, but Patton suddenly began twisting around and screaming out.

“STOP IT!! SOMEBODY MAKE IT STOP!!! IT HURTS!!” Patton’s screams were echoing through everyone of the other angels. His body continued to contort wildly as Anxiety began to slowly crawl towards him.

“What’s happening? How can we help him?! We need to help him!!” Anxiety looked up at Logan with worrisome eyes.

“I-I don’t think there’s anything we can do,” Logan said, trying to find some explanation for what was happening to Patton. “I think we just have to let this happen. I-I’m sorry, Anxiety.”

Anxiety was crouched as close to Patton as he could get without feeling scared. “I don’t know if you can hear me,” he whisered as Patton continued writhing on the floor, “but I’m not going to leave you until this is over.”

“This is just great! Patton ruins Thomas’ first chance at love, and now he and Anxiety are in the center of the mindspace. Thomas is probably freaking out about what he’s just done and it’s all their faults for keeping secrets.” Roman didn’t seem to care about Patton at all in this moment.

“I HAD TO,” Patton cried out through gritted teeth before reaching out to try and take Anxiety’s hand.

“I want to put him in his room, Logan,” Anxiety said as he inched closer to Patton’s body. “He needs to be somewhere comfortable until this passes.”

“I agree.” Logan said as he determines the best angle to carry Patton from. “Grab his legs, and I’ll take his torso. Roman, try not to do anything ridiculous while we’re gone.”

Roman simply huffed and began pacing around the room. 

Anxiety and Logan carefully put Patton on his bed. He was still moving too much for them to attempt putting covers on him, but he was at the very least out of the central mindspace. Logan had decided Patton would be in capable hands with Anxiety, and returned to the mindspace to try and calm Roman. Anxiety pulled a chair up to the side of Patton’s bed, and watched in horror as the other angel continue to suffer.

“Why is this happening? You don’t deserve this. You told the truth, so why does it seem like your being punished for it? If anyone should be punished, it should be me. I kept a secret from the others. This is my fault that you’re-” 

Anxiety’s rambling was cut off as Patton leaned forward, and Anxiety finally saw what was happening to him. Along Patton’s back, muscles were shifting and contracting. His wings were emerging. This whole time, that’s what was happening, and none of the other’s had realized. Anxiety sat completely silent as a bloodcurdling screamed escaped from Patton. The smaller angel jumped up and nearly ran out of the room in fear as Patton’s shirt ripped off, and a set of blinding white wings filled up the space behind him. They were smaller that most angels, both Anxiety understood why Patton had been in so much pain.

Anxiety couldn’t believe his eyes. To know such beauty could come from that amount of pain was impossible for him to believe. He was wonder-struck for a moment as he took in Patton’s dazzling new features. Then he sat back down upon realizing Patton was hyperventilating. 

Anxiety leaned closer to Patton and listened as his breathing slowly steadied. “You’re okay now Patton. It’s over now. You’re okay.”

Patton didn’t speak. After all the screaming he had done, he wasn’t sure he could talk. He reached over to Anxiety and pulled him into a tight hug. Anxiety wasn’t that fond of hugs, but after seeing what Patton just went through he didn’t protest. As Anxiety reached around Patton, he couldn’t help but feel his wings. Their feathers were soft and warm. Comforting, just like Patton.

“Thank you for staying, Anxiety,” Patton delicately whispered.

A few moments passed before Patton decided he needed to talk with Roman about what had transpired in the central mindspace. Logan was obviously struggling to control Roman’s temper as their voices echoed throughout the room. Both of their voices were cut off by the sight of Patton and his wings. Although Patton knew his wings were a bit distracting, he didn’t want to waste any time getting to his point.

“Roman, I’ve known Thomas’ feelings longer than anyone else here. I know what’s best for him, and I knew that letting him lie to himself was an awful idea. We’re responsible for him, and we should be accepting of him and all of his traits. I wasn’t going to make things difficult for him by having him lie about who he is. I know it was wrong of me to keep this from you, but it needed to happen. I hope that you understand that this needed to happen.”

“But Thomas isn’t-”

“This isn’t up for debate young man,” Patton says, cutting off whatever Roman had planned to say. His tone of voice made it clear he was entering Dad Mode. “Thomas is our host, and we are here to respect him and love him no matter what. That means that we address his feelings and rather than try to change them, we accept them. We shouldn’t have to lie to him, and we shouldn’t have to fight each other about who he is. And that’s that.”

“Well spoken, Patton,” Logan said, clearly glad someone could handle the obnoxious prince. “Would you care to explain your- umm- new features?” he asked, gesturing to his set of dazzling wings.

“These simply mean that I know my place with Thomas. I need to be honest with him, and he needs to be honest with himself. I know they’re a bit distracting, but I’m still me so you have nothing to worry about there!” He grinned and spun in a circle to show the others his wings. They didn’t even pass the small of his back. Logan began to step forward to examine every inch of Patton’s wings.

“So, what do we do now?” Anxiety asked. “We left a pretty big mess for Thomas to try to deal with.”

“Well, right now, we get him through the weekend. And on Monday, we’ll explain to Jess that Thomas’ feelings just weren’t what he thought they were, and we work to help him move on,” Patton’s voice was calm and reassuring as he started to discuss what their next actions should be.

The others began moving back to their typical places in the mindspace, and they began talking over how the next few days would go.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is pretty much just a bunch of exposition but I needed it to be out of the way before moving into the next chapters because I don’t know how to continue without this information. So sorry in advance if this chapter is a bit boring.

Logan’s room is filled with books. Like, more books than anyone should ever own ever. Floor to ceiling, wall to wall. Just. Books. But he needed all of them. They all contained information that would be useful for Thomas and himself. Yet he still managed to let some books go overlooked.

“How is it that you spend everyday reading a different book and you managed to ignore the one book that’s the most useful to us?” Roman’s tone of voice showed he was still upset over what had transpired in the previous week.

“I was planning to read it when it proved itself to be actually be useful,” Logan replied as he lead the others to his room.

“It explains any and every detail about our purpose and our wings. It should be the most useful book you own. It shouldn’t have to prove use to you.”

“Now Roman, don’t get all upset with Logan,” Patton intervened before things got too out of hand. “What’s important is that we’re all going to learn what we need to learn together. And that way, when one of you gets your wings, we’ll all be ready for it.”

“Fine,” Roman huffed as he moved ahead of the group.

The angels would visit each other’s rooms quite often, but they were always captivated by how many books Logan kept in his possession. It seemed like he could put some of the best libraries to shame. The others all gathered at a table while letting Logan look for his book. Patton and Anxiety sat right next to each other, with Anxiety tucked comfortable under Patton’s wing. The two had become much closer in recent days. Roman sat on the opposite end of the table from them. He still wouldn’t forgive them for keeping secrets. Logan had let the others get comfortable while he climbed a ridiculously tall ladder to retrieve the book he was looking for.

“Here we are,” Logan said as he placed a large leather-bound book in the center of the table. It was a beautiful shade of purple with gold lettering that read “The Angelic Guide to Protection”

“So, you haven’t read this yet?” Anxiety asked.

“I looked over useful information such as how each angel serves a designated purpose to their host and how we each hold a certain amount of power over Thomas. But the information about our wings I had found irrelevant for the time being,” Logan answered as he searched the book for his desired chapter. “Ah, here it is. Chapter 19: Wing Development.”

The other angels immediately gathered closer around Logan. Although they had all been given the same book before being assigned to protect Thomas, it was more or less Logan’s job to remember its information.

Logan began reading, “In the event an angel has begun developing his or her wings, there are several essential guidelines that must be followed:

1\. Do not allow the angel to be in full control of their host for an extended time. Even in the moments before their wings emerge. Angels can sometimes act rashly and cause their host to act the same way. It does not always lead to a bad situation, but other angels should be cautious. The unkempt amount of feelings and pain could potentially cause harm to the host or those near the host.

2\. Do not leave the angel unattended for any reason. Some angels will develop erratic and unpredictable movements brought on by the pain they experience. Without someone in the immediate area to help the angel, they could begin to damage themselves beyond repair, and may be removed from the host.

3\. Keep the angel cold and relaxed. As an angel’s wings begin to emerge, they will experience a drastic rise in body temperature, as well as severe muscle contractions. Working to cool down an angel’s temperature and relax some of their muscles can often help them as their wings emerge.

4\. It is an unfortunate but common occurrence when an angel does not survive the emergence of their wings. An angels wings may not always be compatible for their body, and can sometimes cause an angel to die from the physical pain. Other angels should do everything in their power to make that angel comfortable as possible in case this happen.”

“That-that’s horrible,” Patton said in regards to that last mark. “I can’t imagine having any of you experiencing that.”

“Although it is an unfortunate probability, we all must be prepared for it,” Logan said before returning to the book. “The moments leading up to an angel developing their wings are crucial. These moments are those that show an angel reveal what their full purpose to their host is. It is important that an angels actions are not discouraged, for it could lead to unwanted outcomes for all those involved. -So Anxiety allowing Patton to execute his plan was the correct thing to do,” Logan noted to himself before continuing. “An angel who is interrupted may experience difficulties when developing their wings, and they may never develop wings at all.

In the moments immediately following an angel’s wings emerging, they should simply rest as much as possible. The angel should not be in full control of their host for several days, and they should avoid any laborious tasks. If an angel has not fully recovered within a week, others may need to seek help from the Guardians.”

“Wait. Who are the Guardians?” Anxiety asked with slight concern.

“They’re our supervisors, more or less,” Logan began to explain. “They oversee how we oversee Thomas’ life. If anything drastic happens to him or us, they will take charge until things are fixed.”

“That doesn’t sound invasive at all,” Roman said with clear disdain.

Logan ignored him as he searched for more valuable information within the book. There was a lot of information he felt would be boring to the others that he would read on his own time. Something had caught his attention though, as he began reading and mumbling to himself.

“Logan buddy, you gotta read out loud so the rest of us can learn too,” Patton said as he tapped Logan’s shoulder.

“Oh right. My mistake,” Logan said before clearing his throat and beginning to read aloud again,”Angels are able to control their wings with enough time and practice. Their wings are a part of them that are not always a necessary feature. With enough focus, and angel can cause their wings to no longer manifest behind them, but only for a limited amount of time. Overreaching this time could be harmful to the angel and the host.

An angels wings also allow the angel to travel to various locations of their host instantly. As long as the angel knows their destination, they can appear and disappear at will.

Despite rumors which have spread throughout the angelic community, an angel cannot actually fly with their wings. Even those with the most practical of builds do not hold the required strength to carry and angel from place to place. No accounts of an angel flying have ever been recorded, and it is ill-advised for any angel to attempt flying.”

“I feel like that last bit was aimed towards Patton,” Roman said from across the table.

“Really? I thought it more fitting to you, Mr. Dreamer,” Anxiety snarled back.

“Boys, don’t fight. Logan still has more to read,” Patton interjected.

“Yes. Thank you, Patton,” Logan said before continuing,”After most, if not all, of the angels have earned their wings, they will be able to communicate with their host directly. Even if there is still one angel who has yet received their wings, they all will be able to manifest before their host to help him/her deal with any issues.”

“We can talk to Thomas?!” Roman said, suddenly filled with enthusiasm.

“Eventually, yes. But we will have to wait until the rest of us have gotten their wings. So don’t get too eager just yet,” Logan said. He was suppressing a grin as he watched Roman jump up and down at the thought of talking with Thomas directly.

“Is there anything else? Anything we all need to know?” Anxiety asked.

Logan scanned through the remaining pages before promptly shutting the book. “No, there’s nothing that would interest the rest of you. I do believe our reading session has ended, and you all may return to your own rooms now.”

Logan’s statement seemed a little rushed, but no one seemed to notice. One by one, the others stood up and prepared to leave Logan’s room. Roman left without saying a word to the others; he really didn’t want to come to Logan’s in the first place. Anxiety simply thanked Logan for inviting them all to come learn with him, and that he wanted to be left alone for a bit. Patton gave Logan a long and slightly unnecessary hug before skipping out of Logan’s room, wings bouncing along with him.

Logan waited a few moments to ensure the others had left before he threw the book back open and hurriedly began to take notes. What he had found was beyond important, but he wasn’t willing to share it with the others. He couldn’t. It would terrify them.


	4. Chapter 4

Decision making is not a strong suit for Thomas’ angels. It almost always lead to an argument or someone going with their viewpoint unnoticed. A few years had passed since Patton had earned his wings and the others followed Logan to his library for a learning session. Thomas was now a senior in high school, and he was just months away from graduating and heading to college. Which was leading to some issues. Thomas was a bit indecisive about where he would apply to college and what major he would be pursuing. His window of opportunity was closing, and it was starting to take a toll on his angels.

“He loves acting, and he’s an incredible singer! We should have him audition for a performance arts school,” Roman was shouting as he wrote along a whiteboard. Roman was the only angel with two rooms; one to form ideas and one to live through ideas. The others all sat in a semicircle as Roman frantically wrote more and more across his board.

“That does seem to be where his passions are,” Patton nodded in agreement. “Who knows, maybe he’ll make it on Broadway one day- or maybe he’ll become a Disney prince!” Roman and Patton brainstorming together always lead to outlandish ideas.

“Or maybe he’s only good now because there aren’t many teenage guys who want to be on stage acting like a moron,” Anxiety grumbled as he watched the other two continue to form ridiculous ideas. “He’ll be a total flop at his first audition and realize how stupid this fantasy is.”

“You never let Thomas pursue any of his dreams, Anxiety!” Roman snapped as he began clenching his fist. “If this is what he wants, we should let him go through with it! I wish you would stop trying to shut down all of my ideas!”

“Roman, don’t get upset. We’re all trying to present our ideas. You shouldn’t get mad because you disagree,” Patton tried his best to calm the fuming angel.

“No. It’s fine. You clearly don’t want me here so I’ll just go,” Anxiety huffed before leaving Roman’s room.

“Anxiety, don’t-” Patton tried to follow him out.

“I’ll go calm him down. You stay here with Roman,” Logan had finally spoken up before quickly exiting the room.

Logan found Anxiety a few minutes later; pacing in the kitchen as he prepared a pot of coffee.

“What do you want?” Anxiety clearly wasn’t in a tolerable mood.

“You seemed rather upset with Patton and Roman’s ideas. Was there some other suggestion you were wanting to present?” Logan asked as he began to pour a cup of coffee for himself and Anxiety.

“It’s just. Thomas has so many strengths. Strengths that could really change the world if he wanted to. And yeah, he’s an alright performer, but that might not be best for him in the long run. I’d rather see him pursue something productive,” Anxiety said as his brow furrowed.

“Thomas excels in science courses,” Logan said as he stared into his mug. “I’ve kept a record of all his schooling. Even as a child, he was fascinated with nature, and he’s wanted to learn how to protect the environment. I understand some of the leisure and enjoyment that comes with his performances, but his intellect would best be used in a field of science.”

“How would we get the others to see that? They both seem pretty keen on Thomas attending at a performance arts school. I’m pretty sure they won’t be persuaded very easily.”

Now it was Logan’s turn to furrow his brow. “Well, Patton always wants to do what is best for Thomas. He should be convinced easily if he understands our viewpoint. Roman on the other hand feels as though the decision should be made by him and only him. So… we can fret about Roman later.”

“Are you feeling alright about this?” Anxiety asked, glancing down at Logan’s shaking hands.

“I’m not responsible for emotions, Anxiety. I’m not feeling anything right now except for a sense to develop a plan.”

With that being said, Logan rinsed out his mug and walked towards his room. Anxiety was left standing alone, wondering if he had just said something he shouldn’t have.

Logan had been in his room for hours, reading over Thomas’ past and writing out college majors he could pursue. He’d missed dinner, and wasn’t responding to anyone who called out for him. The knock coming from outside hadn’t even phased him, and him simply let out a short hum to invite in whoever was outside.

“Are you doing okay, Logan? We haven’t seen you since you left Roman’s room,” Patton made his way over to Logan’s desk, where he was met with an intriguing sight.

Logan sat towards the center of the desk, staring blankly at open binder containing some of Thomas’ old essays. Similar binders were scattered all around the massive desk, each one with various colored tabs bookmarking areas of importance. All around Logan were torn pieces of paper that had been crumpled into balls and cast aside. Directly to Logan’s left was a notebook with a list of notes, some of which Logan had started to cross out.

Logan himself looked like an absolute wreck. His hair was disheveled out of its usually neat style. His necktie was loosened, and the collar button of his shirt was undone. His eyes contained an expression Patton had never seen before, at least not from Logan. It didn’t even seem as though Logan was registering Patton’s presence.

“Logan, are you feeling alright?” Patton questioned as he reached a cautious hand towards Logan’s shoulder.

“I don’t require feelings!” Logan shouted as his body bolted upright. “I require logic, and data, and facts. And none of the facts say that Thomas should be interested in performing! There isn’t any need for it! He should study something useful. There is no practical use for singing and acting and attempting to do something so ridiculous professionally!” The words poured out of Logan with more emotion that he had ever presented before he collapsed out of his chair.

“Oh my goodness, Logan!” Patton lunged down and did his best to bring Logan to his bed. Once Logan was tucked under his covered, Patton went back over to Logan’s desk to try and figure out what he had been working on. Patton took some of the crumpled pieces of paper off of the floor, smoothed them out, and attempted to make out some of the writing.

“Thomas knows a fair amount of science.” “Thomas excels in all his science classes.” “Logan does not require feelings.” “ Decision making requires knowledge.” “Theater is not a productive carrier choice.” “Logan doesn’t have feelings.” “What Am I Feeling? Why Am I Feeling?” “I Don’t Need Feeling I Just Need FACTS! Right?”

“Something’s wrong here,” Patton muttered to himself with a shaky voice as he tried looking through more of the pages. They all appeared to have identical messages written on them. Everything else seemed to either be scratched out or too poorly written to understand. He knew the others needed to see these notes.

Patton closed his eyes and focused for a moment. He felt a rush of air around him, and the next thing he knew he was standing in the central mindspace. A very startled Roman and Anxiety were sitting on opposite sides of the room. They had clearly been cut off from an argument when Patton had appeared.

“Okay if this is going to become a normal thing, you have to give us some kind of warning first,” Roman said as he quickly worked to regain his composure.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t actually sure that would work,” Patton said with a hint of surprise in his voice. “Anyway, I need you two to look at something.” 

Patton handed some of Logan’s notes to Roman and Anxiety. He waited a moment as the two began reading over what could be deciphered.

“Holy shit,” Anxiety said as the color drained from his face. “What’s wrong with him?”

“Who cares?!” Roman said as he threw the notes on the floor. “He’s just trying to find ways to shut me down. I bet half of these notes were just made to upset Patton.”

“Oh fuck off, Princey!” Anxiety snarled back. “You don’t know shit about what he’s doing.”

“And you know everything about him? If you’re so fucking smart, then why don’t you fix him yourself?!” Roman’s voice had taken a sinister tone, and he was forcibly making his way across the room to Anxiety.

“Logan’s unconscious!” Patton shouted to the two aggravated angels.

“What?!” Anxiety’s voice broke as he jumped off the stairs and made his way to Patton.

“I went to his room to check on him. His desk was a total mess. There were binders and notes everywhere. Something must’ve happened today that has him totally freaked out. I tried to get his attention, and he shouted something about not needing feelings, and then he just fainted. I don’t know what’s wrong with him!” Patton was on the verge of tears. 

Anxiety didn’t know how to respond. He grabbed Patton’s shoulders and pulled him into a hug. They each put their full body weight onto the other. Anxiety could the heavy sobs escaping Patton’s body.

“So what are we supposed to do about it?” Roman asked. “It’s not like he’s going to wake up and start agreeing with us! That stubborn robot can stay unconscious for all I care.”

“Stop it!” Patton said, a sudden forcefulness in his voice. “Logan is clearly dealing with something he can’t handle alone. Either drop your ego or go somewhere where we can’t hear your rude and unnecessary comments.”

Roman didn’t say anything. He just rolled his eyes and made his way to his own room. He would probably go to his fields to fight a dragon or something so he could blow off steam. Meanwhile, Patton turned his attention to Anxiety, who was looking over Logan’s notes again. Patton could see him shaking ever so slightly.

“We’ll fix this,” Patton said calmly as he wrapped his arms around Anxiety. “We’ll help him figure out what he’s dealing with, and we’ll get him through it. It’s gonna be okay”

The two stood there in silence for a while. They both weren’t entirely sure about what they should do next.

“Can we wait in his room?” Anxiety finally asked to break the tension. “I mean, like, so we’re there when he wakes up.”

“Yeah. Of course we can wait there,” Patton said as he moved around the mindspace to gather all of Logan’s notes. He stuffed the notes into his pocket and moved back over to Anxiety. “Come on,” he said as he held out his hand for Anxiety to take.

Anxiety was hesitant at first, but eventually laced his fingers in between Patton’s. The two slowly made their way to Logan’s room, not exchanging many words. They only wanted each other’s presence as they mentally prepared for what would come next.


	5. Chapter 5

Logan woke up to the sight of Patton and Anxiety sitting at the foot of his bed. Anxiety was awkwardly curled up in Patton’s lap, and Patton looked like he was in desperate need of rest. Logan looked down at himself to realize someone had put him into a set of pyjamas. He looked back up to see Patton suddenly snapped back to life.

“You’re awake! Anxiety, he’s finally awake!” Patton was shaking the smaller side awake as a massive grin swept across his face.

“How long was I unconscious?” Logan asked as he suppressed a yawn.

“You were in and out for a little over two days,” Patton replied. “You were talking in your sleep a whole bunch.”

“Are you gonna tell us what happened?” Anxiety asked while rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

“I don’t think words will be much help in this scenario,” Logan said as he stood out of bed and moved to his closet. He could hear Patton and Anxiety begin to move around the room as he changed out of his pyjamas. He took his time putting on his usual attire- black button-up shirt, khaki pants with a black belt, and a simple black necktie.

Without saying a word, Logan began to walk into his library. He looked behind him for a second, signaling that Anxiety and Patton should follow. The two scampered up behind Logan, and all three angels walked in silence through the towers of bookshelves. At its surface level, the books are stacked quite high, but they wind through Thomas’ mind in confusing and twisting patterns. Logan was pretty much the only one who could maneuver them. The others followed closely out of fear they would get lost.

“Where are you taking us?” Anxiety asked after they had been walking for over half an hour.

“Here,” Logan said as they came upon a door. It looked like the door to a safe, with a large combination lock on its front. “Please turn around for a moment. Only I know the passcode.”

Patton and Anxiety did as they were told. They shared a worrisome look before hearing a click and the sound of the door swinging open.

“You may enter,” Logan said as he walked into the room. The others followed, and the gasped at what was around them.

The room itself was circular, with shelves like the rest of the library. Its ceiling was shorter than the rest of Logan’s room, but that wasn’t its most notable feature. Along all of the shelves were bottles, containing multicolored substances. A rainbow kaleidoscope filled the angels eye-line. It possessed a strange sense of wonder and mystery.

“Logan, what are these?” Patton asked as his eyes wildly scanned the room.

“Feelings,” Logan said as he held a bottle with blue and green smoke swirling within it. “I’m not responsible for Thomas’ emotions, which means I don’t require emotions myself. If I find myself caught up in emotions, I put them here. I don’t need them, and I function just fine without them.”

“Oh my god- Logan, this- this isn’t healthy. You shouldn’t be doing this,” Anxiety said as he reached for a bright red bottle.

“So what happened the other day?” Patton asked, giving Logan a concerned look.

“On occasion, I don’t have time to bottle my feelings, or I forget to do so. It sends me through a frantic surge of emotions resulting in me falling unconscious. Roman’s tone and constant slew of ideas was leading to me feeling a lot of unnecessary emotions. Rather than bottle them, I used them to drive myself to counter Roman’s plans. After a while I shut down, and Patton had the unfortunate luck of finding me.”

“You shouldn’t be doing this Logan. Holding all of this behind you seems to be doing more harm than anything else. If you’re wanting to get your thoughts across, especially to the rest of us, you’re allowed to use emotion to get your point across,” Patton had placed his hand on Logan’s shoulder to comfort him.

“I suppose you’re correct. I would have had better luck talking to Roman in the moment rather than trap myself here. Maybe I’ll try talking to him in the morning. Or maybe... maybe... Maybe I’ll go have a chat with him right now,” Logan’s voice took on an abrasive tone as he shrugged off Patton’s hand. Patton stumbled back onto a pile of broken glass. He turned to see Anxiety holding another red bottle.

“Anxiety what are you doing!?” Before Patton finished his statement, Anxiety smashed the bottle onto the floor. A cloud of red smoke flooded its way towards Logan.

“There’s a lot of red in this room. I figured Logan should probably release some anger if he’s really wanting to make progress here,” Anxiety smirked as he picked up another bottle.

“This isn’t right, Anxiety! You can’t just force his feelings back onto him!”

“I can and I will. And you better follow him out of here so you don’t get lost,” Anxiety gestured to the door, showing that Logan had stormed off.

“Are you not following me?” Patton asked as he ran to the door.

“I have a plan. Just make sure they don’t kill each other,” Anxiety said as he surveyed the shelves for more bottles.

Patton left, but not before giving one more worried look to the darker angel surrounded by some else’s feelings.

Roman hadn’t been in to check on Logan once. He was off in his own dreamscape, passing the time by going on quest he had already planned the outcome of. In between quest, he would stay in a castle of his design and plot out his next adventure. He was never disturbed there, and he could allow his thoughts to roam anywhere he pleased. Until he heard a knock on his door.

Roman jumped at the sound, sword immediately drawn as he carefully made his way across the room. The sound of a familiar voice stopped him though.

“Roman? Roman are you in here? It’s Logan. I feel as though we need to talk”

“Come in,” Roman answered after a short sigh of relief. He dropped his sword and began to walk towards the door.

Before Roman was halfway across the room, the door swung open aggressively to reveal Logan surrounded by a cloud of red smoke. His posture showed he was ready to fight, and he quickly lunged at Roman before he could have time to react.

“You act like you’re in control of every decision Thomas makes without considering the rest of us for one minute!” Logan’s voice was snarling as he kept the prince pinned on the floor. ‘You think Patton agrees with you when he agrees with all of us! You shut down Anxiety because he won’t feed into your ego, and you ignore any and every fact I present because it can prove you wrong!”

Logan stood up then, carry Roman to a wall and pinning him up against it.

“You believe that you’re in charge of this whole operation, and you couldn’t be more wrong. Your constant daydreams leave all of us reeling, and you present no valid reason to be in charge of our decision making.”

Roman was fighting with all his strength against Logan, but something about the other angel’s rage was leaving his efforts wasted. Roman’s eyes darted across the room to his sword, and Logan’s gaze quickly followed. Without any sense of mercy, Logan threw Roman to the floor and picked up the sword. He staggered his way back over to Roman, the blase of the sword scratching against the stone floor.

“If you aren’t going to listen to the rest of us, perhaps we’re better of without you,” Logan said as he slashed the sword along Roman’s arm. Roman’s cries echoed through the castle. Blood oozed out of the wound, staining Roman’s white tunic.

“Logan- STOP!” Patton’s voice came from the doorway as he ran in between Logan and an injured Roman.

“Get out of the way Patton. Thomas will be in a much better state if we eliminate all of his wild fantasies,” Logan seemed to be looking through Patton to determine where to strike Roman next.

“If you’re gonna hurt Roman, you’re going to have to go through me, too.”

Patton stood tall against Logan, his white wings creating a barrier to separate him from Roman. He stared Logan down without a hint of fear in his expression. Logan glared back, but his expression changed suddenly. His gaze softened, and his grip on the sword loosened until it clattered to the floor. His knees buckled, and he sank down to the floor. A blue cloud of smoke had gathered around him.

“Oh my... why did I do that?” Logan’s voice was quiet and filled with an unnatural amount of sadness. “I just wanted you to listen to us. I wanted you to realize that Thomas’ decisions should be centered on facts more than fantasy,” Logan had begun crying now; heavy tears rolling down his cheeks. “I didn’t want to hurt you. I just wanted you to listen.”

Roman carefully sat up off the floor and stared at Logan in confusion. Patton only understood part of what was happening, and decided to focus his attention on Roman’s wound. Angels heal quickly, but Patton still felt the need to clean the blood of his arm. Roman ignored Patton as he thought of what he should say.

“Logan, I... I’m not sure what to say. I didn’t know you felt that way.”

“Felt,” Logan whispered to himself. “That’s it!”

Logan then suddenly jumped up and ran out of the castle. Roman looked to Patton for answers, and Patton only shrugged in response.

Logan had sprinted back to his room, and soon found himself back at his room filled with bottles. Anxiety stood outside the room, holding a rope in his hands.

“Took you long enough,” Anxiety said without looking up.

“You did that?” Logan asked the question rhetorically.

“Somebody had to,” Anxiety had answered anyway. “But you have to do this next part.” he said as he held the rope out towards Logan.

“And what am I supposed to do with this?” Logan questioned as he ran the rope through his hands.

“Take a look,” Anxiety gestured back inside the chamber.

Ropes had been tied to the top of all the bottles. Logan looked down to notice the rope he was holding had a significant amount of length to it.

“There should be enough there to get you out of the library,” Anxiety said before Logan could ask anymore questions.

“Logically speaking, this rope will most likely do nothing,” Logan remarked as he looked through the aisle of books.”

“I’m not an idiot, it’ll work. Trust me.”

“How did you set this up so quickly? And where did you get all this rope?”

“Friends,” Anxiety said as he stared at the floor. “Look. I’m not gonna force you on this either way. It’s your decision, they’re your feelings. I’m not gonna influence you on this.”

Anxiety turned and began to work his way out of the library. Logan followed, cautiously laying the rope down behind him. The walk lasted long enough for him to toss ideas around in his head. Could feelings really be necessary for decision making? Is my disregard for them the reason we always fight over Thomas’ actions? Is this the right thing to do?

The two had finally made it out of the library, and Anxiety sat on the corner of Logan’s desk patiently.

“My part of this is done. I’ll send Patton in later to check on you. Take you time with this- there’s no rush.”

He left without another word, leaving Logan to stand alone with his thoughts. Just a few more steps and this all could change. It might even make things better. Logan felt the rope dig into his palm as he stared back down the lines of books. He sighed loudly before facing away from them. He walked forward until he felt the tension build in the rope. 

“On three,” Logan said to himself as he tightened his grip. “One... two... three!”

Logan pulled the rope back with all his strength. From deep within the library he heard the sound of glass breaking, then nothing. The nothing lasted for just a second before Logan gasped at the wall of smoke pouring before him. The last thing he remembered was the swirling cloud surrounding him.

Anxiety found Patton in Roman’s room; he was carefully wrapping a bandage around Roman’s arm.

“Patton I told you I’m fine,” the prince huffed as he pulled his arm away. “And can you explain this to me again? What’s the deal with Logan and bottles?”

“He can’t handle his own emotions so he bottles them up and puts them in a locked chamber,” Anxiety said from the doorway. “But he won’t be doing that anymore.”

“Anxiety!” Patton jumped at the sudden appearance of the other angel. “What did you do? Where’s Logan?”

“That’s why I’m here. He’s gonna need you Patton,” Anxiety said as he stepped aside from the door. Patton stood for a moment, hesitating. “Roman will be fine, and Logan needs you right now. The longer you wait, the worse it’ll be for him.”

“Worse?! What will be worse??” Patton and Roman asked the question at the same time.”

“You’ll know when you get there. Just go help him,” Anxiety gestured to the door once more.

Patton didn’t hesitate this time. He bolted out of the room, feathers ruffling as he did so.

“You could just- like- teleport or whatever,” Roman shouted after him. “And where do you think you’re going, Anxiety.”

“Back to my room. You said you were fine so I’m not waiting on you.”

The two shared a hate-filled glare before Anxiety left.

Patton had made it to Logan’s room faster than he expected. The door was shut, and he couldn’t hear anything from outside. He knocked before turning the handle and pushing the door open.

“Logan? Are you-”

Patton was cut off by the sight of Logan. He was standing up at his desk- crying, screaming, and yelling profanities. He was standing in pool of swirling smoke that was seeping into his body. His hands were digging into the wooden desk; parts of the desk had dents from his tight grip. He was without a shirt, and the muscles along his back were contracting wildly.

“Logan!” Patton ran across the room to the pained angel, trying to assess what should be done. He was slightly shocked by the realization that this is what the others witnessed years ago.

“Logan, you need to relax,” Patton suppressed his worry while trying to talk Logan down.

“I can’t,” Logan said through gritted teeth. “There’s... too many.... feelings”

“I know. I know. But you need to try. I’ve been through this, and fighting just makes it worse,” Patton figured him talking could at the very least distract Logan. “I’m here, and I’ll stay here until you’re through this. Don’t worry.”

Logan turned his head to look at Patton. Sweat was dripping from his brow and he was panting heavily. His facial expression had softened a bit though, and he reached a shaking hand out to Patton, who without question.

The two stood in silence for a bit. The only notable sound was Logan’s occasional groans when he couldn’t handle the pain.

“You’re somehow taking this better than I am,” Patton joked as he smirked to himself.

“I assure you, this is terrible regardless,” Logan smiled back to Patton before his expression shifted once more. His face went white as his knees buckled and he fell to the floor.

Patton didn’t say anything. It wasn’t like anyone could here it over Logan. He was screaming- loud, blood-curdling screams as his shook aggressively on the floor. Patton couldn’t help but let out a small gasp when the silver wings emerged from Logan’s back. They were exquisite- like a million silver daggers that reflected any and all light that hit them. They were massive- at least twice the size of Patton’s.

“Beautiful,” Patton remarked before leaning down to Logan. “How do you feel?”

Logan waited for a moment, catching his breath, before answering, “Better. Much better. It makes sense now. All of it.”

“That’s great!” Patton had returned to his chipper attitude. “I’m glad you’ve figured yourself out, Logan”

“I suppose a presentation to the others is in order,” Logan said as he slowly stood back up.

“Okay. You can show them, but then it’s straight to bed until you’re back to normal.”

“Agreed,” Logan said as he picked his shirt up off his floor. “How does this work? Putting on clothes with wings?”

“I just does,” Patton answered enthusiastically. “I honestly have no idea. The wings just... work around the clothes I guess.”

“Alright then,” Logan was too tired to question any further as he got dressed and walked towards the door. Patton quickly followed.

Roman still sat in his room, fiddling with the bandage around his arm. The wound had almost completely healed, but he knew Patton would be upset if he took it off early. He didn’t question the knock on the door as he watched it swing open to reveal an eccentric Patton and a slightly uncomfortable Logan.

“Okay I have two things to say,” Roman said as he jumped off his bed. “Firstly, nice wings. Very fitting for you. Second, would you care to explain this?” He made a flamboyant gesture to his bandage.

“Firstly, thank you for the complement. Second, I apologize for causing you harm. I wasn’t in full control of my emotions, but I assure you that is in the past and will not be brought into the future.”

“...Okay fine. I forgive you because I’ve honestly done worse to myself. So, what do they mean? Those shiny new feathers.”

“I was under the impression that decision making revolved exclusively around knowledge and known fact. I disregarded any emotions I felt when facing a difficult decision. It took some realizations for me to understand that feelings aren’t completely unnecessary, and I’ve learned I can make decisions better if they are influenced by emotion.”

“That’s... that’s really interesting, Logan,” Roman said in stunned amazement. “So then. About Thomas’ going to college?”

“I still don’t view theater as the best major for Thomas, but we don’t have to dismiss it completely,” Logan paused for a moment, looking between Patton and Roman. They lights in their eyes were so filled with hope. “Once I’m feeling a bit better, you and I can formulate a proper plan that satisfies both of us.”

“Yes!!” Roman jumped up and down before reaching over to hug Logan.

“You go get some rest, Logan,” Patton said as he gave Logan a gentle pat on the shoulder. “I wanna check on Roman’s arm.

“Should I find Anxiety and tell him the news?” Logan asked before leaving Roman’s room.

“I mean, if you want to,” Patton answered without turning to look back. “I’m sure he knows but you can look for him if you want.”

Logan stepped out of Roman’s room, and bumped into Anxiety as soon as he turned the corner.

“Cool,” Anxiety noted as he tilted left and right to examine Logan’s wings.

Logan didn’t respond, but instead brought Anxiety into a hug. The two rarely shared hugs, but neither of them questioned the other at this time. “Thank you,” Logan whispered.

“Well I mean, it’s my fault you were bottling things in the first place,” Anxiety shrugged.

“True, but you helped stop me,” Logan placed a hand on Anxiety’s shoulder. “And I’m grateful for that.”

“Go get some rest before Patton gets mad,” Anxiety said like Logan’s last comment hadn’t phased him.

“I will. Have a good rest of your day, Anxiety.”

Logan disappeared at that moment. He clearly wanted to master his wings as soon as possible despite his exhaustion.

Anxiety stood by himself in the hall for a bit. He stared at the floor for a moment before murmuring to himself.

“Two down. Two more to go.”


	6. Chapter 6

With half of Thomas’ guardian angels now having earned their wings, there was some unnerving expectations for the remaining two to receive theirs at any moment. Although Anxiety didn’t seem all too interested in the inevitable, Roman seemed a little too eager to earn his wings. He had become a bit of a nuisance to the others with his constant questioning.

“I just don’t understand it,” Roman pouted while sitting in Patton’s room. “I’ve proven myself worthy of guarding Thomas a million times over. How is it that I’m the only one of you without wings?”

“Well,” Patton paused as he determined what to day to Roman. His ego is so difficult to manage at times. “It’s more than just proving worth. Logan and I both had to realize important things about ourselves before getting our wings. And you aren’t the only one without them. Anxiety hasn’t gotten his either.”

“Don’t mention the Incredible Sulk around me. I’d prefer to ignore him for the time being,” Roman clearly had held quite a grudge against all of Anxiety’s recent actions.

“You can’t stay mad at him forever, Roman. He’s just doing his job like the rest of us.” Patton had always hated the way Roman and Anxiety disliked each other. “I’m sure you would understand him better if you weren’t so rude to him.”

“I’m just letting him know the feeling is mutual. He’s so rude to everyone, Patton,” Roman said without an edge of mercy. “I don’t understand how you and Logan tolerate him.”

“Logan sees the value of Thomas having anxiety. He thinks that Thomas may be in a more reckless state of living if Anxiety wasn’t keeping an eye on things. And I just know that you are all here for a reason.” Patton thought for a moment, choosing his next words carefully. “I don’t claim to understand everything Anxiety provides for Thomas, and I know he can be a bit difficult at times, but he is still one of us.”

“I’m tired of talking about him. Let’s get back to me,” Roman said as he manifested a mirror to fix his hair. “I still don’t see why I don’t have wings. I’ve contributed so much for Thomas. The others just need to see that-”

“The others don’t really like you, Roman,” Patton said as he shifted uncomfortably on his bed. “You are kinda rude to them, and you never treat them like valued parts of Thomas. You’re always mad at Anxiety, even when he hasn’t done anything, and you tend to ignore Logan’s facts just because they go against your ideas.”

“Why would you say that, Patton?” The pain in Roman’s voice made Patton’s heart break.

“It’s the truth, Roman. Sometimes the truth hurts, but it needs to be said. That’s how I got my wings in the first place. Honesty is a part of myself I needed to accept because lying is wrong, even if it’s to protect someone.”

“Whatever,” Roman said as he left the room, clearly fuming with anger.

Roman’s dreamspace was controlled by his thoughts, but sometimes it would develop without his full control. He had entered what appeared to be a forest, filled with thick trees he could barely see through. After a few minutes of walking, he came across a clearing. In the center of it was a series of mirrors arranged in a half-circle. Roman approached them with caution, but was quickly drawn in by the sight of his own reflection.

The Roman in the mirror somehow appeared much more regal than Roman was at present. His white tunic was now accented with a vibrant red sash, his black boots traded in for a fresh a pair with brown leather. His sword even seemed upgraded with a fresh scabbard around his waist. But the most noteworthy feature was that the mirror-Roman had a set of wings. They were massive, with bright red feathers that sparkled in the light.

“Wow,” Roman whispered to himself in amazement.

“Too bad it’ll never be real.”

The voice shocked Roman as he turned to the mirror next to him. In it stood the image of Anxiety, or at least Roman’s interpretation of Anxiety. He stood taller than the real Anxiety, and wore a flowing black cloak that swept the ground rather than his plain black sweater. Even though the angels had a similar resemblance to Thomas, the mirrored Anxiety had sunken eyes and defined cheek bones. He was quite terrifying to look at.

“What did you say?” Roman questioned the figment as if it was really Anxiety standing before him.

“You heard me.” ‘Anxiety’s’ voice was deeper and more distorted than it was in reality. “You’ll never become that dazzling prince with the red wings. That’s a fantasy, and most of your fantasies fall flat.”

“You’re wrong!” Roman exclaimed as he charged towards the mirror. He stopped short as another voice began to speak.

“I do believe he is correct.”

This time it was Logan’s voice ringing from the mirror opposite to ‘Anxiety’. He was dressed like a stereotypical nerd from film. His glasses had a thicker rim, and he wore a white button-up shirt with red suspenders. He looked scrawny, and was notably shorter than the real Logan. He lacked his wings in this form, but Roman didn’t care to notice.

“How could you agree with him?!” There was a strange sense of desperation in Roman’s voice. “I’ll get my wings, and you’ll all appreciate what I do for Thomas.”

“Oh, so then you’ve figured out what you do for Thomas?” ‘Logan’ asked while pushing up his glasses. “Please, do tell.”

“I-I…”

“You don’t know. Because you haven’t proven anything to any of us.”

Now it was Patton standing in place of the mirrored Roman. The mirror had extended to be at the least 10-feet tall. ‘Patton’ stood in his normal attire, but his wings were taking on a dark and sinister shade.

“Patton. You can’t be agreeing with them too.” Roman felt the tears welling up in his eyes.

“But it’s the truth Roman,” ‘Patton’s’ voice sounded overly-patronizing as he spoke. “You’re so caught up in yourself that don’t do anything positive for Thomas, or us.”

“Stop it!” Roman was crying now, cold tears of hate rolling down his face. “I do have purpose, and I know you’re all wrong!”

“It’s three against one, Roman,” ‘Anxiety’ said in a cold tone. “It’s better you just accept it now so we can move on without you.”

That was the last straw for Roman. He charged at the mirror that housed Anxiety a furiously smashed it with his sword. Broken glass was scattered around the Prince’s feet.

“Fragile, just like your ego,” ‘Logan spoke with the same tone as ‘Anxiety’.

Roman charged once more, shattering the second mirror. He slammed his shoulder directly into its center. Blood and glass now appeared all around Roman. It seemed to be falling in slow-motion. Roman couldn’t see much through his tears, but he had started to feel a wave of fatigue wash over him. There were voices echoing in his head, but he couldn’t make out what they were saying. He slashed his sword wildly as he collapsed to the ground. 

The last thing he remembered was the feeling of blood soak into his tunic.

Roman awoke back in his bed, and ice pack on his head and several bandages wrapped around his arms and chest. Patton sat in a chair across the room, soundly asleep.

“Patton?” Roman half whispered, half shouted the question. It was enough to wake Patton, though.

“Oh thank goodness. You really had me worried, kiddo,” Patton said as he made his way across the room.

“What… what happened?” Roman’s mind was having a hard time recalling the events that brought him back to his bedroom.

“You had left my room, I figured to go blow off steam. You were gone for hours though. I was getting worried, so I went into the dreamspace to check on you.” Patton hesitated to continue. “You were in the middle of a field, laying on your back. You were surrounded by broken glass, and it was cutting you up really bad. You were shouting- it sounded like you were shouting to one of the others. There was so much blood, and I didn’t think it was smart to leave you there. So I pulled you out of the glass and brought you back here.”

“I’m sorry you had to see that Patton,” Roman said solemnly as he fiddled with the fringe on his blanket. “I sometimes forget what is and isn’t real when I’m in there. It hasn’t been that bad for a while, but I was just a little caught up in my emotions is all.”

“What got you so caught up?” Patton asked as he sat on the edge of Roman’s bed.

“I was… talking to you and the others. But you were different. You were saying all these negative things about how I don’t help Thomas and that you’re all better off without me here.” Roman’s voice was getting choked up as more tears welled up in his eyes.

“Oh, Roman.” Patton gently placed a hand on Roman’s shoulder. “It sounds like they were telling the truth. I mean, we all know the only reason you’re so rude is because you deflect your insecurities and force them onto Logan and Anxiety. You only keep me in close regards because I’m trustworthy. You spend so much time in your dreamspace because you know we all hate you in reality.”

“No! NonononoNONONONONO!” More tears were falling down Roman’s face. “It’s not true!”

“Of course it’s true,” Patton continued to speak in a fatherly tone. “If it wasn’t true, you wouldn’t be crying and trying to deny it.”

Suddenly, Patton broke into a laugh. A deep, maniacal laugh echoed in Roman’s ears. From the shadows of Roman’s room, Anxiety and Logan emerged, laughing with the same menacing laugh. Roman had started screaming now, and was attempting to run out of the room. But something was holding him down in his bed. He just kept screaming, even after his voice felt worn out and raw. His screaming and the others’ laughter echoed louder and louder as the walls of his room closed in…

Roman bolted upright in his bed. He was drenched in sweat, and his hair was matted wildly around his face. He could taste the salt of tears on his lips. It was morning from what he could gather, but he had no clue if what he was experiencing was real. He’d had these nightmares three days in a row now. Once or twice a week he was used to, but never so many days consecutively. He worked hard to hide it from the others, but it got more difficult every day. He cleaned himself up as well as he could and left his room, staying cautious in case one of the others got too curious.

He sat down at the breakfast table, trying his best to keep calm. ‘It wasn’t real. What you heard wasn’t real. This might not even be real’ Roman kept those thoughts in his head as he tried to maintain his composure.


	7. Chapter 7

It had been a few weeks since Roman had lost touch with reality. He hadn’t calmed down at all, and it was beginning to take a serious toll on him. He was getting less and less sleep, and he was cautious about everything. His paranoia was driving him to a point was he was always ready to fight someone. He tried his best to keep the others from noticing that something was wrong, but it was becoming unbelievably difficult.

Unfortunately for Roman’s luck, Anxiety was the first one to mention his change in behavior and appearance.

“You alright, man? You look like you’re about to throw up.”

“I’m fine, Anxiety. Mind your own business.” Despite Roman’s best efforts, he did look quite terrible.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Patton asked from the kitchen. “You’ve seemed pretty distant for the past couple of weeks. And you barely said a word to any of us at dinner last night.”

“I said I’m fine!” Roman was quite easy to agitate when he went without sleep.

“But you don’t look fine,” Anxiety noted. “You look like me when I don’t sleep. And you’re clearly annoyed by something.”

“Are you sleeping, Roman?” Patton asked as he sat down next to the prince, his brow raised in concern.

Roman looked around the room to see that even that Logan looked concerned about his well being. He gulped as he tried to think of something to say.

“I... I.... no.” Roman’s voice had a twinge of guilt in it. “I don’t remember much from the past month or so. I’ve been feeling this overwhelming sense of dread, and I can’t bring myself to sleep anymore. My imagination seems to be getting out of hand. I’ve been hearing things that may have been true, or- or maybe they were all lies. It’s all left me confused and angry, and I occasionally black out and forget things after a while. If I’m being completely honest, I’m not sure if this is real or not.” The words poured out as if Roman had been planning to say them for quite some time.

Anxiety’s eyes had gone wide. Patton looked like he was going to cry. Logan had shut the book h was reading and came over to sit with the others.

“I need details, Roman.” Logan spoke as he pulled up a chair to the other side of Roman. “Something to help explain what might have brought this on.”

“I don’t have to tell you anything!” Roman shouted, a rage suddenly filling his voice. “You’re probably just another illusion trying to fill my head with more lies!”

“Roman, calm down. We just want to help you.” Patton reached out to place a hand on Roman’s shoulder.

“Don’t touch me!” Roman jumped up and ran to the other side of the room. “You’re just going to hurt me like you did the last time!”

“Take it easy, Princey,” Anxiety said as he tried to pull off a comforting tone. “This is real. We all swear it. No one here is gonna lie to you or try to hurt you.”

“That’s just like you to say! You just want my mind weak so you can hurt me again!” Roman face was glistening wet with tears.

The other three angels all sat in shock, sharing conflicted expressions. Not a single one of them had seen the prince in such a state before, and they weren’t sure how to help him. Roman’s head was swimming, and his vision was starting to blur. His lack of sleep was doing more damage to him than he thought. He saw the distorted figures of the others approach him just as he felt his knees give out.

“Shit!” Anxiety shouted as he rushed to Roman, grabbing him just before his head hit the floor,

Anxiety was now holding Roman bridal style, his own knees shaking slightly from the prince’s weight. Without a word, he began walking down the hall to take Roman to his room. Patton and Logan followed, and Patton was silently shedding tears as he walked.

Rather than take Roman to his bedroom, Anxiety stopped at the door to the dreamspace instead.

“Why aren’t you taking him to bed?” Logan inquired. “He needs to rest.”

“He can rest when he’s dead. I want to test a theory. Now open the door.”

Patton attempted to speak, “Anxiety I don’t think that-”

“I said open the goddamn door!” Anxiety commanded.

Seeing that there was no point in trying to object him, Logan followed the command and followed Anxiety into the dreamspace. Patton stood outside hesitating, but followed the others in anyway. Despite his fear of Anxiety’s actions, he didn’t want to leave Roman’s side.

Anxiety gently put Roman on the floor of the lush forest they were in and waited for anything to happen. Logan stood at a distance from them with Patton tucked under his arm. Logan wasn’t the best with comforting others, but he didn’t want to test his luck with Anxiety. They all waited with baited breath for Roman to change anything in the space.

“C’mon, Roman,” Anxiety said longingly as he nudged the prince’s shoulder.

As if on cue, Walls appeared around Anxiety and Roman- cutting them off from Logan and Patton. Anxiety could faintly hear Patton’s screams and Logan furiously banging on the walls outside. Then he and Roman were trapped in an unending silence.

Roman’s eyes fluttered open before he jumped to his feet in a panic. He look around to find Anxiety standing in a corner, scratching at the wall. The room was dimly lit which had caused Anxiety’s shadow to cast strange figures around the small space. Roman immediately refused to believe that what his was seeing was real though, and he dove at Anxiety and pushed him to the floor.

“Roman! What the fuck are you doing?” Anxiety struggled to speak as Roman caught him in a headlock.

“Shut up you trickster!” Roman snarled into Anxiety’s ear. “I know you set up this trick just to hurt me again!”

“Roman... this isn’t... a trick,” Anxiety’s face was beginning to redden as he lost his ability to breathe.

“You’re lying!”

“I’m... not... lying... This is real!”

“This... this is real?” Roman looked down at Anxiety to see that he was about to fall unconscious. He quickly let go of the smaller angel.

“That’s what we’ve been saying,” Anxiety gasped as he crawled away from Roman. “You passed out and I brought you to the dreamspace and then these walls came up around us and now were trapped.”

“I don’t think these are walls.” Roman seemed to only hear half of what Anxiety had said. He reached out pressed his hands against the edges of the room.

With the lightest touch from Roman, the walls melted away to reveal mirrors. Roman let out a small scream and jumped back in shock before meeting Anxiety’s confused look.

“Mirrors?” Anxiety questioned as he pushed against the cool glass. “You’re not focusing on a way out if here? Geez, you really are vain if you’re manifesting mirrors in here.”

“It’s what’s inside the mirror that’s important,” Roman scoffed as he stared wide-eyed at the reflections of himself and Anxiety.

“Your reflection?”

“No! Well, yes, but it’s more like your reflection and the others.”

“The others aren’t here,” Anxiety noted. “And I can only see our reflections.”

“Are they-- do they look normal to you?” Roman asked as he looked over his own reflection with a worried look.

“Yeah. Why? Are you seeing something different?” Anxiety took a cautious step towards Roman.

“Yeah... it’s different. I’ll show you.” Roman reached out a hand to Anxiety’s face; preparing to share his thoughts with the other angel.

“OW!”

The slightest touch on Anxiety had left a burn on Roman’s hand. It was as if the smaller angel’s entire being was made of hot coals. Anxiety had let out a scream himself, despite feeling no pain.

“What the hell did you do to me?” Roman shouted as he examined his hand.

“I didn’t do anything! I think it’s just your anxiety, Roman,” Anxiety said as he stepped away from Roman. “You’re shaking and sweating, and I think it’s your nerves keeping you from being able to touch me.”

“That doesn’t make sense,” Roman said as he examined the wound on his hand.

“If you or the others get too worried about something, it keeps you from interacting with me,” Anxiety began to explain. “You wouldn’t know that because you don’t worry much, but I hurt Patton and Logan more than I’ll admit. Right now, you’re just really anxious, so you can’t share your thoughts with me.”

“So.... so how are you supposed to see what I’m seeing?”

“Just explain it,” Anxiety said as he stood near a corner. The small space was really starting to make me uncomfortable.

“Okay. Well, I can see you. But you look different. Your face is more defined, and your’re wearing a cloak. You keep laughing at me.”

“Why would I be laughing?” Anxiety wondered exactly what Roman was seeing as he stared at his own reflection.

“Because you’re talking about me,” Roman said as he looked around the room. “All of you are.”

“You can see Logan and Patton in here, too?”

“Yes. It’s always you three. You always shut me down. Tell me I’m worthless. That I’m useless to Thomas. Make me into nothing.” Tears were forming at the corners of Roman’s eyes.

“So, what do you do about it?” Anxiety didn’t want to move closer to Roman out of fear he would be strangled again.

“In the moment, nothing. But once I leave, I’m cautious. I ignore Logan’s facts, I treat you like shit, I seek out the real Patton for validation. I put as much positive attention on myself as possible so I don’t think about what happens in here.” Roman’s voice was starting to quiver. “And now... now I’m trapped in here. With you. And I don’t even know if the ‘you’ I’m talking to is real.”

“Roman, you need to calm down.” Anxiety tried to stay calm himself, but his voice was becoming deep and distorted in the taller angel’s ears.

“Calm?! How can I stay calm? We’re alone in here!!” Roman’s body was shaking violently as he spoke. “We’re alone, and Patton and Logan are on the other side of these walls, and there’s no way they can help us!! And you’re probably just shutting me down so I don’t trust any of you!!!”

“Roman. Stop.” Anxiety looked around to see the light of the room dimming significantly. “You need to calm down. It’s gonna be worse if you let your nerves get to you.”

Roman turned to look back at Anxiety, when suddenly an additional wall split the room in half, separating the two angels. It wasn’t a wall though. It was a mirror. In each mirror there was a Roman standing tall- glaring at the real Roman. Outside of the mirror room, Anxiety was making feeble attempts to break down the walls.

Roman stood in a state of shock as the image on the mirrors all became himself. But not the version of himself with the red wings and matching sash. It was all copies of Roman in his current state. Roman spun in circles to see the twisted versions of himself smiling and preparing to taunt him.

The other ‘Romans’ all cackled at his misery.

“He really thinks he can let go of his ego? Of us?”

“I know. I can’t imagine how long it takes until he just gives up.”

“Well, at least he knows none of the others really care about him.”

“He should stop trying to impress them and just let them rule Thomas’ life.”

“It be better if he just left, rather than the others deal with him trying to murder them all for faking concern.”

“Roman!! Whatever you’re seeing- it isn’t real!” Anxiety was trying to sound reassuring despite having no clue what was happening on the other side of those walls.

On Anxiety’s side of the walls, everything had become transparent. He could see in front of him to watch as Roman shouted and struggled to get a hold of what was real. As he looked left and right, he found Patton sitting in the grass just outside the walls. Tears stained his face as he stared blankly, waiting for the box to open. Logan was examining every inch of the enclosure before him, trying to see if there was any way to release the others. 

“Patton!! Logan!!” Anxiety called out and frantically waved to them, but they didn’t seem to be able to see or hear him. He decided to turn his attention back to Roman then.

“Roman!” Anxiety cried as he pounded his fist on the wall separating him from the exasperated prince. It seemed that Roman couldn’t hear him either.

Roman was now throwing himself into the mirrors- pounding his fists wildly in pitiful attempts to destroy their images.

“Shit. He’s not gonna make it in there.” Anxiety began running his inner monologue out loud. “Whatever he’s hearing is destroying him. If he keeps at this, he’ll drive himself insane. There’s gotta be some way to get through to him. Something that can-”

Anxiety was cut short as he noticed the steam fogging up the mirror between him and Roman. The image of the prince had become clouded, and now Anxiety really started to worry.

“Fuck! Fuckfuckfuck.” Anxiety thought back all those years ago- to the things Logan had read to him and the others. “His body temperature is rising, he’s shaking, he’s expelling all this information he’s kept hidden from us for so long. Goddammit, Roman!”

Anxiety slapped his hand against the glass and noticed that it left a palm print behind it. He could see Roman turn towards the changed image, his face red and his whole body shivering.

“He can see that?” Anxiety looked down at his hands and got an idea.

He leaned forward, trying to think of how to write his message backwards. He extended his finger to the glass and carefully began to write.

The echoing laughter was enough to send Roman into a fit of tears. He had lost the images of himself long ago, but the voices still remained. He tried to convince himself that what the voices were saying were just lies, but there was too much happening for him to focus.

Roman stared wide-eyed at the hand print on the wall as he watched words appear in the fog before him.

“Ro, calm down. Breathe. In 4, hold 7, out 8″

He knew it was Anxiety messaging him. He felt glad to know he was there- that he was really there. He closed his eyes before following the exercise Anxiety had presented him. Although it did seem to be working some, there was no physical change around him. Until something managed to get through to him.

“... you’re important, Ro. You matter to us and to Thomas.”

Roman froze as a familiar voice broke through his madness.

“Anxiety?” Roman’s voice was scratchy and hard to hear.

“Yeah. I’m right here.”

The fog had cleared enough for Roman to see around him again. The images in the mirrors were now replaced with that of Anxiety. Each one was dressed like the real Anxiety, not the darkened illusion from Roman’s imagination.

“Whatever you were hearing, it isn’t true. It’s just what your head wants you to believe. But you can’t let it control you. That fear, that insecurity, it’ll ruin you if you let it. You can’t let it become a part of you. The lies you’re hearing are just that- lies.” Anxiety sounded as if he’d said some of these things to himself before. “Logan and I, we both understand your worth. We hope you can see ours, too. I get that you’re self-obsessed and you push your issues out onto us, but it doesn’t have to be that way. We can help you. We are willing to help you. We love you.”

Roman was crying for a different reason now. His voice was still extremely shaky. “I didn’t know you thought like that, Anxiety. I-I wish I knew how to stop this. I’m scaring myself with how far my mind has taken me. And the way I treat you and Logan- it’s not right. I’ve been so caught up in myself, even before I started helping Thomas. And after all this time where I thought I was okay, where I thought these ideas would just pass... it’s finally starting to ruin me. I wish I knew some way to fix this.”

“You could start by calming down again,” Anxiety suggested. “Things are getting kinda scary out here.”

Anxiety could hear Roman’s breathing slowly steadying, but there was hardly a notable change. The lights in the room remained dim, and they seemed to be getting darker. Cracks were beginning to form in the mirrors, and it felt like the whole building had started shaking.

“UH-oh....” The prince’s breathing had once again become more rapid, and suddenly it was cut short.

“Roman!” Anxiety’s eyes were shot wide as he saw all of the color drain from Roman’s face.

The walls around Roman, and the one separating him and Anxiety from Patton and Logan, had disappeared. Patton and Logan immediately ran in to join Anxiety, but there wasn’t anything they could do as they were suddenly engulfed in darkness. The fear surrounding each of them was unbearable.

The four angels all came into view of each other just in time for Patton, Logan, and Anxiety to see Roman collapse to the ground.


	8. Chapter 8

The rain falling around the angels made it almost impossible for them to spot the crumpled figure of Roman on the ground. His whole body had gone rigid, and he was loudly grunting and groaning. Patton’s single moment of relief was cut off as he quickly fell into another fit of tears. Logan stared between Anxiety and Roman, watching as the smaller angel tried to get a hold of the situation.

“Explain… please.” Logan tried to remain stoic, but he couldn’t hide the fear in his voice.

“He’s an idiot, and we need to get him out of here,” Anxiety said as he walked up to Patton and tucked him under his arm. “Logan, you carry him back to his bedroom. I’ll explain more later.”

Logan didn’t object. The sudden rainfall brought on by Roman’s influx of negative thoughts, plus the worry covering Patton’s face made an argument unnecessary. He looked down at Roman and did his best to carefully pick him up. But even the slightest touch seemed to cause Roman pain, and it felt as if his entire body was being burnt.

Logan placed Roman in his bed, laying him on his side since he wouldn’t move out of the fetal position. Roman was barely breathing properly, and his eyes were furiously fluttering open and shut. To see the prince in such a state of weakness nearly brought tears to Logan’s eyes. Anxiety came racing in a few moments later.

“I put Patton in his room. I figured the happy memories would keep him distracted for a while.” He was out of breath from making the run back to Roman’s room.

“He won’t move and I can’t tell if he’s breathing,” Logan said as he moved away from Roman’s bed. “Explain how this happened.”

“In the dreamspace, there were all these mirrors. And I couldn’t see what Roman was seeing, but he told me he was seeing us. But like- different versions of us. Versions that tease him and make him feel useless. My best guess is, Roman hides his insecurities, and him finally admitting to it rather than deject it brought him here. I couldn’t have stopped it even if I tried.”

“Are you meaning to tell me that Roman is receiving his wings?” Logan glanced back at the miserable sight of the prince.

“That’s the best guess I got,” Anxiety said as he moved closer to Roman’s side. “You should have seen him, Logan. Shaking, screaming, venting all of this stuff to me. I’d never seen him like that before.”

“But I don’t understand. Patton broke down screaming and crying from pain and I- well I experienced outburst of my own. Roman’s so big on dramatics, I don’t understand why he’s just curled up in a ball.”

“Didn’t that book say this could take hours or it could take days?” Anxiety questioned as he looked back to Logan. “Maybe his body is just taking longer than yours or Patton’s. I mean, everything I’m saying is a guess, but we can’t assume this runs the same way for all of us.”

“I suppose there may simply be a delay for Roman.” Logan furrowed his brow, trying to formulate an idea. “I think the best thing to do is put Roman on an hourly watch. One of us stays in here monitoring him, and we call upon the others when a significant change has occurred. We try to function as normal and trade shifts when necessary.”

“Okay. But what about Patton? There’s no way he can stand being alone with Roman when they’re both in such awful states. He shouldn’t be alone either.”

Logan pushed his glasses further up on his face. “Then one of us will stay with each of them full-time. You stay with Patton for now. Try your best to keep yourselves calm. I want to stay here to record observations. If Roman presents any notable change, you’ll be the first one I notify.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Anxiety said in a flat tone. He made his way over to the door and gave one last glance into the room before exiting. It was a strange sight to behold- a prince looking more like a child and a set of silver wings trying to protect him.

Roman never imagines pain. Not severe pain anyway. He refuses to. When in his dreamspace, he’s indestructible. Nothing can really hurt him there. And any pain he feels in the real world is minor and passes within a few minutes.

Roman has never felt a pain like this before. The burn on his hand was nothing compared to the fire burning him from the inside. All of his muscles felt like they were stretched far beyond their limits, and his bones felt like they were breaking over and over. He wanted the scream, but he somehow couldn’t find the strength to breathe.

Breathe.

It was the first coherent thought to pass through his mind. Roman could feel the tightness in his chest, and he tried his best to pull in any amount of air. The pain that came from his lungs expanding was incomparable. Roman was set into a fit of coughing and sputtering for air, which only caused him more pain. The bile rising in his throat wasn’t helping his cause. His diaphragm was contracting wildly, and soon he was choking on his own vomit.

Hands reached around Roman’s body. It continued to hurt him, but he was too disoriented to protest. He opened his eyes enough to make out the shape of Logan attempting to help him. A cold hand swept across his mouth, and another gently cradled the back of his neck.

“Roman, I understand that what you’re feeling is extremely unpleasant, but you must steady yourself.” It was hard to hear Logan through all the ringing in Roman’s ears.

Logan brushed hair off of Roman’s face, unsure of any way he could help. He could feel Roman’s breathing, and although it was still a bit sporadic, he had at least stopped vomiting. Logan considered that to be progress, and he carefully placed Roman back on his side.

“I’m going to gather a few things for you,” Logan said as he caressed Roman’s shaking shoulders. “I’ll only be gone for a brief moment.”

Roman let out a small moan in response, his eyes turning up to meet Logan’s in an understanding manner. Logan closed his eyes and focused on where he would need to go to get what he needed, and he suddenly disappeared. Roman was now left alone, shuddering and crying to himself.

Patton’s room is safe and filled with light. He holds on to many fond memories there, and it’s a good place for the others to go when they want to calm down. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, looking through a photo album filled with images of the other angels. He couldn’t help but smile at the way Logan’s brow furrowed while he read, and how Anxiety always tried to turn his face from the camera. It always lifted his mood to see the extravagant poses Roman would strike whenever the camera was brought out. He smiled fondly as he looked through all the joyous times the angels shared together.

A small knock on his door pulled him away from his memories.

“Patton? It’s me- it’s Anxiety. Can I come in?”

Patton dropped the photo album on the floor and raced over to his door. He swung it open and immediately threw himself into Anxiety’s arms. Loud, heavy sobs racked through his entire body as Anxiety held the father figure in his arms. Patton pulled back just enough to get a good look at the smaller angel.

“How is he? How’s Roman? Is he okay? Is he still… is he alive? What happened?” The questions were coming so fast it was hard for Anxiety to keep up with them.

“Come sit down,” Anxiety pleaded as he took Patton by the hand and led him back to his bed. He sat in silence for a moment before explain the situation. “Roman is with Logan now. When I left, he was still unconscious. A lot of stuff went down in the dreamspace that I’d rather not talk about again. It was just- bad. Logan and I figured that Roman’s probably getting his wings, but his body is reacting differently from yours and Logan’s. Logan is going to stay with Roman until things are better, and he’ll give us updates whenever he can.”

“Is Roman going to be okay?” Patton’s big blue eyes were still filled with tears. Anxiety knew he couldn’t lie to him. That would only make things worse.

“I don’t know Patton,” Anxiety said glumly as he traced circles on the back of Patton’s hand. “I’m trying not to think about what’s happening to him, but he looked really bad. I’ve never seen him look so… small before. I wanna tell you that Logan has it all worked out and it’ll be okay, but I really don’t know.”

Patton leaned forward as another wave of fear washed over him. Anxiety gently rubbed his back, trying his best to not allow his own fear to get a hold of him. He looked at the clock on the wall and saw it was nearing midnight.

“It’s getting late, Patton. Why don’t we try and get some sleep? I’ll stay in here, if that’s what you want.”

Patton gave a small nod in response before standing away from the bed. The two angels adjusted the covers and slid into bed together. Anxiety was flat on his back while Patton curled up on his chest. Anxiety carefully slid his arms under Patton’s soft wings and pulled him into a comforting embrace. After a while, Patton had quietly drifted off to sleep. Anxiety was left with his mind racing, unable to sleep, making constellations out of the glow-in-the-dark star stickers on the ceiling.

Logan returned to Roman’s room with a box of assorted items: painkillers, ice packs, towels, and a few blankets for himself. He nearly dropped everything when he got a look at Roman.

The larger angel was somehow standing, and making feeble attempts to walk across the room. The front of his sweat-soaked tunic was stained with more vomit, and he looked like he could collapse again at any moment.

“Roman, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Logan set the box on the floor and rushed over to the foolish royal. “Are you trying to get yourself killed?!”

“I just want-”

Rather than finish his statement, Roman fell forward into Logan’s arms. The full weight of the prince nearly brought Logan to his knees. As Logan fumbled to support Roman and bring him back to bed, he noticed something truly alarming. Two distinct and bright red lines were forming along Roman’s back.

“Blood,” Logan noted as the red marks began to wet his palms. “He’s bleeding.”

Logan decided then to place Roman on the floor rather than back in bed. He removed his tunic and remarked the unusual sight before him. Emerging from the bleeding ravines in Roman’s back were feathers- matted and jutting out in all directions. The muscles along Roman’s back were strained, and parts of his torso were bruised.

“There must be someway to fix this,” Logan thought frantically. Ever since he had gotten his own wings, he has read as much as he could about them in preparation for times like this. But nothing he had read gave him clear instructions on how to help an angel in this degree of distress.

Logan reached a hesitant hand towards Roman unnaturally still body, and noticed how the slightest touch seemed to ease his tensions. Little by little, trying his best to ignore the blood, Logan massaged the prince’s back. As soon as he would move away, though, the muscles would immediately begin straining again. Logan kept at it until his hands ached to the bone, and he knew he would be in for a rough night.

Anxiety hadn’t gotten any sleep during the night. Something in the back of his mind was nagging for him to go to Roman. When he couldn’t handle not knowing what was happening, he slipped out from under Patton and exit his room unnoticed. The entire trek back to Roman’s room was filling him with guilt. Anxiety felt like he should be held responsible. For everything.

Anxiety turned the corner to Roman’s door and was met with the sight of Logan looking worse than himself. Blood was staining his hands as he worked his way along the muscles on Roman’s back. Roman was face-down on the carpet, blood still flowing from the gashes that were destroying him. A hideous shape that must have been a wing was protruding from his body.

“Holy fucking shit,” Anxiety whispered as he knelt down by Logan. “Take a break. Please. You look like shit.”

“I feel like shit,” Logan retorted without looking up. “If I move away from him, his body will seize up again.”

“Is he- are you sure that…. what if he’s-”

“I swear if you think he’s dying I’ll make sure it’s the last thing you say!” Logan looked up at Anxiety with bloodshot eyes. Lack of sleep often brought out the angel’s anger.

“I’m not saying that!” Anxiety tried to backpedal his statements. “But how long has he been out?”

“Since midnight,” Logan frustratingly looked at the mess that had become Roman. “He was trying to walk, to get something, and he just collapsed. He’s still breathing, and the bleeding has slowed a bit, but I’m not sure how much more he can take.”

Just then Roman’s body twisted in unnatural ways as he let out cries of an unknown magnitude. Anxiety covered his ears and turned away while Logan looked out in bewilderment. Patton appeared out of nowhere, still bleary-eyed from suddenly awakening.

“Roman!” Patton cried out as he leaped forward to try and aid his friend. He stopped short when Roman spat blood in his direction.

Anxiety saw the tears forming in Patton’s eyes and pulled him into a tight embrace. He turned Patton away from the sight of Roman as he forced himself to look on. Logan was kneeling in front of Roman, trying and failing to calm him down. Tears were filling everyone’s eyes at the fear of the unknown.

Roman continued to convulse on the floor as Logan and Anxiety looked on. His screams always lead to another round of sobs leaving Patton. The vicious cycle seemed unending as the minutes stretched into hours. Progress was slowly being made as Roman’s wings pulled themselves out of his body at an agonizing rate.

Patton was sitting cross-legged on the floor with his head on Anxiety’s shoulder. Logan still sat inches away from Roman- never flinching when his body twisted in unusual ways or when more blood flew in his direction. Roman’s screams had melted into a sort of white noise, and none of the others seemed all that affected by it. Their only goal now was to be there for Roman.

It took Logan a full minute to realize Roman had stopped screaming. He was staring into his untouched cup of coffee when he noticed how still the air had become. Anxiety and Patton were still in each other’s arms- Anxiety was whispering reassurances into Patton’s ear. Logan set down his mug and crawled towards a very still Roman.

“Roman?” Logan’s voice was filled with fatigue. Patton and Anxiety stirred at the sudden realization that the prince had stopped screaming. All three of them had now moved to get a better look at the aftermath.

Roman was surrounded by a pool of blood. The once cream-colored carpet now had a large red oval staining its fibers. Roman still remained face-down on the floor, with his head turned to his left. Blood, sweat, and tears covered the poor angel’s face. Logan was too caught up in wanting to help Roman, he didn’t even notice the wings sprawled out behind him.

They were massive- notably larger than Logan’s. Their color was hard to distinguish because it was starting to get dark again.

“Are they red?” Patton asked as he stared in shock.

“No.” Anxiety hadn’t moved closer to Roman, but he knew the truth. “The feathers are soaked through with blood.”

“Is he breathing?” Patton couldn’t help but feel how still the room felt.

“No,” Logan said as he saw that Roman wasn’t moving at all. “Shit. Help me move him onto his back.”

Patton moved forward to help Logan. Neither one of them were phased by the amount of blood covering their hands. Once Roman was successfully placed on his back Logan began to search for a heartbeat.

“He doesn’t have a pulse,” Logan stated in a worried tone. He searched across Roman’s entire body- his wrist, neck, directly on his chest. He found nothing.

The room was silent. Anxiety had moved over to Patton, who was crying once more. Logan was making pitiful attempts to revive Roman.

“Does that mean… is he-” Patton could barely speak through his sobs.

“He’s not dead!!” Logan shouted as he beat his fists on the floor.

“But… he doesn’t have a pulse and-”

“I SAID HE’S NOT DEAD!!!” Tears welled up in Logan’s eyes.

“Logan…. you tried to help. That’s commendable.” Anxiety’s voice was soft and slow as he tried to say anything valid. “He couldn’t handle what happened. This isn’t your fault.”

“What do we do then?” Logan was holding back his own tears now. “Do we just try to move on? Do we hold a funeral? Do we close off his room and never come back in? What are we supposed to do?!”

No one responded. There wasn’t anything that could be said. No one knew the answers to Logan’s question. They all just sat there- Logan and Patton covered in blood, Anxiety refusing to take in the sight before him, and Roman. Roman laying completely still, surrounded by his own blood and stray feathers, with a set of wings that would never be seen properly. The room had an unbearable sadness filling it. Nothing seemed to be able to break the silence within it.

There was a short knock on Roman’s door before five strangers made their way into the room. They were dressed in all white, with a glorious variety of wings following them. They gathered around the sad sight of Roman and the others. Four of them surrounded Roman, and carefully lifted his limp body. Logan let out a scream as Roman was taken away. The fifth stranger waited for them to clear the scene before handing a plain white envelope to Anxiety. He said nothing as he turned to leave with the others.

“Who was that?” Patton asked with a shaking voice.

“The Guardians,” Logan said coldly. “What does the letter say?”

Anxiety opened the envelope with shaking hands. His eyes hadn’t left Roman until he was completely out of sight. He pulled out the letter, unfolded it, and began to read aloud.

“’To the protective angels of Thomas Foley Sanders:

We apologize for the unfortunate circumstances pertaining to one of your comrades. It is a terrible fate that has fallen upon you. We are taking your acquaintance to our facility in an attempt to preserve his life. We are unable to disclose any information that would present a success rate. You will receive another letter if any form of progress has been made.

We will be assigning a replacement to stay with you in the meantime. This replacement will be temporary. If your comrade miraculously makes a recovery, he will return to this host. If he is unable to recover, a permanent replacement will be assigned, You can expect the arrival of your temporary replacement in the next 3 to 5 days.

Once again, we apologize for this tragedy.

Signed,

The Guardians’

There’s a list of names below that.”

“We’re getting a replacement for Roman?” Patton looked up Anxiety with an expression of fear and confusion.

“They said it might be temporary,” Logan proclaimed.

“And if it isn’t?” Anxiety read through the letter once more. “What if that was the last time we saw Roman? What if he never comes back? We never even got to say our goodbyes! And now- now we’re just going to have deal with some random angel assigned to live with us? We’re supposed to pretend that every time they do something, we don’t pretend that it should have been Roman there instead?! We just act like everything is normal when we just watched our friend die? How is that fair?”

Anxiety collapsed forward, hyperventilating into his sleeve. Patton wrapped his arms around the smaller angel, gross sobs escape from both of them.

“It’s not fair, kiddo.” Patton’s voice was incredibly soft. “It’s not fair at all, but we’ll have to move on. Or at least try to. We just have to take it one day at a time. We‘ll wait and see what happens.”

“I don’t want to wait,” Logan said as he stood up. “I want Roman back.”

With that. Logan left the room and stormed down the hall. Patton was left with a still panicking Anxiety and a room covered in blood. He knew the next few days would be extremely difficult. For everyone.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is dealing with the loss of Roman differently. Virgil is a frantic mess. Patton is in a weird head-space. A new angel is introduced, which only seems to make things worse.

Roman died on a Wednesday. That night was unbearable for everyone. Logan closed himself off in his room for hours. Once Anxiety had calmed down and Patton got all the blood washed off of himself, the pair spent the night in Patton’s room. They didn’t talk much; they simply needed each other’s company. Patton kept whimpering in his sleep. Logan couldn’t sleep; he saw blood every time he closed his eyes. Everyone had been left in various states of shock.

The next morning, the three angels gathered in Roman’s dreamspace. Although he wasn’t there, each of them still had a slight control over it. They had worked to manifest a field of flowers with an old tree stump in its center. Patton placed a photo of Roman on top of the stump, and surrounded it with red roses. Anxiety placed Romans sword down in front of it. Logan pulled out a book he and Roman both enjoyed: The Complete Works of Robert Frost. He opened to a bookmarked page and began to read:

‘Nature’s first green is gold,

Her hardest hue to hold,

Her early leaf’s a flower;

But only so an hour.

Then leaf subsides to leaf,

So Eden sank to grief,

So dawn goes down to day.

Nothing gold can stay.’

Logan closed the book and placed it gently next to the picture of Roman. The three of them stared at their shire before all turning away in unison. A thick forest formed around the field, concealing it from their minds. As Anxiety pulled the door to the dreamspace closed, all three of them prepared to make an attempt to move on.

The days went by slowly for everyone. Patton would sometimes wake up screaming, and it would take Anxiety several minutes to calm him down. Logan was constantly buried in a different book whenever he left his room. Everything was so quiet without Roman. For once, the others missed his constant singing.

It was Saturday now, and things were slowly falling into a normal rhythm. Patton would make breakfast but accidentally set out a plate for Roman. Logan would spend a few hours outside of room, but he was still lost in a book. Anxiety spent most of his time on the stairs, trying to sort through his muddled thoughts.

Anxiety considered hiding in his own room, but decided to visit Patton instead. He opened the angel’s door without knocking and was surprised to see that Patton wasn’t there. He didn’t have to think long in order to know where the father figure had gone.

Roman’s bedroom door was opened ever so slightly. Anxiety gently pushed the door open and found Patton kneeling next to the spot where Roman had died. He had a bucket of soapy water next to him, and he was furiously scrubbing the carpet with a sponge. Anxiety moved further into the room and crouched down next to Patton.

“What are you doing?” Anxiety asked quietly.

“I’m cleaning up the room.”Patton answered without looking up. “I want everything to look nice for when Roman gets back. You know how much he hates messes.”

“Right… Patton? You know that Roman might not come back, right?”

Patton let out a small laugh. “Didn’t you read the letter? The Guardians are gonna fix him up and send him back to us! It’s all gonna be fine!”

“Of course they are.” Anxiety stood up and got ready to leave. He couldn’t help but feel a bit of concern for Patton’s mood given how upset he was just a few days ago.

Anxiety decided to sped the remainder of the day in his room. He couldn’t ignore the pit opening in his stomach. Something felt wrong and he couldn’t place what it was. He just knew it made him uneasy.

The others hadn’t been in Anxiety’s room for years. Patton would sometimes pop his head in for a moment to tell Anxiety to get something to eat, but none of them had really visited in a long while. He liked it that way. They never got a glimpse of what he was dealing with that way.

Virgil’s hand traced the collection of journal’s on his shelf. He reached a wary hand for the most recent one and moved over to his desk. He opened to the bookmarked page and prepared to write.

“August 22

Roman died on Wednesday night. I cried. Patton cried. Even Logan cried. A bunch of strangers carried him away. One of them gave me a letter. It said we’re going to be getting a replacement for Roman and that it could be permanent. But it also said Roman could come back to us. Patton seems to be holding onto that pretty tightly.

Patton has me worried. He was such a mess that night. He didn’t want to leave my side, and it was like he wouldn’t stop crying. But this morning– he was completely different. He was cleaning up Roman’s room, there was so much blood, and he was talking about when Roman would come home. It’s like he’s denying everything that went down.

Logan hardly leaves his room anymore. I’m probably going to talk to him later. I want to borrow some of his books. I don’t like it when Logan is in his room all the time. It means he’s doing research, and I don’t think he’ll find anything helpful right now. At least me talking to him will keep him distracted for a little while.

I can’t help but get worried about this replacement. I have no clue when they’re showing up, or how they’ll act, or what influence they’ll have over Thomas. I don’t even know what Roman being gone is doing to Thomas. I’ve just got this bad feeling about things right now. Not like it’s an uncommon thing for me. They call me Anxiety for a reason, right? I wish they knew my name. I hate being the bad guy in Thomas’ life.

I miss him. I get that he was a jerk and everything, but after everything he told me. That was just a few days ago. He told me all those things, and suddenly I just understood him. I felt… sorry for him. I should’ve tried to help him sooner. It’s all my fault that he’s gone. All of this is my fault. All the others went through everything because of me. And now I’m going to have to go through it alone.

God, I miss him so much…

-V”

Virgil shut the journal and looked over at his clock. The one on his wall never stopped spinning, but the digital one showed that it was a little after noon. “Too early for a nap,” he thought. But all he wanted to do was hide under his covers until the sun went away. He just wanted to go back to the way things were. Before Roman left. Before everyone’s wings started showing up. Before he was sent to Thomas.

The blankets are warm and his room is so dark. Just a few hours, then he’ll check on Patton again. Virgil just wanted to be alone for a few hours.

Patton’s screaming. Logan’s bottles. All of Roman’s blood. My fault. My fault. My fault… YOU KNOW IT”S ALL YOUR FAULT ANXIETY!!!

He woke up to the echoing sounds of everyone crying. He had blamed himself for the others getting their wings, but at least Patton and Logan had survived. He couldn’t help but feel responsible for Roman’s death. Even though he had no idea what Roman’s wings would look like, he couldn’t help but feel guilty.

It was 2:30 in the afternoon, and Virgil felt worse than when he had fallen asleep. He needed to do something. Anything to get his mind off of what he had done. He slid out of bed and decided to check up on Patton again.

‘They call you Anxiety. Virgil only exist in here. He’s going to call you Anxiety.’

Patton had finally returned to his room, and he was sorting through photos of Roman. He was focusing intently as he placed the pictures into their own separate scrapbook. It took him a few minutes to realize Anxiety had come into his room.

“Patton? Are you listening to me?” Anxiety’s voice sounded distant in Patton’s ears for a moment.

“Hmm?” Patton had finally looked up. “Oh! Sorry, Anxiety. I was just putting something together for when Roman gets back. What were you saying?”

“I just wanted to ask if you were feeling alright. You seem so… different from the past few days. Is everything okay with you?”

Patton gave Anxiety a cheery grin. “I’m fine! The last few days were just a little bit stressful for everyone. But everything is fine now and it’s all gonna get better for us.”

“Okay…” Anxiety tried to hold back his judgment and concern. “Are you planning to make dinner tonight? I understand if you don’t want-”

“Oh my goodness what time is it?” Patton suddenly jumped up and looked at the clock. “I’m making pasta tonight! Roman loves pasta! I gotta go get started!”

Patton then dashed out of the room, leaving his scrapbook and scattered photographs on the floor. Anxiety looked around in bewilderment. His concern only grew worse with every moment.

Logan was lost in his library when he felt another’s presence nearby. He turned to see Anxiety at the end of the aisle, staring solemnly at the floor and nervously biting his fingernails.

“Do you need something, Anxiety?” Logan asked as he approached the smaller angel.

“I’m worried about Patton,” Anxiety said without looking up. “He’s acting really weird. Like, compared to the other day, he’s a completely different person.”

“How different was he acting, exactly?”

“Well… You saw how he was acting after Roman… He was so sad and worried and upset about everything. But today he seems to be the total opposite. He’s super happy and he’s planning all these things for when Roman gets back. I just don’t understand.”

Logan frowned for a moment, lost in thought. “It sounds to me like Patton might be in denial.”

“Denial?” Anxiety repeated, not making an attempt to hide the worry in his voice.

“Yes. Based off of what I know, denial is marked as the first stage of the grieving process. Everything you’ve described sounds similar to those in denial about a traumatic experience. The best thing you can do for Patton is be there to comfort him if and when he is no longer in denial.”

Anxiety stood silently, still staring at the floor. “Are you grieving, Logan?”

Logan sighed and turned away from Anxiety. He scanned through his rows of books and plucked one off the shelf. “Studies suggest that people enter the grieving process in different ways, and that they go through the process of grief in a different amount of time. I went through my phase of denial rather quickly, and I released my anger in private that night. Now I assume I am in the bargaining phase of grieving. I’ve decided to go looking through any book that could be useful to me or Roman. I want to have some form of idea pertaining to what those Guardians are doing to him, and if they have a chance of being successful. I haven’t found anything yet, but I still feel the need to check.”

Anxiety quietly followed Logan as he made his way out of his library and back to his desk. He sat on the edge of Logan’s bed, observing the other angel’s determination. He didn’t want to leave just yet, but he didn’t want to bring up what he had intended to get. But he couldn’t wait any longer.

“Logan?” Anxiety’s voice was low and he knew it. He tried to bring up his volume. “Can I borrow that guidebook? The one you read to me and the others after Patton got his wings.”

“Certainly,” Logan said as he stood up from his desk. “If you don’t mind my asking, what exactly do you need it for?”

“Well… I’m the only one without wings now. I just want to do a little research on my own to prepare for the future. After Roman, I’m a little worried about what might happen to me. I figured that book might help.”

“That’s completely understandable, Anxiety,” Logan said as he handed off the book. He then looked down at his wristwatch. “Oh dear. Patton’s going to be calling us to dinner at any moment. We should probably go.”

“Oh okay, when should I get the book back to you?” Anxiety said as he followed Logan down the hallway to the kitchen.

“There’s no rush. Just don’t meddle with the bookmarked tabs. They’re important.” Logan took on a serious tone with that last statement.

Logan and Anxiety walked into the kitchen just in time to watch Patton drop a bowl of pasta sauce onto the floor. His eyes were wide and transfixed on something in the central mindspace.

“Patton?” Anxiety ran forward to the other angel. “What is it? What’s wrong?!”

Patton lifted a shaking hand and pointed in the direction of the mindspace. A strange mist was filling up the room, and in the center of it was a bright light. Anxiety jumped behind Patton in surprise, but Logan began to cautiously move towards the mist. Logan was just inches away from the mysterious cloud when the light faded away. In its place stood a boy.

He was about the same height as Anxiety. He looked a bit younger than the others. His hair was shaggy and a golden blond color. He had no wings. He wore a yellow t-shirt and blue skinny jeans. His bright green eyes scanned their way around the room. He stopped when his gaze met Logan’s.

“Hello,” the angel said with a sly grin. “I was assigned the host of Thomas F. Sanders. Is this the correct host?”

Logan blinked rapidly before straightening his shoulders and clearing his throat. “Yes. Welcome. I am Logan. In the kitchen is Patton and… and Anxiety. Would you care to introduce yourself?”

“Of course. I’m Dustin, but my friends call me Dusty.” The young angel pushed Logan slightly in order to get a better view of the others. “Anxiety can’t actually be your name.”

“It’s not,” Anxiety said, still standing behind Patton. “And I’m not saying what it really is because it doesn’t matter.”

“Fine, fine. I won’t press you. So… I have no good way to phrase this. They told me I was replacing one of you who had met an ‘unfortunate fate’ and that his name was Roman. What exactly did he do?”

Patton looked like he was going to cry at any moment. “Roman was Thomas’ creative whimsy. He helped Thomas come up with ideas for school and performances and funny things to say around his friends and family. He was a bit of a flirt too, even though I handle Thomas’ emotions…” Patton’s voice started to waver. “He was loud and talked a lot, but he did give Thomas a bunch of amazing ideas.”

Dustin looked at Patton’s pained expression and nodded. “Ideas. Creativity. I think I can handle that. I mean, I am only here temporarily.” He looked closer at Patton. “I can tell he meant a lot to you. I really hope he makes it back to you guys. He seems important to your dynamic. I’ll try not to mess things up while I’m here.”

“This is real,” Patton said in a tone that was barely audible, but Anxiety heard it.

“Yeah. This is real,” Anxiety whispered back.

Patton ran forward then, sprinting to his room. His sobs could be heard echoing down the hall.

“Patton!” Logan called after the angel before running down the hallway after him.

“Shit!” Anxiety exclaimed, frozen by fear. His fingers clutched the book that was still in his hands. He wanted to follow them, but his legs weren’t agreeing with his brain.

“I’m sure they’ll be fine,” Dusty said as he wrapped an arm around Anxiety’s shoulder. “I’d like to get to know you all individually anyway. So tell me a little about yourself, Virgil.”


	10. Chapter 10

Logan turned the corner just in time to see Patton’s door swing shut. He heard the click of a lock as he made his way to the end of the hall. Despite being a bit worked up at Patton’s outburst, he gently knocked on the door.

“Patton,” Logan spoke in a calm and comforting tone. “May I come in? Please?”

Logan was met with silence.

“I’m not leaving until you open the door, Patton.”

More silence.

“Patton. I don’t want you to be alone right now. I’m here to support you through this. I know you’re frightened and upset, and I’m just wanting to help you.”

Logan was prepared for more silence, but instead heard the sound of a lock and the turning of a doorknob. Patton opened the door to where a sliver of his face was visible. His face was bright red and stained with tears.

“Go check on Anxiety. I’ll come out when I’m ready,” Patton said in a wavering tone.

“Alright,” Logan said hesitantly. “But please don’t stay in there for too long. I know how you can act when you’ve been in your room for extended periods of time. I’ll send Anxiety to you once I’ve assessed the situation in the mindspace.”

“Thank you, Logan.”

“It is not a problem, Patton.”

Patton gave a small smirk and shut the door once again. Logan straightened his back and prepared to return to the mindspace. He closed his eyes and felt the air rush around him as he made his way through Thomas’ being. When Logan opened his eyes. He was met with a completely empty mindspace. Both Anxiety and Dustin were nowhere to be found.

Anxiety stood inches away from Dustin’s face. He had dragged the younger angel into Roman’s bedroom, locked the door, and was prepared to physically fight him.

“How do you know my name?” Virgil’s voice boomed as its tone became deep and distorted.

“Oooo, spooky vocals,” Dustin said with a smirk. “Can you do that on demand? Or is it because you can’t control the darkness within you?”

“What are you talking about?” Virgil said, tilting his head in confusion.

“I learned your name through physical contact. It’s a rare ability that happens to run through my particular line of angels.” Dustin had started circling Virgil like a serpent. “All it takes is one simple touch, and I can learn anything I want to know about someone. And I’ve seen a lot of darkness within you, Virgil.”

“You’re lying to me!” Virgil’s voice still carried its altered tone.

“Maybe I am. Maybe I’m not. But you denying it makes me suspicious. Are you hiding something, Virgil?” Dustin’s was talking in an oddly playful manner.

“Stop saying my name!” Virgil shouted, lifting the guidebook that was still tight in his clutches.

“Nice book,” Dusty remarked. “You should read it. I have a feeling you’ll learn a few things you’ll regret.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Logan has a few ‘special’ bookmarks in there. You should sneak a peek at some of them.”

“So you saw in Logan’s head too?” Virgil’s voice was starting to settle down.

“Yes, but just for a second. He seemed concerned about what you would find in that book. So I figured you should take a peek.”

Virgil ran a finger along the pages of the book. Several multicolored tabs poked out in various places. All colors of the rainbow were present: Red, yellow, green, blue, purple. Virgil stopped when he noticed a singular black tab. He looked back up at Dustin, who simply nodded to show that Virgil should examine it further. Virgil opened to the bookmarked page without hesitation. The bookmark was on a page that discussed the colors of an angel’s wings and their meaning. The tab was halfway down the page, where the text was about black wings. Virgil’s eyes wildly scanned through the information.

“Well don’t keep it all to yourself,” Dustin said in a slightly annoyed tone. “Share what you’ve learned with the rest of the class.”

“‘Black wings are a sinister sight. Any angel to develop black wings could be marked as a danger to other angels and their host. If an angel receives black wings upon having their potential reached, it is to be reported immediately. The Guardians will then be brought to handle the situation from that point. In many cases, an angel with black wings will be executed upon discovery.’” Virgil looked up to the green-eyed angel. “Why are you having me read this?”

Dustin pulled another sly grin. “What does Logan’s note say?”

Virgil looked back up to the tab. “’Anxiety’... H-he thinks that I’ll get black wings? He thinks I’m dangerous? Why would he write this- I thought he was my friend!”

“It’s shocking how much to the truth can hurt,” Dusty said while walking over to Roman’s door. “But I assumed you had your own suspicions. Everyone gets curious about their wings.”

“I don’t!” Virgil’s voice was back to its fully distorted tone. “All I do is worry about the others and Thomas! I don’t care about what my wings will look like. But clearly Logan’s worried about it. He just isn’t worried enough to tell any of us!”

“It is real shame to have so much happen in one day. A new arrival and an old friend keeping secrets. I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now.” For some reason, Dustin’s voice seemed to lack a sense of honesty.

With a smirk, the young angel opened the door to reveal Logan making his way down the hall. Virgil dropped the book and sprinted towards him. With the strength and agility of a wild cat, Virgil jumped at Logan and tackled him to the floor. A crack could be heard as Logan’s left wing slammed downward. Logan let out a cry in pain as Virgil pressed him into the floor.

“Anxiety! What are you doing?!” Logan’s voice was twisted by shock and terror.

“When were you going to tell me about the black wings?!” Anxiety’s voice had somehow managed to become even more terrifying as it echoed through the hall. “When were you going to say that I’m dangerous?”

“You read that tab?” Logan sounded like he was starting to choke. “I was going to say something when necessary.”

“You didn’t think it was necessary when you first read it?! How long did you have this idea, huh? HOW LONG??!!!”

Logan’s eyes rolled back as he whispered, “Years...”

It was after Logan lost consciousness that Anxiety realized his hands had been tightly wrapped around the other angel’s throat. Dustin knelt down next to him and gave him a pat on the back.

“Well, that went was hardly entertaining. Pick him up and bring him inside. When he wakes up we can talk more.”

Anxiety stared down at his unconscious “friend”. “He’s known for years... He kept this a secret for years.”

“I know,” Dusty said in a flat tone. “Now bring him inside. We gotta think of an alibi in case Patton shows up.”

Anxiety nodded and did as he was told and dragged Logan into Roman’s room. As he pulled Logan across the floor, he noticed the sharp bend in his wing.

“Did I... break his wing?” Anxiety wondered as he ran his hand over the feathers.

“Looks like it. I’m sure he’ll be fine.” Dustin was pacing around the room like he was trying to find something. “We do heal quickly after all.”

“Right...” Anxiety had run out of things to say. “Hey Dustin?”

“What?”

“Don’t tell the others that my name is Virgil. I don’t want them to know just yet.”

Dustin’s face pulled up into a crooked smile. “Anything for a friend.”

Patton had finally managed to get himself calm enough to leave his room. He knew he couldn’t hide from this new angel forever. And besides, he might just be temporary. Roman could still come back. But until he does, Patton should try to be nice to Dustin in the meantime. He had made the decision to walk back to the mindspace rather than simply teleport there. He wanted to be able to clear his head a bit more. Although he couldn’t place exactly what, Patton felt a strange sensation building up in his body. He figured a short walk would make things a bit better.

By the time Patton reached the central mindspace, he could sense that something was wrong. Not just with himself, but with the others. No voices could be heard nearby, and there wasn’t another angel in sight. Stricken with a sudden wave of fear, Patton began to race through the halls to locate the others. He almost rushed past Roman’s room, but he heard a strained groan coming from inside. Despite the door being closed, he could tell it was Logan.

The door flew open with a force that almost took it off of its hinges. Inside was a peculiar sight. Logan was on the floor with a bruised and bloodied face. Anxiety was towering over him; impatiently waiting for him to fully wake up. Dustin sat on the edge of Roman’s bed, looking mortified.

“What are you doing?” Patton shouted as he shoved Anxiety off of Logan. “Did you hit him? Why are you all in Roman’s room? What’s happening?!”

“He’s been keeping secrets!” Anxiety shouted back as he gestured towards Logan. “He’s been hiding information from us for years!”

“What kind of information?” Patton’s voice had taken on an unfamiliar tone.

“He knows what happens to angels with black wings...” Anxiety was hesitant to say more. “And he thinks I might have black wings. And he didn’t bother to tell any of us!”

“That still doesn’t explain why you decided to beat him up,” Patton said in an uncharacteristically annoyed voice.

“I beat him up because he didn’t have a good excuse for keeping it secret for so long. If he had said something immediately, maybe he wouldn’t have gotten his ass kicked.”

Patton looked across the room at the small angel on Roman’s bed. “Dustin, why didn’t you try to stop this?”

Dusty looked up at Patton like an innocent puppy. “Well... I saw that Anxiety had that big book with him. And I thought we should read some of it- since he seemed so curious about it. And then he got to that section and he just got so angry... I thought he might start hitting me too.” The young angel looked like he was ready to cry.

Patton gave Dustin a slightly suspicious look. “Alright. That’s fine. But why in Roman’s room? We promised we weren’t going to come back in here.”

Logan finally spoke, although his words were a bit slurred. “They were in here before I was. I was just trying to bring Anxiety to your room.”

Patton looked at Anxiety with a sense of... rage of all things. “Anxiety..... why did you come into Roman’s room?”

“Why are you making it seem like I broke the law? Dusty wanted a tour so I was giving him one! We were just going to stay in for a minute, but then we got to looking in the book and then Logan walked by and I lost it.”

“Oh I’ll show you losing it, you dumb fuck!” Everyone gasped at the fact that Patton has never said a swear before. “All of you are absolute morons! Giving Anxiety that book thinking he wouldn’t go looking through your notes! Letting a stranger into Roman’s bedroom without any of us knowing! Keeping secrets! Beating each other up! What are you trying to accomplish??!!! If you’re wanting everything to fall apart, then by all means keep fighting! Don’t let me get in your way! As if it’s living without Roman wasn’t bad enough!! You all just had to find a way to make it worse!!! You’re all just a bunch of fucking idiots for letting any of this happen!!!”

Patton’s shoulders heaved up and down as he aggressively panted. His blue eyes shifted around the room as he was met with three dazed faces. “What?!” He shouted in a monstrous tone.

Logan was the first to speak. “Patton... you’ve never acted like this before. Are you feeling alright?”

“I’m fine! Just frustrated at everything that’s happened. I don’t understand why you’re making everything so difficult.”

It was Anxiety who spoke now. “Well if someone wasn’t keeping secrets.”

“Yes well if someone didn’t give good reason for me to keep secrets.” Logan sneered back.

“Do you want me to knock you unconscious again? Because I’ll be happy to do it no problem.”

“Furthering my point that you are in fact a danger-”

“Stop fighting!” This time it was Dustin who spoke. “Can’t you see it’s upsetting to Patton? Look, there’s an easy solution to this. Patton, Logan is hurt. Take him to his room and settle things out there. I’ll go with Anxiety to his room. We’ll stay out of each other’s hair for the rest of the night, and regroup in the morning. Sound fair to everyone?”

Patton gave a disgruntled nod. Anxiety and Logan followed suite with reluctant forms of agreement.

“Good,” Dusty said, clasping his hands together. “Patton, you go ahead and take Logan. Anxiety and I will give you a head start so there’s no squabbling in the hallway.”

Patton bent down to help Logan off the floor. He did a double-take at Logan’s still bent wing, but then worked to just get his friend out of Roman’s room.

“I think they fell for our little story,” Dusty said with an upmost certainty.

“What are we going to talk about it my room?” Anxiety asked in a low voice.

“What we’re going to do next.”

Dustin turned to Virgil then, a wide grin pulled across his face. Virgil couldn’t help but grin back. He didn’t know why, but he was really starting to like his newly found friend.

Patton helped Logan sit on the edge of his bed and carefully examined his damaged body. The bruises on his face were slowly fading, and the gash on his lip was starting to close. Patton decided to focus his attention on Logan’s bent wing. He slid behind the other angel and gently unbuttoned the slits in Logan’s shirt back. The two made the silent agreement to remove Logan’s shirt completely, and Patton carelessly threw it to the floor. Without a warning, Patton snapped Logan’s wing back into place.

“OW!” Logan’s voice rang out as he arched his back in pain. “You could’ve warned me first!”

“Warning you wouldn’t have taken away your pain,” Patton said in a cold tone.

“True, but it would have at least eased my mind.”

“Shut up,” Patton barked at Logan. “What was so bad about your secret that it got you here in the first place? How’d you get Anxiety so upset?”

Logan figured he couldn’t control Patton’s newfound anger, so he chose not to hold back. “There’s a high possibility that angels with black wings are to be executed. I have a suspicion Anxiety may develop black wings. I withheld information in the hope my suspicion would pass and it hasn’t. I never meant for him to find out.”

Patton didn’t need to speak. His rage was clearly written all over his body. Logan decided then to comfort him as well as possible. “You aren’t mad about the secret. This is about Roman. I’m sure you are upset about what has occurred between Anxiety and myself, but the real source of your anger is just your dealing with Roman’s death.”

Patton let out a shuddering breath. “It hurts to go on without him, Logan. I don’t know how to deal with it.”

“You don’t have to deal with it alone. I’m here. I’ll make sure you get through all of this okay.”

Logan pulled Patton in for a hug, partly to comfort the angel and partly to hide his own tears. The two just sat there, wrapped around each other, tears running down their faces, wings draped behind them, and unknown feelings filling their minds.

“Alright, here’s the plan,” Dustin said as he jumped off Virgil’s bed. “Make them afraid of you.”

“Would you care to explain that idea?” Virgil said as he leaned against his desk.

“It’s simple. Don’t leave your room unless you need to. Only control Thomas when you want him scared. Show up without a warning. Start arguments for the sake of fighting. If Logan thinks you’re a danger, prove him right. Become a walking danger that they can’t escape.”

“How would we do that?”

“I can get any information I need from Patton and Logan just by touching them. I’ll set the stage for whatever story we want to tell. And we can make them believe anything we say or do.”

“What could I gain from that?”

“Nothing really. You’d just have the others believing that what was written in that book really does apply to you. You can scare them.”

“Yeah, I guess I could scare them. If Logan wants to see me as a threat, then I’ll make myself a threat! When do we start?”

Dusty gave Virgil a genuine smile, which Virgil returned without hesitation. The two wingless angels had become uncomfortably close despite only meeting hours ago. Now all they had to do was set their plan into action.


	11. Chapter 11

Everything sounded so distant in his ears. Like there was a never-ending siren blaring through his mind. Mixed with it were the echoes of someone’s sobs, and the panic-filled shouts of someone else. He couldn’t just hear them though. He could feel their presence. And their terror. It felt like he knew them. Like he had been with them only moments ago.

He remembered those feelings. The fire that was roaring through his body. The pain of his muscles being torn apart and his bones breaking. The pain-filled strain of his jaw being clenched tight. The burning in his throat from all the screams he had let out. But he also remembered the feeling of gentle hands that wrapped around his shaking body. And the ones that had swept his curly hair off of his sweat-covered face. He remembered seeing the mirrors, and the panic filing his being, and all of the secrets he shared. He remembers ever bit of it. Even after death.

Roman remembers the feeling of being lifted out of his room by a collection of several strangers. He could feel the world shift around his as he left Thomas’ being. He felt his own world slip away from him as he lost his physical connection to his host. Once he was gone, everything went white. Roman truly believed he was crossing to the other side. He thought that his life had ended when he had just entered his prime. He thought that was the last time he ever saw the others.

He held on to their memories tightly. All the hugs he had shared with Patton. The late nights he spent trying to stop Anxiety’s nightmares. The bickering and all the heated debates he got into with Logan. The nights all four of them would stay up sorting through Thomas’ current situations. The good, the bad, the downright terrible. All those thoughts and memories cycled through his head as he waited for his inevitable end.

But it never came.

Roman could feel he wasn’t with Thomas or his fellow angels, but he definitely wasn’t in any form of afterlife. He tried focus in on his being, to center himself and gauge his surroundings. His back felt cold, like it was covered in ice. He felt like he was sunken down in some foreign substance. He could feel his pulse hammering into his fingertips. His chest gently rose and fell as he let in steady breaths. He was most certainly still alive. He wanted to know how.

Roman wanted more than anything to open his eyes. Or open his mouth. He wanted to shout and wave his arms and try to grab someone’s attention. He wanted so desperately for someone to see he was alive. Although he could feel every part of his body, Roman could not get any part himself to move. But that was not going to stop him from trying.

The muscles in Roman’s neck flexed wildly as he made an attempt to speak. He still couldn’t hear past the ringing in his ears, but he was hoping some sound could be heard. Without a warning, Roman felt a warm hand touch the center of his forehead and another one on his chest.

The prince let out a scream as his eyes shot open and his body rose off the bed. He blinked wildly as he adjusted to his surroundings. The room was bright white and filled with silver furniture and machines. A large window near the door showed several similar rooms with other angels in varying degrees of stress. Roman turned to see a small red-headed angel standing next to him. She had dazzling white wings. They weren’t heart-shaped like Patton’s, but they fit her size perfectly. In her hands she held a clipboard and a pen.

“Good afternoon, Roman.” The angel said in a pleasant tone. “I’m glad to see you’re finally awake. My name is Mimi. How are you feeling?”

“Confused,” Roman answered in a gravely voice. “Why couldn’t I move just a moment ago?”

“It’s part of the healing process,” Mimi replied. “We prefer our patients to remain completely still while we repair their bodies. Some angels are prone to seizures and muscle convulsions, so it’s safer for us to keep them still. If I’m to be honest with you, this it the first time you’ve really been awake.”

“How long have I been here?” Roman was starting to worry about the others.

“You were rushed in about a month ago, and you’ve been in recovery for two weeks. That’s actually a rather remarkable time given the condition you had been in!” Mimi ended her statement with a smile.

“How am I not dead? I was more than certain I was dying.”

“You were in a rather awful state when you first arrived. Your body was tattered in ways we are prepared to handle. We have dozens of angels on call to heal those in predicaments similar to yours- myself included. I’ve been tending to your injuries for a while now. I’ve been making sure you are healed properly, and you have made significant progress since you arrived.”

“I want to go home. When can I go home?-- AH!” Roman was making an attempt to get off his bed, but was struck with pain creeping up his spine.

“I would like to run a few tests before I can send you back to your host. His name is Thomas, correct?”

Roman nodded in response. He missed Thomas. And Patton, and Logan, and Anxiety. Did they know he was alive? That he was recovering? That he would soon return to them? He wanted so desperately to see them again.

“Well,” Mimi said as she scribbled across her clipboard, “It seems like you do still have feeling in your back, which is good to note. Before we go through the test, would you like to see your wings?”

“My-my what?” It was like Roman had never heard of the word ‘wings’ before.

“The event that brought you to us was you receiving your wings,” Mimi said in a steady tone. “We’ve corrected the damages on your body and cleaned them up for you. You can see them now, if you’d like.”

Mimi moved over to one of the walls and pressed a small silver button. Two plates in the wall slid apart, and a mirror took their place. Roman flinched back in terror. He let out a groan as more pain surged through his back.

“Roman. What’s wrong?” Mimi tried to keep her tone comforting.

“That mirror,” Roman was whispering now, “It’s filled with lies. If I look in that mirror, I’ll get hurt... This isn’t real.”

Mimi looked down at Roman with concern. She cleared her throat and prepared to speak again. “Roman... I assure you that this is a safe environment. Nothing here is fake, and nothing is going to hurt you. I understand that you are an Angel of Creativity, and your imagination can sometimes run wild. But none of this is your imagination playing tricks. I am real, this room is real, and that mirror will not hurt you.”

“O-okay, I believe you.” Roman said in a shaking tone of voice. He sounded like a child, but he didn’t care. He trusted Mimi.

Mimi extended a hand for Roman to take and helped him off the bed. His legs were a bit shaky, but he was still able to stand. Another pleasing sign that Mimi had done her job well. He slowly and carefully shuffled towards the mirror. He nearly screamed at the sight of himself.

His hair had grown out slightly, taking on a messy and shaggy look. His muscles had lost a notable amount of tone. He didn’t look weak, but he certainly didn’t look like himself. His face was thinner, and his eyes were slightly sunken back in his head. Roman turned slowly to get a better view of his wings.

Beautiful was an understatement. They were remarkable. Transcendent. Incomparable. Various shades of brown coated the feathers, being their darkest near the top and getting lighter as they moved further downward. Near their bottom, the feathers turned an incredible golden yellow color. They arched high, peaking up from behind his shoulders, and draped down to the back of his thighs. They were absolutely stunning. They looked so out of place on his shrunken frame.

“We’ve never seen a pair quite like these before,” Mimi remarked. “To have a combination of natural and unnatural colors is exceptionally rare. And their size and shape show why you were in so much pain when you arrived. The scars they left behind may never heal properly, but aside from that you have recovered well. We can continue with more test now, if you’re ready.”

Roman gave a relieved sigh at the fact that this was real. “I most certainly am ready!” he said with newfound vigor. “What exactly will the test be covering?”

“Since you’re awake now, your body will be physically restored within a day or two. These aren’t so much tests as they are questions that are to mainly make sure you are still mentally fit.” Mimi looked down at her clipboard. “We’ll start with something basic. We’ve already established your host’s name is Thomas. Can you tell me the names of your fellow angels?”

“Easy! Patton, Logan, and Anxiety!” Roman answered with upmost confidence.

Mimi gave Roman a puzzling look. “Um, Patton and Logan are correct. But I don’t have an Anxiety listed here.”

“He won’t tell us his real name, and we never push him to tell us. So we’ve called him Anxiety since he first showed up.”

“Alright then,” Mimi said, trying to hide her confusion. “Judging by the way you explain him, I won’t say that was wrong. Can you tell me what your other angels provide for your host? Starting with Patton.”

Roman’s face lit up with excitement. “Patton is the best! He’s mainly responsible for Thomas’ emotions, and he loves all of us. He’s helped us learn a lot about how Thomas feels towards certain things, and in turn how we should have him approach different issues. He’s kind and caring, and extremely funny. He’s like a father to the rest of us! He’s so wonderful!”

“I’ve never heard someone talk about another angel like that,” Mimi said with a slight grin. “What about Logan? What does he do?”

“Logan is a genius. He’s always lost in a book, gathering more information for Thomas to learn. He likes to share his information with the rest of us sometimes, but he usually just writes it all down for himself. He’s a bit awkward, but he’s still a good friend to have.”

Mimi nodded and took down more notes. “And Anxiety? Can you tell me something about him?”

“Anxiety... um,” Roman tried to thin of what exactly Anxiety did for Thomas. “Anxiety keeps us safe. He makes sure Patton isn’t too impulsive, and that Logan isn’t staying up too late reading. He tries to make sure I can tell when something is and isn’t real. He’s very protective of us, almost to a fault... He’s kinda the reason I have my wings.”

“You seem to be quite attached to all of them,” Mimi said solemnly. “I don’t think you know how lucky you are to have them.”

“I’m sure I’m more than aware,” Roman said with confidence. “They were all there when I was taken away... I remember it.”

“That’s an excellent segue to my next question,” Mimi said as she placed her clipboard down on a nearby table. “What is the last thing you remember? I’d like you to work your way back through your memories.”

Roman looked at the nurse with a fearful expression. He knew every single detail of what had happened to him. He wasn’t sure how in-depth he could get with his explanation. The memory was still fresh and painful in his mind. He chose the best course of action was to just speak without caution and say what needed to be said.

“I had told Anxiety so many secrets. Insecurities I had held onto for far too long. It was terrifying. Then my body ran cold. I felt my legs give out, and the world around me was disappearing. Logan had carried me back to my room. By the time he set me down- there was so much pain. It was like a fire tore through every part of me. I couldn’t move or think or breathe. When I finally tried to breathe, I started choking. Then I vomited. Logan cleaned me up, then he left for a bit. I didn’t think it was real. It was too unimaginable to be real. I wanted a mirror. If it was in the mirror, then it would be real. Logan found me trying to move. I blacked out for a bit. I thought I could simply let go then... There wasn’t any pain... It would have been so easy to just... leave.” Roman had started to cry. “But I couldn’t stand the thought of leaving the others behind. I couldn’t do that to them. I fought for the chance to live. And it hurt in ways I can’t describe. I could scarcely here Patton crying and Anxiety trying to soothe him. At some point, all the pain ended. I couldn’t breathe. All my energy had been spent. I felt Logan feel around my body, searching for my heartbeat. He was too frantic; he didn’t find anything. I felt his hands beating against my floor. And then I felt strangers take me away. Everything went white and my body went numb. Then I woke up here.”

Roman wiped the tears off his face as he let out shaking breaths. Mimi hadn’t taken any notes. She had been at this job long enough that she learned she didn’t need to. She understood what causes an angel to end up in this facility. She made her way over to Roman and pulled in for a hug. She was careful not to disturb his sutures. She felt Roman’s arms wrap tightly around her small frame. Neither of them said a word or moved for a full minute.

Once their hug ended, Mimi returned back to her clipboard. “I know it is difficult to recite all of that, but it’s important that you do so. I have one last question for you, Roman. What do you intend to do once you’ve returned to Thomas?”

Roman furrowed his brow, lost in thought. He wasn’t quite sure what he would do. He didn’t know how much may have changed back home. After a few moments of pondering, Roman had his answer.

“I’ll admit to my mistakes, and my faults. I’ll wok to prove to the others that I understand what has happened to me. I won’t take my abilities for granted. I will make sure Thomas’ life is prosperous and his time is well-spent. I won’t make the same mistakes that I have been making for years.”

Mimi seemed a bit taken back by Roman’s response. His voice was so regal. She had never encountered such an eccentric angel before. She smiled and prepared to exit the room.

“I believe that’s all I need from you, Roman. I’ll bring this information back to the doctor for revision, but you seem to be in a perfect mindset to me. If all goes well, you should be able to return to Thomas by tomorrow evening. Maybe even sooner!” Her voice sounded so cheery as it echoed through Roman’s mind.

Roman tried his best to contain his excitement as he watched Mimi make her way through the long corridor. Once she was out of sight, he pulled the blinds closed on his windows and jumped for joy. It was short-lived as more pain ran up his back. He considered getting more rest, but the thought of seeing the others again made that impossible.

He decided instead to look at his wings once more. He slowly made his way back to the mirror, and was again taken aback by their beauty. He turned and twisted himself at unusual angles to try and get a better view of them. He was mesmerized by the way the golden feathers dazzled in the light. Eventually, he caught a glimpse of his scars.

They were jagged, and they ran all the way up his back. They still had a slight red color in some spots, but most had settled into a light pink almost white color. Roman reached a cautious hand towards one of them, and was met with excruciating pain as he lightly touched it. Although he was healing well, the scars were another story.

It takes a lot for an angel to develop a scar. Something has to damage them deeply in order for a scar to form. None of the other angels had gotten any scars in a long while. Logan was the only one of Thomas’ angels with a serious scar, and Roman was the reason for it.  
\----------  
Thomas was maybe eleven or twelve years-old. Anxiety had been around for a few short years now, and the others were started to get accustomed to his habits. But Roman was still on edge about him.

Roman hadn’t slept much. He had been in a state where nothing was feeling real to him. He kept thinking Anxiety had something planned against him. Any time he was in the mindspace with the others, his sword was drawn.

He doesn’t remember what they were fighting about, but things had gotten heated between him and Anxiety. Roman held his sword high above Anxiety’s head, threatening to strike at any moment. Before he did so, Logan jumped between them.

The sword went deep into Logan’s right shoulder. Everyone stared at each other in shock. Roman pulled his sword away and watched in horror as blood poured down Logan’s body. Patton ran over, swiped the sword from Roman, and tried to figure out a way to help Logan.

Logan still has a circular scar in his shoulder. Roman isn’t allowed to bring his sword out of his dreamspace.  
\----------

The scars on Roman’s back are far worse. Most angels don’t scar from getting their wings. But Roman’s had torn him apart from the inside in an uncommon way. He didn’t mind though. They held a story behind them. A story he would never get tired of telling.

He went back to looking at the wings themselves. They were so dramatic and loud like his personality. The shades of brown were so stunning, he was entranced by their beauty. He knew he would have the others floored once they saw him.

Once Roman finished looking over himself, he made his way back to bed. A wave of fatigue hit him as he sank into mattress. His mind was swimming with thoughts of going home. He couldn’t wait to see the others again. To be with Thomas again.

A sense of joy filled Roman’s mind as he imagined his reunion with the others. His mind was at peace knowing he would finally get to see them again. He drifted off to sleep as he imagined how tightly Patton would hug him once he got back. A small smile crossed his face as he entered the most pleasant of dreams.


	12. Chapter 12

The past month had been terrible for everyone. Anxiety’s plan with Dustin had been working a little too well. The two of them working in tandem was causing unending panic in Thomas’ mindspace. Logan was often afraid to bring up any information because Anxiety would appear out of nowhere to contradict him. Patton wanted to remain positive about everything, but with each passing day, the fear of Roman never returning made him feel worse and worse. He wanted to talk with Anxiety- to figure out why he was acting so strangely- but the dark angel never left his room unless it was to scare the others.

Dustin wasn’t making things any easier. It seemed like every time he hugged Logan or Patton he had learned more about them. And he used that as a way to get closer to them. He abused his abilities and his manipulative nature to spread misinformation about Anxiety, and soon Patton and Logan didn’t trust either of them. Without Roman, they only had each other.

After Patton’s outburst at Anxiety and Logan, he almost immediately slipped into a depressive state. Logan wondered why he hadn’t entered the bargaining phase, and determined it was because Patton felt he had nothing to bargain. Patton had closed himself off in his room for almost an entire week, leaving Logan to handle things on his own. When he finally emerged, he spent most of his time wrapped around Logan. It took some time, but Patton slowly started to function like his old self.

It was what had become a typical afternoon; Logan sitting on the couch with a book in one hand, admiring the drawings on his arm. Patton had taken up a habit of connecting Logan’s freckles as a way to pass the time. The only time Patton felt less scared was when he was drawing on Logan. And Logan didn’t mind as long as Patton used a washable marker. Patton was in the kitchen, preparing lunch for the two of them. He quietly hummed to himself as he carefully placed everything on two separate plates.

The two seemed lost in their own worlds, passing the time slowly, when a bright white light filled up the room. The two looked at one another in confusion as the light grew bigger and brighter. A figure started to form within its center. It seemed familiar, but somehow every so slightly different. Just as suddenly as it had appeared, the light vanished. In its place stood Roman.

Logan’s book clattered to the floor. Patton stood, frozen in shock.

No one spoke as the prince looked between the two dazed faces.

“Well, this certainly isn’t the ‘Welcome Home’ I was expecting,” the prince said as he put a hand on his hip. He couldn’t help bu notice Logan’s jaw had dropped. “Logan, are you alright?”

“I-- it’s just-- you were dead!” Logan blinked wildly at the royal. “I didn’t think there was any way you had survived. How-- how are you here?”

“I’m not quite so sure myself. Those Guardians have a rather efficient system running. I was left in a state of paralysis while I was healing. But I’m okay now, which is what’s important.” He turned to see Patton shaking in the corner. “You alright, Patton? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“This-- You-- I’m--” Patton couldn’t speak. He felt his knees give way as he fell to the floor. Loud sobs racked through his whole body

“What’s wrong Patton?” Roman asked as he moved over to the father figure.

“I’m afraid that in your absence, with all of us under the impression you had died and Patton being Thomas’ emotional core, he has gone through quite a bit in the last month.” Logan joined Roman in moving towards Patton. “This is a lot for all of us to take in, but it’s very difficult on Patton.”

“I never thought you would never come back!” Patton choked out between sobs. “I kept dreaming that you would come back, but it was never real!”

“This is real, Patton. I promise,” Roman spoke softly as he brushed tears off of Patton’s reddened face. “I’m really back this time. It’s not a dream. I’m back for good, I promise.”

Patton leaned into Roman’s arms without a warning. He wrapped himself around the larger angel as tightly as he possibly could. He only stopped when he heard Roman give out a groan.

“I’m sorry! Did I hurt you? Are you alright?”

“Yes I’m fine. It’s just.... the scars on my back are still a bit sore.”

“Scars?” Patton asked in a worried tone.

“Yes. Right where my wings came through.”

Roman turned around and stretched his wings outward. He had traded in his old tunic for one with two large, open slits in the back. Patton let out a gasp as he saw the jagged lines running down Roman’s back. Logan had moved in closer to examine the prince’s body further.

“Remarkable,” Logan said as he remarked Roman’s wings more than his injuries, “To have natural and unnatural colors in one set of wings. I’ve researched natural wing colors so it’s no surprise yours are various shades of brown, but what does the gold represent?”

“No one is really sure, but they look quite lovely!” Roman looked down the hallway. “This reunion certainly has been something, but where’s Anxiety? I figured all three of you would be together once I came back.”

“Roman?”

The voice came out of nowhere. Anxiety sat at the bottom of the stairs, looking starstruck. He had changed quite a bit in the past month. An over-sized black hoodie now wrapped around his body, making his frame appear much larger. His fingernails were painted black and filed to look like claws. His posture made him look like a wild animal preparing to attack. For the lack of a better word, he looked... scary.

“Anxiety!” Roman shouted as he pulled the angel in for a hug. It was not a mutual appreciation. Anxiety shoved the prince away from him and bolted down the long corridor.

“What was that about?” Roman said as he gave a puzzling expression to Logan and Patton.

“Well... a lot has changed since you left Roman.” Patton was speaking in an unusual manner. “We had a temporary replacement move in with us. He and Anxiety have gotten pretty close in the past few weeks. There’s been a sort of power-shift around here.”

“I see. And where is this other angel?”

“... Let’s not worry about that right now, Roman,” Logan said, scrambling to try and change the subject. “Why don’t we go to your room? We’ve kept it tidy for you, and it’s more private there.”

“Alright,” Roman responded, still glaring down the hallway. “But let it be known this goes against my curious impulses!”

“We know it does, now c’mon,” Patton said as he took Roman’s hand.

The three winged angels walked slowly and quietly to Roman’s room.

Virgil slammed his bedroom door shut as he let out heavy gasps for air. The last time he ran that fast was when Roman was dying. Dustin sat at Virgil’s desk, flipping through one of his many journals.

“You alright, Virgil?” Dustin asked without turning around.

“Roman’s back.” Virgil huffed out. “He just got back. I saw him. He’s not dead!”

“I’m fully aware,” Dustin said as he closed Virgil’s journal. “We got the letter two weeks ago.”

“Letter?” Virgil asked, dumbfounded. “What letter?”

“The one saying he would be returning to Thomas,” Dustin continued to speak without turning around. “I kept it hidden from the others because it would give them hope that I was leaving, and I kept it away from you because I knew the thought of that bright knight returning would scare you.”

“Alright... Well he’s back now! What are we going to do?”

“Can you stop panicking? I’ve already planned it out. I leave, Thomas grows a bit more as a person, he needs a new angel, I return because you all are already familiar with me, we go back to our mischief. It’ll all work out.”

“How do you know that?” Virgil nervously tugged on his jacket sleeve.

“Because I know everything, darling.” Dustin was suddenly right in front of Virgil, and pulled his dark companion in for a kiss. The two’s relationship had blossomed into something deadly, and they only grew closer by the day. And Virgil couldn’t resist the pleasant taste of Dustin’s lips on his own.

Dustin pulled back and frowned. “Roman has multicolored wings?”

“Is that a bad thing?” Virgil questioned as he toyed with the strings of his hood.

“It most certainly is bad! He might kill me if I’m not careful. Gold almost always means an angel is a warrior, and I’m sure Roman will have no problem with pulling a sword on me.”

“So how do we keep you from dying?”

“We hide in the one place we can control without problems.”

“The dreamspace,” Virgil whispered.

“C’mon,” Dustin ordered as he reached a hand toward Virgil. “We have work to do darling.”

The pair exited Virgil’s room and made their way through the twisting halls. Dustin could feel Virge’s hand shaking in his own.

“Wait. Jump back for a second,” Roman spoke in a confused tone as he sat on his bed with Patton and Logan, “So Patton swore at you and Anxiety because you were fighting? And the reason for your fight was because you’ve been keeping it secret that you have a fear of Anxiety?”

Logan adjusted his glasses, “I did not say I was afraid. It was more of a concern that Anxiety had misinterpreted. But yes that is what happened leading into our current division of the mindspace. Things only got worse as the length of your absence extended.”

“What happened after that?”

“He and Dustin seemed to have strategically plotted ways to ruin Thomas’ mentality. Dustin had a tendency to contradict my facts and would tell Patton lies about you ever coming home. And Anxiety... he would just scare us. He hides in his room constantly, and would silently appear when we least expect him. The two of them working in tandem had us absolutely terrified. Thomas has been struggling with his mentality as well. He’s been lying to friends and family, and his anxious nature has started to go through states of flux. Everything has become quite jumbled since you’ve left.”

“This is all so much to take in at once.” Roman nervously scratched the back of his neck. “I have another question for you... Why is your wing twitching, Logan?”

Logan gave Patton a nervous look. Patton raised his eyebrows, signalling him to explain. “It would appear that, in the midst of our physical fighting, Anxiety broke my wing. I’m unsure if it was intentional or not. There was apparently a bit of nerve damage, and it’s left a residual twitch. It’s only a real issue when I’m stressed or over-worked.”

“He broke you?!” Roman exclaimed as he jumped to his feet. His wings flared out behind him, nearly smacking Logan in the face. “Where is my sword? I’m killing him and his new companion.”

Patton stood up and placed a hand on Roman’s chest. “Now, hang on just a minute. You can’t just charge after him like that. That’s just going to make it worse for us and for Thomas. Stop to think.”

“I don’t want to think,” Roman said as he brushed Patton aside. “Where is my sword?”

“In the dreamspace,” Logan answered as he made his way to the door. “We put it somewhere Dustin couldn’t find. I’ll show you.”

Roman sprinted passed Logan and made his way into the dreamspace. Patton stood next to Logan, looking betrayed. “Why would you tell him that? He’s going to go on a rampage.”

“I think we may need to break the rules in order to make any progress.” Logan turned and made his way down the hall after Roman.

Patton stayed in Roman’s room. He didn’t want to see what madness would occur in the dreamspace.

“Dustin, why are we hiding in the woods?” Virgil whispered.

“Chances are the others will be bringing the precious prince to his dreamspace at any moment. So, I figured an introduction should be in order.”

“You’re really enjoying the idea of confrontation,” Virgil murmured as he looked around worriedly.

“Shut up,” Dustin commanded, raising his hand. Virgil flinched at the act. “I think they’re coming.”

Through the trees, the two angels could scarcely make out the golden edges of Roman’s wings. They could also hear the rage filling Roman’s voice.

“... he just thinks he can do everything he has done to you and Patton and Thomas, then he has another thing coming!”

“I appreciate the gusto, Roman, but do be careful with that sword. Your grand physical gestures have you swinging it rather close to my face.”

“He’s with Logan,” Virgil said in a hushed tone. “But I don’t see Patton anywhere.”

“The coward’s probably crying somewhere,” Dustin said with a smirk. “Now come on. We need to get closer.”

Virgil followed behind Dustin obediently. “Patton’s not a coward,” he said to himself.

“What exactly do you plan to do when you see him?” Logan asked.

“Well, I won’t kill him,” Roman said as he adjusted the blade in his hand. “That would upset Patton too much. But I’ll definitely make him suffer for what he’s done. As for this Dustin character. I don’t see any issue in disposing of him.”

“No!!” Virgil shrieked as he jumped out of his hiding place. “You can’t do that!!”

“Great job you dunce! You’ve completely ruined the plan!” Dustin spoke as he slowly made his way out of the crowded woods.

Roman didn’t seem prepared for the two dark angels to suddenly appear. He stared at them, bewildered. The grip on his sword tightened. Logan took a few well-sized steps back.

Despite not using his sword for months, Roman never lost his marksmanship. His movements were precise and methodical as he charged towards Anxiety. The anxious angel did nothing in order to defend himself. He felt the edge of the sword make contact with his body, and let out a monstrous scream as it tore diagonally across his chest. The small angel fell to the grassy floor as he clutched an arm around himself.

“Anxiety!” Logan couldn’t help but let out a cry of concern. He didn’t dare move closer though. He couldn’t tell if Roman was going to stop anytime soon.

Roman had turned his attention to the green-eyed foe before him. With Anxiety incapacitated, he could easily tackle his opponent without interruptions. He stepped past Anxiety’s shaking frame and approached Dustin fearlessly. Roman stood like a giant over Dustin’s small body, but neither angel showed any care for the others.

“You have two options,” Roman said sternly. “You can either leave Thomas’ being without any harm coming to you, or I can kill you.”

“Neither of those sound all too pleasant,” Dustin said, his eyes tracing every inch of Roman’s frame. “But if it will comfort you all, I’ll take the former over the latter. My time with this host has technically expired with your return anyway.”

Dustin spun on his heels and slowly made his was out of the dreamspace. His movements were so fluid; he almost looked like a snake moving through grass. Roman watched with disdain as he held back every urge to charge after the blond disgrace. He knew murdering another angel was illegal, but Dustin had torn his family apart. That was unforgivable.

Roman looked down as he felt a hand wrap around his ankle. Anxiety let out a whimper as he watched the one angel he trusted leave him behind. His trembling body fell once again as Roman shook him off. The prince then crouched until he was inches from Anxiety’s face.

“You’re lucky I didn’t kill you both,” he huffed before turning around. “Logan, we’re leaving.”

“But Anxiety... he’s-”

“He’s not our problem. The wound isn’t that deep so he won’t scar. We don’t need to worry about him right now.”

Logan looked down at Anxiety longingly, but silently acquiesced. He stepped with caution around Anxiety’s body and followed Roman out of the dreamspace.

Patton was still sitting on the edge of Roman’s bed, gently tugging on the corner of the sheets. He stared out towards the hallway and waited for the others to return. He let out a sigh of relief when he saw Logan enter the room. He jumped to his feet and ran towards the angel.

“I thought I saw Dustin run down the hall, and there was this bright flash. Is he gone? Did Roman send him away?”

“Yes. Yes I did,” Roman said proudly as he made his way inside. “Although, he left much easier than I was anticipating.”

Patton leaned past the two angels in front of him. “Where is Anxiety? Was he not with you guys?”

“Actually... he’s um-”

“I’m sure he’s still in his room!” Roman shouted over Logan’s attempted explanation.

“...Okay,” Patton said trying to hide his confusion. “I’m gonna get a head start on dinner, then. I’m making pasta!”

“That’s my favorite!” Roman said in a chipper tone.

“I know!” Patton said as he made his way down the hall.

Once he was out of earshot, Logan gave Roman a judgmental look. “You can’t keep that hidden forever. He’ll find out what you did one way or another.”

“And until then, I have nothing to worry about.”

Logan shook his head and went to his own room to hide his shame. Roman stood confidently in his room, feeling like he had accomplished greatness upon his return.

Virgil’s head was pounding as he attempted to stand up. He wasn’t sure how long he had been unconscious, but the last thing he remembered was seeing the blurred outline of Logan’s wings as he left the dreamspace.

He hissed in pain as he remembered how casually Dustin had left him. He felt alone. Betrayed. Deceived...

Virgil wanted his mind to go anywhere else it this moment. He wanted to erase the image of Roman slashing him from his mind. The feeling of Dusty leaving him for good. The sight of everyone leaving him alone.

Hot tears filled his eyes at the realization that he was alone. Roman just got back and already hates him. Dustin was gone. Logan won’t help him. He doesn’t even know where Patton is. He wanted someone to help him. Not just with his physical predicament. He wanted to be forgiven.

He never meant for things to go this far.


	13. Chapter 13

How much time had passed since everyone had left him? Virgil honestly couldn’t tell how long he’d been in the dreamspace. Time worked differently there, and it had been nighttime for what felt like an eternity. His chest still ached from where Roman had slashed him. Each breath brought him another wave of pain.

Part of him wanted to leave. To tell the others it had all been an act. Another part of him wanted to just stay there and die. He could feel the blood soaking through his clothes, and figured if he waited long enough he’d just die. He wouldn’t have to face the others then. He could just stay there and have them forget about him.

It was beyond apparent that Roman no longer cared about Virgil. Witnessing the shift from him going to hug him to cutting his chest open hurt Virgil more than his wound. He could feel that Logan wanted to do something, but Roman probably wouldn’t let him. Virgil still had no idea where Patton was.

At least, that was before he heard footsteps near him.

Despite still being in a great deal of pain, Virgil picked himself off the forest floor and ran as fast as his body would take him. The footsteps around him only grew louder. His own footsteps fell heavy and loud as he occasionally shouted in pain. As Virgil ran deeper into the dreamspace, the forest grew thicker and thicker. Virgil nearly ran into a tree when he felt something grab his leg. It looked like a giant snake was wrapping around him. He didn’t have time to know for certain before he felt his head hit something hard.

Virgil awoke to find himself back in his room with Dustin. Except, Virgil was looking at another version of himself with Dustin. From when their plan was first being made. Virgil couldn’t help but note how different he looked now. He used to just look like a scared teenager, and now he looked like a monster. The conversation he had fallen into was about just that.

“But how am I supposed to hide my fear?” The past Virgil said in a fearful voice.

“Hide what you don’t want them to know,” Dustin said calmly. “What they don’t know can’t hurt you.”

“So... you want me to hide all my fears and insecurities just so I can better manipulate the others?”

“Yes! That is literally what I just said. You’re such an idiot sometimes I swear.”

“Please don’t get upset with me,” Virgil said, nearly crying. “I just want to make you happy.”

“I know baby,” Dustin said as he pulled Virgil into a loose hug. There wasn’t anything comforting about the image. “You just need to preserve the image of yourself that you want to push onto them. Preserve your self-image and I will be so happy.”

“Okay... I can do that.”

The image of the two angels vanished from Virgil’s sight as a new image appeared. It was Thomas, lying awake in his bed. The clock read that it was nearing two in the morning. Virgil saw the shadow of himself standing in the corner. All the angels can talk to Thomas at this point, but Virgil was the only one taking advantage of this ability. He could hear his own voice, low and distorted, filling Thomas’ head with his own fears.

“They aren’t even your friends. They hate you. They only ever talk to you as a way to be nice. They don’t care about your interest. They can probably tell your gay. No one likes you. You’ll never make it in the real world.”

Virgil watched himself bombard Thomas with anxious thoughts as his host shifted uncomfortably in his bed. He hated seeing how he was treating Thomas, but he also knew some of the things he was saying were a means to protect him. Thomas’ shouldn’t just believe everyone likes him. He shouldn’t go too in depth on his interest in case people get bored. Virgil was just looking out for Thomas in his own twisted way.

The others never took it as that. The image of Thomas was replaced with Logan staring at a wall, a coffee cup upside-down in his shaking hand. He hadn’t gotten any sleep. He had heard what Virgil had said and he had stayed up for hours trying to counteract all of the negative thoughts. His left wing was twitching wildly as he quietly mumbled nonsense reasoning to himself.

Patton was in the central mindspace, trying to pull Thomas through the day with positive reassurance. He was constantly looking over his shoulder to see Logan’s rigid frame. This had happened constant, and it was only a matter of time before he collapsed. As if on cue, that’s exactly what Logan did. Patton rushed over and caught the smarter angel before his wings smashed into the floor. Virgil watched in agony at what had become of his family. He knew it was all his fault.

“I’m sorry Patton. I’m sorry Logan. I’m so so sorry,” Virgil whispered as that image vanished as well.

Virgil was back in the dreamspace. He was out of the woods and standing near a lake. He felt a burning thirst in his throat and impulsively leaned down to get a drink. He paused only for a second as more pain went through his torso.

The water was cool and refreshing, but the pleasantry only lasted for a moment. Virgil felt something twitching in his stomach, rising back up his throat. The sight of his own vomit caused him to retch once more, and he was left shaking on all fours. He turned on his back and stared up at the unmoving stars.

“Not even the dreamspace is safe for me,” Virgil said to himself.

Virgil felt something drop into his hand. His fingers naturally wrapped around it. A handle. He pulled the item up to discover a dagger, small and silver, reflecting moonlight in all directions.

“These are my dreams,” Virgil realized. “This is what I want.”

Virgil turned the dagger so it was angled towards his heart. Without a second thought, he dropped the blade into his chest.

Virgil sank into darkness then. He wasn’t terrified of it though. It felt safe, like he was being wrapped in someone’s arms. The hug was warm and comforting. Virgil couldn’t remember the last time he had been hugged like this. He couldn’t hold back the tears forming in his eyes.

Anxiety cried very loudly. He tossed and turned and screamed and cried. It would be terrifying to anyone. Anyone but Patton.

The fatherly angel had spent hours looking for the darker angel. He finally found him, alone in a field, near a lake, with a dagger poking out of his chest. He had enough common sense to not pull it out, but he was rather frightened by Anxiety’s appearance.

He hadn’t been gone for too long, but the dreamspace can have a dreadful affect on someone like Anxiety. He’s never meant to go in there alone. His body looked grey and ghastly, and the blood surrounding him wasn’t helping much. Patton did his best to dismiss the image as he easily placed the smaller angel into his arms and made his way out of the dreamspace.

He was going to have a rather important chat with Roman once he insured Anxiety’s safety.

Virgil woke up in Patton’s room. Bandages were wrapped around his chest, and his shirt and jacket were carefully folded on a chair nearby. His eyes scanned around the room to see Patton wasn’t with him.

Virgil groaned as he pulled himself out of bed. He always took the longest to heal out of all the angels. He didn’t bother putting on his shirt and only grabbed his hoodie as he made his way to the central mindspace. He didn’t want to go there, but it was the only way to get to his room.

It was a long walk filled with things Virgil really didn’t want to think about. How much had Patton seen of him? How long was he gone? What’s happened in that time? All the questions were making Virgil’s already aching head hurt more.

He was a few feet away for the mindspace when he heard a voice from nearby. It was Patton, and he was fuming.

“I don’t care how upset you were! You left him in there for three days!! The marks on his chest are infected, he’s dehydrated and starving, and he’s been hallucinating for who knows how long!! You could have at least taken him out of the dreamspace! You know how he can be in there!!! He could have seen so many terrible things in there!! But you didn’t think and now he’s sick!!”

“But-” Roman tried to interject.

“There is no ‘but’ to this!! Yes, his behavior with Dustin was not acceptable, but that does not give you any right to attack him and leave him alone like that!! He is a part of this family and you should have treated him as such! Logan told me you left Dustin leave without a scratch and you just left Anxiety to bleed out in the woods!! Nothing about that is right, Roman!! It’s not right!!”

Virgil slid around the corner, pressing most of his weight against the wall. He tried to keep quiet, but another wave of pain made that impossible.

“Fuck!” Virgil shouted as he hunched over in pain.

“Anxiety!” Patton ran over to smaller angel. “What are you doing out of bed?!”

“Stop shouting...” Anxiety whispered.

“Oh gosh, sorry.” Patton lowered his voice.

“I just want to go to my room, I don’t want to be here.”

“Well we don’t want you here either,” Roman said, holding his sword in a defensive position.

“Jerk,” Anxiety half-whispered, half-shouted. “It’s your fault I’m hurt.”

“And it was your brilliant idea to tear my family apart!”

Roman stepped closer, preparing to slash his sword through Anxiety once again. Anxiety rose up in defense, trying to make himself appear more threatening. He couldn’t hide the shaking in his legs or the color draining from his face, though. Roman snarled as he took another step towards the smaller angel.

“Don’t fight!” Patton interjected. “It’s not helping anything.”

Roman took another step forward, sneering as he watched Anxiety struggle to stand up straight. The smaller angel let out a groan as he attempted to make himself more threatening. His body suddenly ran cold.

“...I-I need to lie down,” Anxiety whispered before feeling his body go limp.

“Oh jeez!” Patton exclaimed as he swept Anxiety into his arms. “A little help, Roman?”

“No. He’s your problem now,” Roman said as he stretched his wings and vanished from the mindspace.

Patton brought Anxiety to the couch. He grabbed a blanket and carefully pulled it up to Anxiety’s chest. He stopped short and decided to double-check his injury. He slowly pulled away the bandages on Anxiety’s chest and gawked at the bright red lines on his chest. He wished he knew of a way to help Anxiety. 

Patton gently traced his fingers along the marks, and he gasped in shock at what was happening. Somehow, Patton’s touch was causing the lines on Anxiety’s chest to disappear. He had no idea how, but he wasn’t going to stop now. Slowly, gently, Patton worked to remove any evidence of Roman’s attack.

Once Patton had finished, he stared at Anxiety’s clean chest, watching it gently rise and fall. The small angel looked so calm and at peace. Patton carefully moved Anxiety’s black hair from his forehead and admired his facial features. Without even thinking, Patton leaned over and gently placed his lips on Anxiety’s. It wasn’t the worst the first kiss, but it did end with Anxiety shoving Patton off of him.

“What the fuck was that?!”

“Sorry! I just-- It’s just that-- I still care about you,” Patton said innocently.

“Given everything I’ve done, I find that hard to believe,” Anxiety said as he sat up. “You’re caring about something else.”

“I don’t know how much of what you did was you and how much was Dustin.” Patton hesitated for a moment. “But I still care about you, Anxiety.”

“That’s great, Pat, but I’m a lost cause at this point and you shouldn’t waste your time. Go pine after Logan or something.”

Anxiety stood up and left before Patton could say anything else. He could see the tears in Patton’s eyes and knew he would only feel worse if he saw the other angel crying. He turned the corner and made his way back to his room.

Virgil didn’t question how the marks on his chest disappeared. He didn’t care. He had an image to maintain. Patton had seen him crying. Patton had seen him weak. He couldn’t have that happening again. 

After finding a clean shirt to put on, Virgil rifled through his things until he found a palette of dark eye shadow. He placed the makeup carefully under his eyes. If he cried, the eye shadow would be ruined. He would never let it be ruined.

He stared at himself in the mirror, proudly nodding at his idea. The eye shadow was too dramatic, but it was enough. He knew that now he would accomplish less without Dustin, but he was still prepared to do anything he could to protect Thomas. Even if it bothered the others.

He knew he couldn’t handle being Virgil anymore. From now on, he would refer to himself strictly as Anxiety.


	14. Chapter 14

It had been months. Nothing had gotten better between the emotionally-charged angels. Roman and Anxiety could hardly stand being in the same room for more than ten minutes. Patton hated seeing the two of them so upset with each other. Logan tried to avoid all the conflict and mainly focused on getting Thomas through college with decent marks. It was a rare occurrence for all the angels to gather in the mindspace to work through everything.

Roman and Patton sat next the couch together. Patton was curled up on the far end while Roman sat closer to the stairs. His hand was tightly gripping the hilt of his sword as he stared down at Anxiety. The darker angel returned with a sneer as he picked at the bandage around his waist. The two never seemed to stop fighting, no matter how many times Anxiety had gotten hurt.

This most recent injury was actually a success for both of them.

Anxiety had been sneaking up on the others constantly. He would tear apart Logan’s book, hide Patton’s treasured photo albums, and do everything he could to make Roman fight him.

Some cases simply involved altering the dreamspace until Thomas’ nightmares were too much for Roman to deal with. Other days, he would actively find Roman and attack him on his own account. Anxiety never cared much for swords; he always fought with a set of twin daggers. 

Roman was reaching a point when he always on edge- fearing another strike from Anxiety. He started to carry more than just a sword with him. He soon had a small collection of throwing knives he could conjure at will.

He didn’t mean to seriously hurt anyone. He wasn’t thinking straight. He never thinks straight.

Anxiety had a knife in his jacket, pinning him to a wall. Roman’s sword was dragging along the hallway floor. He didn’t even realize what he had done until Logan was pulling him away from the pool of blood.

Anxiety refused to let Patton heal him. He didn’t want any of the others to touch him. He had wanted Roman to hurt him all along. It’s what he deserves.

Logan rose up in the central mindspace, looking a bit worn out. He had been the first to start observing Thomas in the real world. He had quickly learned to hide his wings, he also learned he could only do so for about three hours, and he would interact directly with Thomas to help him with any academic struggles.

The intelligent angel fell to his knees as his wings erupted out of his shirt. Patton instinctively jumped off the couch to help Logan to his feet.

“How is he? Is he doing alright?” Patton always bombarded Logan with questions upon his return. “Are all his classes going okay?”

“He’s doing fine, Patton. He is doing everything to the best of his ability, with my assistance of course. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to get a bit of rest. Finals week is quickly approaching.”

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Patton asked as he stood patiently in the center of the room.

“Oh!” Logan turned towards Roman. “You should help Thomas run over his lines for the upcoming show. He’s struggling with the second act quite a bit.”

Roman nodded and focused to remove his wings before disappearing from the scene. He paused for a moment to give a cautious glare to Anxiety. Logan turned to leave again.

“No!” Patton said as he jumped up and down like a child. He raised his eyebrows as a way to suggest something more.

“Oh... OH!” Logan paced over to give Patton a gentle kiss on the cheek. “I apologize. Affection is still a new concept to me.”

“Good night, Logan,” Patton said, making no attempt to hide his blushing cheeks.

Anxiety let out a small groan as he made his way up off the stairs. Patton came over to help, but Anxiety let out a hiss in response.

“Go follow your boyfriend,” he said coldly.

“Anxiety... You can’t just avoid us forever. If you just talk to us, we could start to work past everything. We don’t need to stay hung up on it. Dustin is gone, and you’re still acting like he’s controlling you. You don’t have to keep doing this. We can help you.”

“I don’t want your help,” Anxiety said as he sidestepped around the father figure. If there was one angel he didn’t want to touch him at all, it was Patton.

Patton stood alone as the dark figure disappeared down the narrow corridor.

Anxiety liked it when Roman had to work with Thomas. It meant he could toy with the dreamspace alone. He had gotten pretty skilled at knowing when to stop working; his intrusive thoughts were always lurking behind every turn.

Tonight’s nightmare was spectacular. The dragon was hidden deep within a cave, and it would take Roman forever to find it. Even if he could, the thing was far too powerful for him to handle alone. That dragon could live in Thomas’ dreams for years to come. Anxiety was proud of himself.

He felt the darkness start to surround him. It would be a matter of minutes before he neared death once more. He staggered forward as a wave of pain ran through his body. He took one last glance at his creation.

“Please make me proud, my lovely,” He whispered before fleeing the dreamspace as fast as possible.

Roman looked like he hadn’t slept for weeks. Because he hadn’t. Between helping Thomas in the real world and fending off monsters in his dreamspace while tracking down a... DRAGON?!! He was barely able to fit in time for himself or the others.

Anxiety sat on the kitchen counter while he watched the other angels mingle during breakfast. Patton was cheery as always, but continuously gave longing glances to Anxiety. Logan was caught up in a Rubik’s Cube, and Roman stared blankly into his cup of coffee.  
“I’m going to my room,” Anxiety said as he jumped off the counter. “Don’t bother bringing me food. I’m not hungry.”

“I’ll check on you later!” Patton called down the hallway.

“No you won’t!!” Anxiety replied.

Patton tried to place his attention somewhere else. “Roman... You feeling okay? You look a little troubled.”

“Then I’m putting on a good front because I am very troubled, Patton.” Roman said as he finally looked up from his mug.

“Can you talk about it?”

“Anxiety has been toying with mine and Thomas’ dreams ever since that demon left us. And now he’s got some sort of a dragon hidden where I can’t find it and it’s making a total mess out of all my creations. It seems like the more I look for it, the worse things get.”

“So stop looking for it,” Logan said calmly. “And before you yell and ask why, I’ll explain. It’s driving off the fact that you are trying so hard to find it. It will never be found if you keep actively seeking it. The best thing to do is ignore it until it becomes an imminent threat to you or Thomas.”

“But it’s a monster and it’s kind of my thing to go and kill monsters!” Roman protested.

“And how do you plan to kill something you can’t even find?”

“I- um- I’m going to my room,” Roman stammered before disappearing from the table.

Patton gave Logan a confused look. “Do you think those two will ever get things worked out?”

“We are set to be with Thomas through his entire lifetime. If they manage to spend all that time fighting, it would honestly surprise me. We will all have rises and falls with one another. I’m sure they will end their quarrel eventually.”

“I hope they do it soon... Anxiety has me worried.”

“That is well within his nature, Patton. You know that, we’ve been over this.”

“I know I know,” Patton said glumly. “Doesn’t change the fact that I’m worried.”

Anxiety slammed his door as he frantically searched for a mirror. He could feel his hands trembling as his body ran cold. He clutched the black cloak that covered his mirror and pulled it to the floor. He should be used to the sight before him at this point, but it still shocked him to see himself.

His eyes were glowing purple. Vibrant purple. Black veins could be seen from underneath his eye shadow. He looked behind himself and saw an image he always feared. Dustin. Or at least the a made-up version of him.

“You’re getting worse at this, Virgil,” the demonic entity whispered.

“Don’t call me that!” Anxiety huffed. Black smoke poured out of his mouth with each huffing breath.

“You’re different from them. It’s only a matter of time before one of them finds out.” Dustin’s voice was cold and distant in Anxiety’s ears.

“They won’t find out! I’m in control.” Anxiety’s voice was getting deeper with every word.

“Clearly you aren’t” Dustin said as he gestured to the mirror.

Anxiety screamed as he pushed the mirror to the floor. That must have been the twelfth time that had happened since Dustin left. Some experiences weren’t so bad. Some were downright terrible. Part of him really did miss Dustin, even though he had hurt him so deeply.

The shuffling under his door was enough to distract Anxiety from his dwelling on the past. Anxiety turned in time to see a piece of paper under his door and the shadow of someone walking away.

Anxiety picked up the letter without a thought. He could tell from the writing that it was from Patton. He tossed it onto his desk with all the others. Patton gave him a letter at least once a week. Anxiety never read them. He could never bring himself to read them.

Anxiety heard footsteps coming back to his door.

“Anxiety?” Patton’s voice sounded rough.

No response.

“Anxiety I know you’re in there.”

Still nothing.

“I don’t know if you read any of my letters, but that was the last one. It’s fine if you don’t want to talk to us, but I can’t keep trying if you won’t give me anything to work with. I know you need help, but if you won’t take it I’ll stop. If you want any sort of help, you’ll have to come to me directly. And I’ll help you. Because I love you.”

There was a strong beat of silence.

“Did you hear me? I love you, Anxiety. In a way that’s different from how I love Logan or Roman. I want to help you and protect you and let you know that you are loved. Whatever you’re doing, I can help you with. I won’t leave you. I love you too much to leave you.”

Anxiety threw the door open and watched Patton jump back in horror. Black smoke poured out of his room.

“Leave. Me. Alone.” Anxiety’s voice was darker than his clothes.

Patton scurried off with tears in his eyes.

Anxiety sighed as he closed his door once more. He sank to his knees and forced himself to hold back tears.

“I love you, too.”

He needed this to happen. He needed to keep all of them away from him. He needed to be left alone. And he hated that so much. He hated forcing Roman to go without sleep. He hated pushing Patton to the brink of tears just to keep him away. He hated ignoring Logan and ruining his things. But it needed to happen.

It was to keep all of them safe. Safe from him.


	15. Chapter 15

Things have settled out fairly well in the past few years. Roman, Patton, and Logan were all doing their absolute best to keep Thomas’ life together. Logan was more focused on keeping Thomas healthy since his schooling experience was mostly complete. Patton was maintaining all of Thomas’ relationships and making sure his friends and family were happy. Anxiety had toned back a bit from attacking the others, but he still made his voice heard during important conversations. Roman was getting bored, and he was in desperate need for a creative outlet.

He had found one, but he was yet to do anything with it. He wanted to do something, but he felt he should approach the others before doing anything to avoid controversy. Logan had become curious about the topic before Roman got his chance.

“Roman, You made Thomas download this “Vine” app months ago. He has been producing short videos daily and each one possesses no sense of structure. He is acting completely on impulse without any input from you. Do you actually have any format pertaining to how you want him use it?” Logan asked as he paced back and forth through the mindspace.

“Actually, yes. I do,” Roman huffed in return. “I was just waiting for the right time to talk about it.”

“Why wait? Just go for it!” Patton beamed to encourage the fanciful angel. “You have so many good ideas and you should let Thomas share them!”

“Well then, what is your big idea Roman?” Logan asked as he stood before the prince.

“It has been years since Thomas has truly performed. I propose that we allow him to continue performing through this platform. But rather than have him acting on impulse, I derive some of my own ideas into his videos! Not only would I have an outlet for my ideas, but it would also provide funny and relatable content for the people!” Roman said, making grand gestures as he spoke.

“You want to put all your ideas out on the internet?” Anxiety asked nervously. “Don’t you know how judgmental people are on the internet? I thought we’ve been learning that from experience. All it takes is one bad idea and they’ll destroy him. You can’t possibly think this is a good plan.”

“Anxiety, we can’t shut Roman down without even trying his idea,” Patton said in a reassuring tone. “Who knows? Maybe people will love the videos and want to see more of them!”

“But you don’t know that for sure. Logan, are you on board with this?”

Logan adjusted his glasses before speaking. “I have some speculations, but I would like to keep a record of success rates before giving a final verdict. As of right now, I am indifferent to the notion.”

Anxiety sighed and left without saying another word. He wasn’t in the mood to argue tonight. He would get his chance to speak his mind eventually.

Patton turned back to Roman, a smile on his face stretching from ear to ear. “So, what should we have Thomas post first?”

Roman pulled a list out of thin air. “I’m glad you asked! I’ve got plenty ideas, and I’ve already narrowed it down to a few pretty decent ones.”

“Ooooo I wanna see,” Patton said as he eagerly pressed himself against Roman’s shoulder. 

“I’ve got impressions written here, short sketch comedy here, harmless pranks written down here,” Roman continued to ramble off his ideas, pausing briefly to take in Patton’s input. The two angels passed suggestions back and forth as they looked through the list.

Logan smirked at the two happily brainstorming, and he decided to make sure Anxiety was doing alright. He could tell Patton and Roman wouldn’t mind his absence, so he quietly disappeared from the scene. He had grown accustomed to simply transporting from room to room, but Anxiety had somehow found a way to keep the others out. Logan carried himself as far as he could, and stopped short before he reached Anxiety’s door.

The smaller angel must have sensed Logan coming because he was standing in the doorway with his arms folded. Logan approached Anxiety slowly, and stopped when there was a good six inches between them. The two didn’t make eye contact as they silently entered Anxiety’s room. Logan sat at Anxiety’s desk while the darker angel sat at the foot of his bed.

“So who talks first? You talk first? I talk first?” Anxiety rambled as he tapped his fingers on his leg.

“I understand your dejection centered around Thomas showing himself on such a grand scale, but you must understand how important it is. Roman and Patton were with Thomas for a longer time than the two of us. This causes him to be more driven by those two aspects of his personality; his morals and creativity. He is mainly destined to create and attempt to share positivity with others. We can’t exactly stop him from doing that, and I’m not sure how wise it would be to protest.”

Anxiety chewed on his thumb before speaking. “Okay... but what if this whole video thing starts taking off? What if people across the country start noticing him? I don’t think he can handle that attention- I know I can’t.”

“It will take time for all of us to adjust, but I’m sure things will settle out in time. We’ll just have to be patient.”

“I guess I can try that,” Anxiety said reluctantly.

Logan stood up from the desk and prepared to leave. “I’m going to see how Roman and Patton’s brainstorming is going. I’ll come check on you again later.”

Anxiety bounced his leg rapidly. “Hey Logan?”

“Hm?”

“Thank you... for not being so afraid of me...”

“I’m not sure if that’s worthy of your thanks, but you’re welcome, Anxiety.”

Anxiety chuckled and shook his head. Logan couldn’t help but smile as he exited the room. The two didn’t share much time alone together, but they were fond of the other’s company.

Roman and Patton were surrounded by crumpled up pieces of paper, both of them frantically scribbling down their thoughts. Most of Patton’s were just positive spins on Roman’s pranks and misleading compliments. Roman was writing page after page and hardly said a word as he worked.

“I’ve got it!” Roman exclaimed as he slammed his hands on his desk.

“What? What do you got?” Patton said as he scrambled over to the prince.

“What if we put ourselves in the Vines?!”

“How? I don’t think people would respond well to seeing angels in the real world.”

“Well... we could-- um-”

“How about we tweak the idea a little bit?” Patton leaned closer to Roman. “Thomas does have a decent following on Vine. Maybe we can build up characters similar to us and put them in the videos! And Thomas does have a YouTube channel! If things go well with characters who kinda look and act like us, maybe people will like seeing the real us, too!”

“That’s not a bad plan, Patton. I can definitely work with that idea. Thank you.”

“Aww it’s no big deal, kiddo. Just thinking off the top of my head.”

“Well... it still means a lot.”

Patton looked down at his watch. “Oh jeez, I should start making dinner! I think we made some good progress on this, Roman. Clean up and take a break before dinner; you don’t need to overwork yourself right now.”

“I will Pat, don’t worry.”

“I’ll see you in a bit,” Patton said as he stood up. Without even thinking, he placed a gentle kiss on Roman’s cheek. “I-- um-- that was-”

“It’s alright Patton,” Roman said with a grin. “You don’t have to feel ashamed or embarrassed about it.”

“...Right.” Patton nervously chuckled. “I’ll come get you when dinner is ready.”

Patton turned to leave then. Both angels buried their face in their hands as they felt the blood rushing to their cheeks. This feeling was a new revelation that neither of them planned to ignore.

A few months had past, and the Internet had taken to Roman’s ideas fairly well. The characters and jokes were becoming notable features of Thomas’ online persona. Logan was willing to assist in formatting the videos and making sure editing was done properly for compilations on YouTube. Anxiety was relieved to see so many people enjoying Roman and Patton’s work, but he would still find himself hung up on negative comments from time to time.

Roman and Patton were over the moon when they saw how much people liked their characters. They were a bit impartial to the characters based around themselves; a dashing Disney prince and an extremely joking father. They couldn’t help but laugh at people’s responses to Logan’s character, who was a laid back teacher. Logan was less than thrilled about this character.

“The only thing that makes us similar is our glasses. I don’t even own a blue tie!” Logan spoke in an annoyed tone as he pressed his back against a wall.

“But you could!” Patton exclaimed in excitement.

“Would you care to explain?”

“Well...” Roman seemed hesitant to respond. “We figured... one day we might talk to Thomas as ourselves rather than strangers. The best way to go about that may be to express more accurately to the characters loosely inspired by us.”

“What about Anxiety?” Logan inquired. “You never made an actual character for him. It’s just Thomas with the label of “Anxiety” written on his chest.”

“Anxiety doesn’t have wings so I doubt he can even talk to Thomas,” Roman said as a matter of fact. “And people like seeing Thomas playing that role rather than a recurring character.”

“Roman, don’t be so harsh,” Patton said gently. “Anxiety has had a rough time with this change. He won’t even come out of his room. You shouldn’t talk bad just because he’s not here.”

“I’m sorry, Patton. I know it upsets you when I talk like that.” Roman turned back to Logan. “If Anxiety can interact with Thomas, I’ll consider adding him to the videos.”

Patton coughed and jabbed an elbow at Roman.

“Okay... I will make sure that he gets his own character without a doubt.”

“Very well,” Logan said sternly. “I’m still displeased with my character, but I don’t think I can do anything to change your mind at this point. I’m going back to my room. Please try not to disturb me.”

“Don’t work too hard!” Patton said brightly.

Logan gave a small grin before disappearing from the mindspace. He arrived outside of Anxiety’s door. There was no need to knock; Anxiety only let Logan into his room nowadays.

Anxiety’s room was a total mess. His journals were thrown all around the place, his desk was flipped over, and the sheets had been ripped off his beds. Logan scanned the room to find Anxiety shivering in a corner, muttering to himself.

Logan slowly made his way over to the smaller angel, doing his best to make as little noise as possible. As he got closer, he noticed that the corner Anxiety was in was covered in tally marks and numbers. 100, 250, 500, 1000, 50,000- the numbers kept growing. It all lined up perfectly with the amount of followers on Thomas’ Vine account. Anxiety was staring furiously at the most recent number written down- 650,000. His hands trembled as he wrote out more and more marks. He didn’t seem to notice Logan crouch down beside him. Logan carefully reached his hand out and gave Anxiety a small tap on his shoulder.

Anxiety jumped back in surprise, somehow sinking further into the corner. His eyes were glowing a bright purple yet again. “Get away!” He shouted in an altered voice.

“Anxiety, it’s me. It’s Logan. I’m not gonna hurt you. It’s alright.”

“No! It’s not alright! There’s too many people! There’s too much attention- Too much pressure!! I don’t want this! I want it to stop, Logan!!! We never should have let him do this!! It’s so wrong!! I want them to stop- but I want Thomas happy- but he can’t be happy if I’m uncomfortable- or maybe I’m uncomfortable because he’s happy?!? I don’t know anymore! I just want all this attention to go away!!”

Logan watched as the small angel doubled over and let shaking breaths escape his body. Logan had come across Anxiety in a negative state before, but he’d never seen him like this before. He moved slowly towards the dark angel and ran his hand over his back in a soothing manner. He still hadn’t found the best way to calm Anxiety down, but he knew that being with him was the least he could do. All he could do now was wait it out.

Once Anxiety’s breathing had stabled some, Logan decided to make a few brief statements.

“Patton is getting worried about you. He’s noticing that you haven’t left your room much in recent weeks. Roman doesn’t seem to care much, but that’s just in his nature. They don’t know I’ve been keeping an eye on you. I still haven’t figured out why your eyes glow when you’re overly anxious, but I plan to keep looking. Thomas’ fan base is pleased with all the content he has been producing- the negative comments are greatly outweighed by the positive. Roman and Patton have been making more ideas for the future, but nothing has been finalized just yet.”

“Why am I so different?” Anxiety asked in a microscopic voice. “Why don’t I have wings yet? Why do I get so weird when I’m too anxious? Why can’t I control it?”

Logan sighed. “There are some questions that even I don’t have the answers to. I’m sure you will get your wings eventually; there’s literally no way you won’t. As for your own anxiety, my best assumption is that you are forced to channel a few too many of Thomas’ negative emotions. It may take time and effort, but you may be able to control it in the future. You have your entire existence to figure everything out. I’m still trying to research everything pertaining to your specific abilities, and I will notify you if I’ve found anything important.”

“Logan?” Anxiety looked up finally. His eyes had settled back to their deep brown. “Can I sleep in your room tonight?”

“Of course,” Logan said as he stood up. He pulled Anxiety off the floor and straightened up his jacket. “Clean that makeup off your face. I’ll pick up this mess and we can head out.”

“There isn’t any makeup on my face,” Anxiety said as his eyes fled to the floor. “The marks under my eyes won’t go away and I don’t know why.”

There was a beat of silence before Logan spoke. “We’ll figure all of this out in time, Anxiety. Let’s just get some rest for now. Busy days are coming ahead.”

Logan extended a hand for Anxiety to take, and the pair made their way out of the mess on the floor and down the hall. Logan could still feel Anxiety shaking a bit, but he was completely calm by the time they reached Logan’s room. Once in bed, Anxiety pulled Logan close and buried his face in the larger angels chest. Logan still wasn’t the best when it came to affection, but he felt some unknown feeling when he looked at how peaceful Anxiety appeared. He might be able to get used to such a feeling.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back from hiatus so everyone can stop asking. This goes on my Tumblr Friday, but I couldn't wait to come back so here you go!!!

The idea had been set up wonderfully. A masterful concept created by Logan and Roman that was somehow done with minimal bickering and only one physical fight. They had held back on pushing into Thomas’ subconscious, but once it was set there was nothing they could do about it.

It was mid-October, and Patton, Roman, and Logan had all decided to finally talk to Thomas as themselves. They all had a rough idea about how they would present their identities to him, and they were just putting the last few finishing touches on their appearance.

“Roman hold still! We have to get this sash on right.” Patton grunted as he tried to hold down the fidgeting angel.

“But it’s uncomfortable!” Roman whined in response. “And why do we have to put it on this way?”

“Because we can’t slide it over your wings,” Logan noted. “We have to start at the base and work it underneath them. It’ll be easier once we get it established properly.”

“But Thomas won’t even see our wings! If we’re keeping them hidden, it doesn’t matter!”

“Roman, I know for a fact you are never one to avoid accessorizing. We can’t afford you ripping apart a sash every time your wings are exposed. This will make it easier for all of us.”

“Shut up Logan,” Roman sneered. “With all your logic and nonsense.”

“That- that doesn’t make sense. How can logic be nonsense?”

“Play nice you two,” Patton said sternly. “There ya go, Roman. I think I got it fitted right! Might take some getting used to, but you look amazing in red!”

“Oh thank you Patton!” Roman said, not bothering to hide the blushing of his cheeks. “Now about your cardigan...”

“Oh! There’s no worries there,” Patton said, beaming. “My wings are so small, the fit fine underneath it! It’s not uncomfortable or anything!”

“Great! And Logan-”

“Roman, you have already made me change my tie seven times. I’m not doing it again.”

“I was just going to say that blue is a dashing color for you.”

“Oh-uh... Thank you, Roman,” Logan tried to brush off how flustered he was by the comment. “So everything is settled then? This is what we’re wearing from now on?”

“It’s at the very least what we’ll wear when we’re with Thomas,” Roman stated. “What we wear in our down time is irrelevant.”

“So... who’s going to do this first?” Patton wondered as he played with the cardigan sleeves.

“I’ll do it!” Roman shouted proudly before turning to see Logan was already gone. “Ah-,” he gasped loudly as he placed a hand dramatically on his chest. “Ummm... Rude.”

“Go on ahead, Roman,” Patton said as he took a step back. “I’ll let you have your moment.”

Roman nodded and disappeared from the scene. Patton took one last look around the room before disappearing himself. He didn’t notice the shadowed figure at the end of the hall.

Anxiety stood alone, staring around at the completely empty mindspace. He’d never been alone before. He always knew where the others were. To be entirely by himself was an unfamiliar feeling to him. It was only for a few minutes, but it was enough to have him rushing back to his room.

When the others came back, Logan and Roman both beamed at what they deemed to be a successful introduction. Patton was the only one who could tell something was wrong. And Roman could tell Patton was upset.

“Dearest, what’s wrong?” Roman nudged Patton’s arm. “Are you not satisfied with what we’ve just accomplished?”

“No, it’s not that...” Patton struggled to think of what he was trying to say, “It’s just... Maybe we should’ve told Anxiety we were doing this today. You know how worried he get when we don’t tell him what we’re planning.”

“He wasn’t involved in this, so it shouldn’t be any of his concern!” Roman didn’t seem to notice he was raising his voice. “He chooses to get all up in our business and then tries to put the blame on us for not telling him stuff he doesn’t even need to know!”

“I agree with Patton on this, Roman,” Logan said as he glanced around the room. “There does appear to be a strange feeling in the mindspace. I’m going to Anxiety’s room to check on him. I’ll be back later.”

Without another word from the others, Logan disappeared from the room. He was taken aback at the sudden realization that the walls around Anxiety’s room were turning pitch black. The door was slightly ajar, and Logan didn’t bother knocking as he burst into the room.

Anxiety was curled in a ball in front of a broken mirror. His right hand was gushing blood, and he was sobbing uncontrollably. The dark marks under his eyes were more prominent than ever. Logan instinctively wrapped his arms around the smaller angel.

“Anxiety,” he spoke in the softest voice possible. “What’s wrong, dearest? Why are you crying?”

“Because,” Anxiety choked out, “you’re all going out to talk to Thomas without me. And I can’t be alone! It hurts to be alone in here! You three are all I have, and now you’re going to be spending more time out with Thomas, and I’m going to be left alone in here!!”

Another round of sobs racked through Anxiety’s small frame. Logan said nothing for a moment; trying to think of an appropriate response. 

“We aren’t going to just leave you behind.” Logan spoke slowly, making sure Anxiety would pick up every word. “We will always return from our ventures with Thomas, and once you get your wings, you will be able to join us. I know you’re worried in this moment, and it is completely valid. But you will be alright, and the three of us will always be here.”

Anxiety turned himself into Logan’s shoulder. He didn’t want to tell Logan that he has talked to Thomas, or that he fears he will never get his wings. He just needed one moment of feeling protected, and he would relish in it. He would talk with Thomas again soon enough.

“What did you do?!?” Roman was clearly furious about something.

“I was just talking to him!!” Anxiety pleaded. “I didn’t think he would send us off to see Lily!! Or that you would show up too.”

“You shouldn’t even be able to talk to him, so how’d you do it, huh?” Roman had grabbed Anxiety by the collar, and was shoving him against the wall.

Patton entered the mindspace in that moment. His paternal instincts took over, and he wedged himself in between the two angels.

“Would either of you care to explain what is happening here?”

“He started it,” Roman said while pouting.

“What did you do, Anxiety?”

“Nothing! I just went out to talk to Thomas.”

“YOU TALKED TO THOMAS AND YOU DIDN’T TELL ANYONE???”

Anxiety jumped at Patton’s outburst. “Yeah... you seem surprised.”

“Well, we just figured since you didn’t have wings, you wouldn’t be able to do that.” Patton stared at the floor while he talked. “I guess we could’ve just asked you at some point.”

“It’s all good, Pat,” Anxiety said. “I didn’t really know I could.”

“You should start coming to videos with the rest of us!! It’ll be fun!! We can all be there talking to Thomas together!”

“....Uhhhh,” Anxiety looked at Patton’s beaming face, and the utter disgust Roman presented, “Yeah. Okay, sure. I’ll do the videos with you.”

Patton practically hit the ceiling he was so excited. “Yay yay yayyyy!! C’mon- we have to go tell Logan!”

He grabbed Anxiety be the hand and dragged him down the hall- his wings bouncing as he ran. Roman stood there, clearly upset by the revelation. Anxiety couldn’t help but feel worried about what was to come though. Not necessarily about talking to Thomas more. He was more worried about what might happen to him if he started opening up more.

He shouldn’t worry now though. He won’t be alone anymore. This is a good thing. He can worry later.


	17. Chapter 17

They know my name! Holy shit they know my name! My heart is pounding right now- I can’t believe I told them my name. I shouldn’t have done that. They’re gonna tease me with it, especially Roman.

I need to go lie down. I feel like I’m gonna vomit.

Why is my room so hot? I’m burning up. This sucks- why’d they have to go looking for me?! Thomas would’ve been fine without me.

“Ah- god what is that?!”

That pain siring through my back is definitely a bad sign. I gotta lock the door. I don’t need them checking on me.

“Ow!! Fuck!!”

Another brush of pain. What is happeni-- NO! No not now! Please not now- I don’t want this now!!!

I head to my bathroom and rip of my hoodie and my shirt. I take a good look at my back in the mirror- it’s disgusting. I can see the wings trying to bust out. The muscles expanding and contracting and moving in unnatural ways. Each movement sends pain rushing through my body- making every part of me burn. I’m shaking like a fucking leaf, and it’s taking all my strength to move.

I’m so warm. If I can just get in the shower, maybe it won’t be so bad. Cold water might make this pass easier. But the bathroom suddenly feels a mile long, and every step is making me shiver worse than the last.

I practically fall face first into the tub, and I’m fumbling wildly with the shower settings. The cold water feels like needles pricking my skin, but it’s better than the fire burning inside me. How did they all go through this? This feels like absolute torture.

I can feel myself starting to black out. I need something to keep me steady. It would be so much easier to just give up, but I can’t do that. I can’t do that to Logan, or Patton. And Thomas... Thomas is just starting to understand me.

This whole time I thought they hated me, and now they believe that they all need me. That’s what caused this. The realization that I’m needed. How can something so good lead to something so horrible?

I’m choking, why am I choking?? It’s so hot even though the water’s cold. And when did I close my eyes?!

I pry my eyes open and see blood pouring down the drain. I retch forward, and more blood comes pouring out of my mouth. I feel like I’m dying. Is this what Roman went through? It’s so painful! At least he had Logan with him, but he still had to go away for months. I’m alone- I might actually die after this.

Great- now I’m crying. Each sob sends more pain rippling through my body. I don’t want to die, but I’m dying I can feel it. There’s too much pain and too much blood. I can feel myself being torn apart. There’s no way I can go on.

How long have I even been in here? Time stopped being relevant as soon as I started bleeding. It took Roman half a day to go through all of this. It already feels like I’ve been here for days. I can’t handle any more of this- I’m weak enough already.

I wish Logan was here. He’d know how to get me through this. He’s already been so helpful before. But I just had to open my mouth and tell them all to leave me alone, and now I’m in too much pain to go get anyone.

I think the blood loss might be catching up to me. I’m starting to go numb and everything feels slow. Is this what Roman felt before he died? It’s not so scary... It’s actually kind of peaceful... Like I’m meeting up with an old friend...

I’ve almost given myself over to death completely when a new wave a pain rips my back apart. Every muscle burns and releases at once. I let out a noise I didn’t even know I could make. Then everything goes white...

I remember when they met me. Thomas was eight, and the three of them were so good together. I thought the Guardians made a mistake by sending me to him. They all seemed so perfect without me.

Logan was looking through a puzzle book, Patton was eating cookies and coloring, Roman was jumping on the sofa and attempting to attack an imaginary dragon. I’ll never forget how they looked at me when I stepped into the room.

I thought Patton was gonna cry out of fear. Roman held out his foam sword as a form of defense. And Logan just stared at me. He was the only one who spoke.

“Pardon me for being so blunt, but who are you?” His voice was so stern, even at a young age.

I fumbled around in my pocket, searching for the letter I had been given. “Right um sorry. Is this- are you guys- am I with Thomas Sanders’ angels right now?”

“Indeed you are.”  
“What do you want?” Roman never liked me. He didn’t even know me and he already hated me.

“I um... I’m assigned to help you guard Thomas.” My voice was quivering so much in front of these strangers.

“What exactly do you guard?” Logan asked.

“I don’t know...” I said sheepishly. “They didn’t tell me.”

“Who?” Patton finally spoke to me. “Who didn’t tell you?”

“The older angels. The ones who brought me here. The Guardians.”

All three of them jumped back in terror at that remark.

“What? What did I do?” I put my hands up like I was getting arrested.

“You- you’ve seen the Guardians?” Roman asked, dumbfounded.

“Is that bad?” I asked in response.

“It’s exceptionally rare for any angel to see a Guardian before being sent to a host,” Logan responded. “How did you manage to meet them.”

I didn’t know how to answer. So I just told the truth. “They raised me. More or less.” That earned another step back from all of them. “For as long as I remember, they took charge of me. At least until I got a host. Is that bad?”

“No!” Patton said swiftly. “Let’s change the subject!! What’s your name?”

I hated that question. “It’s uhh... it’s embarrassing.” I stared down at the floor.

“Well... what are you here for?” Patton said with a smirk. “I used to go by ‘Morality’ because no one else was here to call me by my name? So what do you do?”

“I’m... I’m Anxiety.” I never looked up from the floor.

“Oh.....” Patton was flustered and trying to find a response. “Well, welcome to the family, Anxiety. I’m Patton! The one with the sword is Roman. And that fellow with the glasses is Logan.”

“Pleasure to make your acquaintance,” Logan said calmly.

Roman simply huffed and stormed off to his room.

“Don’t mind him,” Patton whispered. “He’s a bit of a drama queen.”

Roman never did learn to like me. I didn’t mind though. He seemed better than the other two. Patton was always trying to make me feel at home; dragging me out to movie nights and asking for my input on decisions. It just made me more uncomfortable than I already was.

Logan was pretty middle of the road when it came to me. He tried to understand me more than the others did. He always asked me hard-hitting questions about my life before being sent to Thomas, and what the Guardians were like. It wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t how I was wanting to spend my time.

Despite all our quirks and flaws, we were stuck together. We were a forced family even if I didn’t really want to be a part of it.

I can’t wait to see them again...

I wake up and everything is freezing cold.

I’m surrounded by a pile of cold, black wings.

And I feel like I might faint again.


	18. Chapter 18

Virgil was quick to discover that he had been in his room for three full days since the whole “Accepting Anxiety” arc had gone down, and he had done a pretty good job at keeping his wings hidden from the others. That was no easier task seeing as how Patton was wanting everyone to spend more time together, and the sheer size of Virge’s wings made them difficult to contain for long times. 

Virge would often leave halfway through movies, or disappear in the middle of dinner because his pain was too intense. Once in the darkness of his room, he would tear off his clothes and let his wings be exposed. Their dark feathers were so long that they drug along the floor. He hated them. The others all got such wonderfully gorgeous and fitting wings. Why did he have to be the freak? He hated imagining what would happen if the others saw his wings.

He really hated to think how Logan would react. The intellectual angel always had a suspicion that this would happen to Virgil. Logan would probably send for Virgil’s removal as soon as his eyes caught sight of their shameful appearance.

He had kept his act for almost a week, and he ended each day more exhausted than the last. He wasn’t sure how much longer he’d be able to keep this up.

All the angels were gathered in the mindspace, when Roman jumped up and exclaimed “I have an idea!”

“You always have ideas, Roman,” Logan said without looking up from his computer. “That’s literally what you’re meant to do.”

“I know I know, but I meant an idea for us!” Roman said with a smile.

“Ooooo what is it?” Patton said excitedly.

“We should spend the day in my dreamspace!! I can make a grand adventure for us all to go on!”

“Do we all have to participate?” Logan asked coldly.

Patton frowned. “C’mon, Logan. We all deserve a break after the week we had. It’ll be fun.”

Logan let out a sigh. “Fine. Just don’t expect me to have a good time.”

Patton jumped for joy and ran over to Virgil, who was staring blankly at the floor. “Are you gonna come with us, Virge?”

Virgil could never say no to Patton, not with those blue eyes beaming at him. “Yeah, Pat. Of course I’m coming.” The exhaustion in his voice was quite apparent.

All four angels made their way to Roman’s dreamspace; Roman leading them all and Virgil trailing behind. Once the door was sealed behind them, the angels found themselves within an extravagant castle. Beautifully carved stone covered the walls, and the whole building had an extremely regal feeling to it.

Roman stood before all the other angels, thinking out loud. “Let’s see. We need a story- some sort of a quest to go on. Where to begin though.... I KNOW!!! A dragon! Dragon’s are always fun. But what does it want?”

Just then, Virgil fell to his knees, gasping and sputtering. His hands wrapped around his throat as he lurched forward and coughed. In doing so, a bright blue fireball shot out of his mouth. Patton, Logan and Virgil all stared at Roman in surprise.

“I... I guess the dragon wants its child,” Roman said with a smirk.

“You turned me into a dragon?” Virgil said with a growl.

“Apparently, yes,” Roman said shyly.

“How do we correct this?” Logan asked.

“Oh that’s simple,” Roman boasted. “All we have to do is return Virgil to the dragon without being harmed.”

“And why would we be harmed?”

“Because dragons don’t speak English, and as far as it can tell we stole Virgil. So she’s going to be rather upset with us.”

Roman left without another word, and the other angels had no choice but to follow. Virgil was still stifling coughs as he made his way out. He was really hoping that the dragon they were searching for wasn’t the same one he had planted in Thomas’ mind almost 2 years ago.

“We’ve be walking for hours,” Patton whined.

“It’s been 27 minutes,” Logan said while checking his watch. “What exactly are we looking for, Roman?”

“A cave,” the prince replied. “It’s the most logical lair for a dragon. I would’ve expected you to figure that out.”

Patton raised his hand “How do we know where the cave is?”

“I don’t think it will be too difficult to find,” Roman proclaimed. “It lies within that mountain.”

The royal angel gestured just beyond the field they were walking through. A ginormous mountain piercing through the cloud rose before the angels. The side of it carved open into a noteworthy cavern face.

Logan and Patton both stared at the peak in awe. Nobody noticed Virgil crumpling to his knees. The strain from hiding his wings for so long was becoming too much for him to handle. Not to mention whatever Roman had done to him. Virgil let out a loud serious of coughs as more flames scattered in front of him.

The other angels turned to see Virgil shuttering on the ground. Patton immediately rushed to his aid, but Roman and Logan had their attention turned back to the mountain.

From the entrance of the cavern came a low growl. Suddenly, a large dragon flew out above the empty field. Its wings and body blotted out the sun as it circled overhead. Roman looked at the creature, completely dumbfounded.

“That’s not right...” he said fearfully.

“What do you mean?” Logan asked sternly.

“That... that’s not the dragon I made.”

“Then who made the dragon?”

“I don’t think we can answer that right now,” Roman said, shoving Logan away from the dragon’s path.

The beast swept just inches above the four angels, breathing purple flames around them all. Patton let out a scream in shock at seeing the creature soaring over him. Virgil was still shivering on the ground, but he was still able to catch a glimpse of the dragon as it circled back towards him.

Roman was more than ready to attack, but the dragon was too high up for his reach. His next best idea was to taunt the creature until it got closer.

“How long do you intend to keep this game going?” He shouted to the sky. “We won’t wait on you forever!”

“Roman, don’t!” Virgil said through gritted teeth. His whole body was shaking vigorously.

His words came to late as the beast dove straight for the group of angels. Roman leaped forward, determined to strike. No one was prepared for the massive plume of smoke and flames rushing towards them. Yet Roman still stood his ground.

“You idiot, MOVE!” Virgil shouted as he dove in between the prince and the dragon. He could feel his hoodie ripping apart and his wings spread out behind him. And suddenly he felt an immense heat covering his feathers.

The other angels gawked at the sight before them. It was as if Virgil had built a shield separating them from the dragon. Virgil’s backside was decorated with the bright purple flames peaking from the edges of his dark wings.

When the flames faded away, Virgil turned to speak to the hideous creature.

“Stop! Stop all of this right now!” His voice was booming and echoing through the field. “I didn’t make you for this. You aren’t made to hurt them! So just leave! Do you hear me? Disappear!”

The dragon did just that. It vanished completely in a puff of smoke. Virgil had to make a split second decision: fight or flight. Stay and explain to his family, or fly away. So he ran forward and he flew into the mouth of the cave.

“Did he just fly?” Roman said slowly.

“That... shouldn’t be possible,” Logan replied.

Roman, Logan, and Patton all stood in stunned silence at what they had just witnessed. None of them new how to handle this situation. 

Virgil went as far back in the cavern as he could manage. The hot tears rolling down his eyes felt like they would never end. He started grabbing at his feathers and ripping them out in massive clumps. An angel can’t remove their wings, so they were growing back as quickly as they were pulled.

He could hear footsteps getting closer. They sounded faint, like only one person was approaching.

“Go away,” Virgil’s voice sounded clogged. “I don’t want you here.”

“Are you sure, kiddo?” Patton spoke as gently as possible. “I’m not mad. I just want to talk. Come back into the light. Please?”

“Why should I? You’re just going to hate what you see!” Virgil couldn’t keep his voice steady as it rang through the cave.

“Virgil, I would never hate you,” Patton said. “Just came out into the light.”

Virgil was hesitant. He weighed his options. There was no way he could hide there forever. He’d have to leave at some point. And he trusted Patton. Patton wouldn’t hurt him no matter what he looked like.

Slowly but surely, Virgil shuffled his way towards the mouth of the cave. His wings were dragging along the ground, making a rhythmic pattern with his footsteps. Soon, Virgil was a few short feet away from Patton. His wings were still hidden in the darkness.

“C’mon Virge,” Patton begged. “Just step out here.” The sunlight bled into Patton’s wings, illuminating the already dazzling feathers. “What’s stopping you?”

“What’s stopping me?” Virgil shouted. “Fear! The one thing that I live off of! Look at yourself Patton. You couldn’t be more wholesome. I’m disgusting- I always have been! These wings just confirm it! What’s the point of stepping out when I know you’re going to hate what you see? You can lie to the others, but you always tell me the truth. And the truth here is that I was never good for Thomas or any of you!”

Virgil broke down crying then, more hot tears covering his face. Patton reached forward and pulled the smaller angel into a hug. The embrace was both for comfort, and also to pull Virgil out into the light.

“Virgil, open your eyes,” Patton’s voice was barely audible. “Please.”

Virgil did as he was told, and he stared deep into Patton’s shimmering blue eyes. But then his vision was lead in a different direction. 

His wings were sparkling in the sunlight. Not only were they sparkling, they were an entirely different color. The black had shifted to a deep shade of blue under the light of day.

“That’s all I wanted you to see,” Patton spoke a little louder. “When you were yelling at the dragon, we were all blown away. And while you were flying away... it was so incredible.”

“I don’t understand... how?” Virgil himself was blown away as he shifted his wings shifted to reveal a dark shade of purple.

“Hey,” Patton cupped Virgil’s face is his hand, “We’ll figure this out. Just come back to the others please.”

“Okay,” Virgil said, nodding wildly. “I’ll come back.”

Roman and Logan were muttering ideas back and forth about what was happening, but they were cut off as Patton and Virgil came back into view.

“I’m sorry,” Virgil murmured, “I’m so so sorry. I didn’t want you guys to see. I just- I kept thinking that my wings were black, and I didn’t want you guys to hate me, and I just-”

Virgil broke down crying once more, but he was quickly swept into everyone’s arms. No one spoke for a few moments; they all just soaked in each other’s presence. It took a long while, but they eventually let Virgil go.

“Virgil...” Logan was at a complete loss for words.

“We should head back inside,” Patton suggested. “We can talk more when we’re out of here. I don’t want any bad things popping up while we talk.”

“That’s a good idea, Patton,” Logan agreed. “It’s best for all of us that we don’t stay here for long.

Virgil and Roman both silently agreed, and all four angels turned to exit the dreamspace.

A dazzling set of wings trailed behind them all.


	19. Chapter 19

The angels had all traveled to Virgil’s room to discuss what they had just witnessed. Virgil felt rather exposed without a shirt, and the others didn’t want him out of their site. No one spoke for a few moments as they were all still reeling from what had just happened. Logan was the first one to say anything.

“Virgil, how long have you been keeping your wings hidden from us?”

Virgil was hesitant to answer, but he complied. “Since the Accepting Anxiety video...” he mumbled.

“That was over a full week ago,” Logan stated, slightly bewildered. “And you experienced their emerging on your own?”

“Yeah. I mean, it was so sudden. It wasn’t like I knew it would happen and I could’ve called one of you for help. I’m not psychic.”

“Why didn’t you tell us as soon as you got them?” Patton asked shyly.

“I was scared,” Virgil said honestly. “I was under the impression that the feathers were black and I was exactly like you all thought I was. I was worried Logan was gonna report me and have me sent away. And I didn’t want to leave right after you guys have started to accept me for what I am.”

Tear started rolling down Patton’s face. Virge was quick to step over and wipe them away.

“You were scared of how we would feel?” Patton choked between sobs. “We never want to scare you Virgil!”

“I know Patton, I know,” Virgil cooed into the taller angel’s ear. No one said anything about it, but Virgil’s wings were glowing with a deep magenta shade.

Roman finally decided to join the conversation. “Okay, so I get why you got wings and why it took so long and why you were scared to show us, but I have a far more important question.” Everyone simply stared at the prince. “How did you make the dragon disappear? It just stopped at you and it vanished. And what was all that talk about ‘I didn’t make you for this’?”

Virgil’s wings turned blue at the realization he had more secrets to share. “It was something Dustin and I had planned. He wanted to make you a wreck if you ever came back. So he had me build up a nightmare and hide it away where you couldn’t find it. It was just supposed to ruin Thomas’ dreams. I never wanted it to hurt anyone.”

“I wish I never had to see or hear of that slippery serpent ever again,” Roman mumbled. “That’s completely understandable, but I still have one more question.”

All the other angels waited in silence.

“Whenever you feel like speaking, Roman,” Logan said in an annoyed tone.

“I was building dramatic tension,” Roman sneered. “But anyway, back to my question. WHY do your wings get to change color while ours remain stagnant?”

“Because he belongs to us.”

The voice came from an unknown source. The angels all jumped in surprise at its tone. It sounded oddly familiar to them. They all rushed to the central mindspace to find its owner.

The Guardians, the same angels who had taken away Roman, stood ominously in the center of the room. Patton and Logan both froze at the sight of them, while Roman and Virgil took cautious steps forward.

“What do you mean, I belong to you?” Virgil asked suspiciously.

The tallest of the Guardians spoke out. “Virgil, we raised you. You were bred to perfection. We have been waiting countless years for an angel of your caliber to have his potential reached. We have been needing someone like you for far too long.”

“What are you trying to say? That I’m some sort of an asset to you?”

“Precisely. You have a gift, Virgil. You are able to see through every other angel. You can sense what they are feeling and when. You know when they are ready to receive their wings.”

Virgil didn’t know how to respond. “I-I don’t though. I’ve never done anything like that before.”

“Why did Patton get his wings?” The Guardian asked.

Patton looked like he might jump up and fight the massive angel.

“Because he came out as gay,” Virgil replied harshly.

“Who told him to do that?”

“I did...” Virgil went quiet. All the other angels stood in stunned silence at the small boy and this towering giant who was attempting to claim him.

“And Logan? How did he receive his wings?” The Guardian continued.

“He admitted to having trouble computing his feelings. So he released them all at once.”

“Who made him do that?”

“I did,” Virgil felt a pit opening in his stomach.

“We have all heard about Roman’s story, but who was with him just before he received his wings? Who got him to open up in the first place?”

“...” Virgil could feel himself holding back tears.

“Answer me, Virgil!” The Guardian commanded.

“I did, alright!” Virgil’s wings turned a deep red. “I knew where they were all struggling with themselves and I got them all to open up and they’re all the way they are because I knew that’s how it should be. And yeah I can read through their feelings and I can sense when things are wrong with them but so what? That doesn’t mean you’ll get to use me on every other angel in existence!”

All of the Guardians scowled at Virgil. The small angels wings shifted to a faint purple. He had made a horrible mistake.

“Virgil, you should know better than to shout in the face of your superiors. I thought we raised you better than that. You’re going to have to be punished for your outburst”

The Guardian drew a blade out of thin air and looked prepared to strike. Patton and Logan were still frozen behind Virgil, but Roman was more than ready to fight back.

“Roman stay out of this,” Virgil ordered. “They’ll kill you!”

“I won’t stand idly by while they do the same to you, Virgil. I may not be the most fond of you, but I don’t wish to see you parish.”

“I love you too, Roman,” Virgil said with a smirk as he turned his attention back towards the Guardians. “Do your worst.”

“Did you just say you loved that angel?” The Guardian said, clearly confused.

“Yeah,” Virgil said equally confused. “Is that a bad thing?”

“You weren’t made for that. We never factored in the fact that you may actually love another angel.”

“I love all of them,” Virgil replied. All the angels in the room let out a gasp in unison. “I mean, I love Patton and Logan in a more romantic sense and Roman in a more platonic way, but I love them all.”

“This is highly irregular,” The Guardian murmured. “We may just have to eliminate all of you in that case.”

“You will NOT!” Virgil’s wings flared up around the other angels, their feathers shimmering with a bright crimson.

“Virgil, we can’t allow you to exist in such awful conditions. This lifestyle is an utter disgrace.”

“If you don’t like it, you could just leave us alone,” Virgil snarled back. “It’s not like I would leave these guys for you anyway.”

“Very well,” the Guardian said coolly, “But let it be known that if you ever require our assistance again, we will not be so willing to come to your aid.”

“Can you just leave?” Patton shouted from behind Virgil. “I think we’re done here.”

Without another word, all the Guardians vanished in a ball of white light. Virgil was still hesitant to let his guard down, though. All it took was a simple question to snap him out of it though.

“Did you really mean it when you said you loved us?” Patton asked.

Virgil’s wings went hot pink. “Yeah. Yeah I did. We’ve been around each other for so long, and you and Logan have always done your best to understand me. It was kinda hard to hide my feelings for you.”

“Awwww!!” Patton squealed in delight. “I love you too, Virgil!”

Patton then scooped Virgil into a well-overdue hug

“I’m still not the best with emotions,” Logan admitted. “but I am rather infatuated with you, Virgil.”

“Are you going to join the hug or not?” Virgil teased.

Logan responded with a smirk before wrapping his arms around the other angels.

“Rooommaaaaannn,” Patton sung out. “C’mon kiddo. You gotta join in too.”

“Fine!” The prince conceded as he tried to engulf everyone in his arms. “I say that after this we have a movie night. Virgil’s choice.”

“That sounds wonderful!” Patton cheered.

“I’d really like that,” Virgil said calmly.

So that’s what the angels did. They all wrapped up in blankets and spent the remainder of their night watching movies of Virgil’s choosing. Each angel was making contact with another in some way, and for the first time in a long time, the mindspace felt safe.


	20. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to everyone who has been in support of this story. Whether you came here from Tumblr or found it here on Ao3, all of the kudos and comments have been so wonderful to see. I hope many of you stick around to see more of my potential works.

Virgil woke up smiling. He hadn’t felt this happy in a long while. His date with Patton the night before had left him in a state of absolute bliss. He stretched out of bed and admired his wings in the mirror. A light pink blush still covered their feathers.

He used to feel so embarrassed by the color whenever it appears; it meant he was feeling flustered or infatuated with someone. It wasn’t until he saw how happy Patton was every time the shade appeared that Virgil came to accept the feeling. 

Virgil dressed in his new patchwork hoodie and prepared for the day. Roman said he had a surprise for the others, and Virgil has always been hesitant about surprises.

Virgil stepped out into the hallway and thought he saw a blond angel turn the corner, but he figured it was just Roman and his eyes were playing tricks.

Roman paced about his room, staring at the three small packages on his bed. Each was wrapped specially for his companions. A silver and cyan box for Patton, purple and black for Virgil, and a deep blue for Logan.

He had planned out the gifts ever since Virgil admitted to loving the other angels. Roman couldn’t help but notice his own feelings for the others as well. He was certainly closer to Patton than anyone else, but he still had his occasional moments of lusting over Logan and Virgil.

With a swift sigh, Roman scooped up all the boxes and made his way to the central mindspace. He nearly fell over at the site of Patton in the hall. He’s normally in the kitchen by now. 

Patton hummed quietly to himself as he prepared stacks of pancakes for everyone’s breakfast. Strawberry for Roman, blueberry for Logan, and chocolate chip for Virgil and himself.

He glanced over at Logan, who was deeply focused on the book he was reading. He heard Virgil coming down the hall as he set the table. Roman appeared within the central mindspace, looking a bit nervous. 

“Oh good you’re all here,” Patton cheered. “Breakfast is almost ready. Come on, sit down!”

Everyone gladly complied and the angels soon found themselves gathered around the kitchen table. Logan, Patton, and Virgil all went on pleasantly enjoying their breakfast. Roman barely touched his plate as he continuously fiddled with his crimson sash. Patton was quick to notice the prince’s odd behavior.

“Roman, is there something bothering you?”

The prince seemed to snap out of a trance in order to respond. “Yes! Or I mean NO!! There’s nothing bothering me- I’M FINE!”

“You’re a terrible liar,” Virgil muttered. “What are you hiding from us? You already said you had a surprise planned out.”

“I know, I know,” Roman said stiffly. “I just- I’m a bit worried you won’t be pleased with what I’ve got planned out.”

“I’m sure we’ll love it no matter what!” Patton said happily.

“Okay,” Roman said with a heavy sigh. He proceeded to place the three small boxes upon the table. “I’m assuming you can figure out which is yours.”

“The wrappings are all personalized for our color schemes?” Logan noted. “How clever of you, Roman.”

“Thank you,” Roman said with a smirk.

Logan took the liberty upon himself to had Patton and Virgil their respective boxes. They all tore off the wrapping paper in unison. The angels all stared down at transparent cases containing rings. Each ring was designed specifically for each angel.

Patton’s ring was an elaborately carved white-gold band with a large heart-shaped aquamarine stone at its crest.

Logan’s was a simple silver band with small bits of sapphire wrapped around it.

Virgil’s ring was somehow simple and complex. The band was made of tungsten, and the outside was filled with rainbow quartz. The inside of the band was colored purple to fit Virgil’s style.

The angels all looked up at Roman, who was messing with a ring of his own. ,The large gold band was elegant to say the least. At its crest, a massive ruby lay glimmering with a bit of topaz on either side.

“Oh, Roman, these are wonderful!” Patton said, smiling from ear to ear.

“There are quite exquisite, and they reflect our wings and personal styles quite well,” Logan said wholeheartedly.

“Yeah, they’re uh... They’re pretty cool I guess, Roman,” Virgil said, trying to hide his enjoyment. Nothing could stop his wings from turning pink yet again.

“You’re a terrible liar,” Roman said with a smirk. He quickly shifted to a more serious tone. “Promise me you’ll never take them off for as long as we have each other.”

“Of course I promise!” Patton shouted.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Virgil said. “I promise.”

“Aside from the occasional bit of routine cleaning,” Logan stated, “I promise not to remove this ring.”

“Splendid,” Roman said gleefully. “Now come with me! I have am extravagant group date planned for us all!”

Without waiting on input from the others, Roman yanked Patton by the hand and began running down the hall. Patton grabbed Logan, who grabbed Virgil, and soon all of the angels were racing through Thomas’s mind in a perfect line. Their wings fluttered beautifully behind them.

Things had finally stopped changing, and they couldn’t have felt happier.


End file.
